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Obviously the couple is not stable enough for them to have brought the kids into this.
I have a friend who thought EVERY guy was the exception to her rule of not meeting the child for 6 months, and thus, a parade of men.
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I don't have a Facebook page and don't know that much about it, but it sounds like what she has been doing is pretty much the norm. You seem to have some trust issues though and need to come to terms with that. Is she really untrustworthy or are you just letting some bad experiences in past relationships affect your ability to trust anyone again? I really can't answer that for you. Only you can. I would say the two of you are still in the get-to-know-you phase and recommend you not rush into anything more than being exclusive for now.
You know, kids meet people all the time that aren't 'forever' people that they might like or form temporary attachment to, like a teacher, for instance. It doesn't destroy them.
Moving in and taking on a full time parent type role can be different but even that can be comparable to having a nanny or frequent babysitter or even neighbors that have become great friends but move.
I think too many people go too far in the "don't let him meet your kids" bit.
Kids know they'll be getting new teachers every year and obviously the teacher is not a possible lifetime parental surrogate/figure. They know that their parent and SO do "special stuff" together and that makes much more of an impression than a frequent babysitter! I'm sure some kids really get their hopes up...just like the adults do and it's not fair for it to happen all the time - as in multiple times a year or even every year.
Friends moving? That's clearly beyond their control...but mom or dad CAN control bringing their "friends" home too soon.
Kids know they'll be getting new teachers every year and obviously the teacher is not a possible lifetime parental surrogate/figure. They know that their parent and SO do "special stuff" together and that makes much more of an impression than a frequent babysitter! I'm sure some kids really get their hopes up...just like the adults do and it's not fair for it to happen all the time - as in multiple times a year or even every year.
Friends moving? That's clearly beyond their control...but mom or dad CAN control bringing their "friends" home too soon.
Agreed. Unless the parent is doing "special stuff" with the teacher and babysitter also, it's entirely different.
I'm happy I waited, I won't think back and wish I had brought a parade of men around. Alternatively I would've regretted adding to the drama in my child's life caused by her parents, had I been trying to recreate a 'mom and dad atmosphere' after that big failure, if more were to follow.
She's an adult now and moved out last year. She told me she hopes the parade has started now that I don't have to worry about her emotional state.
There are always adjustments in relationships before reaching equilibrium...or chaos.
Can you tell if the adjustment path is steadying out, or unstable?
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