What will you do if your best friend hate you for you're lesbian and interested in her? (women, love)

[Emmywho]

I don't get the whole disguising yourself as a guy and approaching her online thing. Were you trying to trade pics or something? Or cybering?

[easternerDC]

Ok. I TOTALLY did not understand the whole situation when I first responded. I thought the entire friendship was on line from the beginning and you disguised yourself as a guy from the start of your friendship.

OK 1) I would not let this woman have so much control over your well-being.
2) You have to put yourself in her shoes. If I started to work with someone and we became friends and all of the sudden he OR she started to "make the moves" on me and I felt that they were interested as more than friends, I would feel really uncomfortable and need to distance myself. Anyway, I would be creep out if someone who was my "friend" started treating me like a boyfriend/girlfriend. The fact that she distanced herself and stopped talking to you was sign #1 for you to just back off. Then you still wanted to be in touch with her so you responded by contacting her on-line and pretending to be someone else. At this point, I would be thinking: what a freak! He/she needs to back off. I would also be a little afraid and think that he/she was stalking me.

I guess the only advice I could give is to forget about her, take your lessons learned and move on. I am sure we all have done stupid things when we like someone, but just make sure you learn from it. It is also OK to be attracted to your friends. You just have to not be so aggressive about it. If you creep people out by your actions, they won't even want to be your friend.

[mconzemius]

After reading her clarification of the friendship, my advice still stands. I would say you've ruined it with her because of your deceit. In the future, be honest and straightforward, and you'll see true relationships bloom. For the record, I've had a friend who was Bi-sexual tell me that she was attracted to me. She was honest with me about it, and I was honest with her about it. I told her that I was flattered, but that I wasn't interested, because I wasn't interested in women. Our friendship never suffered from it. Maybe your friend is homophobic? Just a thought. Good luck!

[Mrs. H]

Originally Posted by CoolHeat

Do u know how many chicks go both ways? Lemme tell ya - LOTS! Don't give up yet.

Uh...lemme tell ya CoolHeat: not all chicks go both ways...period. You may know a few who have but your statement is not entirely true.

Yeah esdiary...you messed up. Give your friend space and hope she will eventually forgive your lies. However, make sure this doesn't happen in the future...lying is a good way to lose friends. Good luck to you.

[LaoTzuMindFu]

Originally Posted by esdiary

I've no choice but to lie in order to save our friendship.

That pretty much tells me all I need to know. You need to just move on.

[CoolHeat]

Hello I didn't say ALL - I said Lots It's true.

Originally Posted by eyhossenlopp

Uh...lemme tell ya CoolHeat: not all chicks go both ways...period. You may know a few who have but your statement is not entirely true.

Yeah esdiary...you messed up. Give your friend space and hope she will eventually forgive your lies. However, make sure this doesn't happen in the future...lying is a good way to lose friends. Good luck to you.

[bibimbap]

letting go is really difficult and i don't blame esdiary for what she'd done. In cases like these, often the heart rules the head, and then there is that torture called Obsession.

[The Man in SATX]

Forthright and forthcoming is always better then deception. To many that is a line that they do not like crossed. If the shoe would be on the other foot would you accept it? You may say yes right now.. but really think about it...

I say let it alone and go from there.. I say as others have said.. hopefully you learned a valuable lesson from this situation. Good luck in the future.

[esdiary]

Originally Posted by Emmywho

I don't get the whole disguising yourself as a guy and approaching her online thing. Were you trying to trade pics or something? Or cybering?

We start off as an online friend and I intro myself as employee from her co. who interested to know her as friend. To make the whole things even real, I sent her flowers on her birthday as intro gift. Later, I used some stranger photos from friendster to share with her and all these while she thought the person chatting with her was that guy behind those photos. Our cyber friendship bloom into love relationship when I confessed and she accepted my love virtually. I fall really deeply into my own trap and make me hard to let go. Lies lead to another lies in order to maintain virtual relationship. Came to think about it, I feel that I'm very selfish and idiotic creature which cause so much hurt to this innocent friend of mine. I'm not only break her trust but her feeling as well.

[esdiary]

Originally Posted by bibimbap

letting go is really difficult and i don't blame esdiary for what she'd done. In cases like these, often the heart rules the head, and then there is that torture called Obsession.

This guilt has been bothering for more than 1 years and is really driving me crazy till to date. Sometime I really thought of giving up my life. I feel so much depressed, hurt and pain deep inside as she had already become part of my life. I lost my interest towards life.

In order to make me hate her, she started off by ignoring my calls, ditched me by hang out with other people and worst part she started to spread to my news to people around me on wut I had did to her and my personal matter related to her. Imagine the whole lesbian things about me spreading around the company I work in rite now and everyday I've to face those ppl fake up infront of me. It's really killing me deep inside till now. But I nvr even confronted her and still have faith that she's still the nice bestest friend ever since the 1st day I know her. I even thought of nominating her name as beneficiary of my Wills later and I hope I can "pay" back my "debt" to her

Tears replace her as my bestest companion everyday.