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Writing a lengthy post to ask strangers about your friend's boyfriend of 6 months comes off as grasping at straws as to why you think he's a bad fit for her. I'm getting the feeling of "why does she always pick these bad guys when I'm right here?" vibe. If she's happy just let her be and quit getting so involved (or trying to be involved) in her romantic affairs.
Writing a lengthy post to ask strangers about your friend's boyfriend of 6 months comes off as grasping at straws as to why you think he's a bad fit for her. I'm getting the feeling of "why does she always pick these bad guys when I'm right here?" vibe. If she's happy just let her be and quit getting so involved (or trying to be involved) in her romantic affairs.
Haha, you're adorable. I'm happily in a relationship of two years with the person I'm likely going to marry.
I'm genuinely concerned about my friend's vulnerability in relationships, and for good reason. Do you want to know how many hours I've sat on the phone with her as she contemplates everything that is wrong with her and what she is doing wrong each time one of these relationships end in a disaster? Many, many hours.
We are all supposed to meet up with them today and I'm just not a fan of this guy based on what she has told me.
If this upsets you, then maybe this isn't the thread for you.
I've been friends with this girl for almost eight years or so. She's smart, talented, ambitious, educated, well-off, etc. However, she's always had trouble dating. Ever since I've known her, she'd throw herself into "relationships" with these horrible people that would not treat her well. She'd always chase after these guys who would show moderate to little interest in her until they'd finally just disappear or tell her straight up they weren't interested.
With all that said, she's a bit fragile. She takes rejection pretty hard. This brings me to her current situation.
She started seeing this guy in the past six months or so, and as per usual, she's throwing herself full-on into the relationship like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. After a few months, they were even talking about moving in together. So this guy she's seeing is kind of an immature arse IMO. He's about 30 years old, currently unemployed. This guy's a big Trump supporter, and early on in the relationship, he'd try to guilt my friend into watching documentaries about how liberalism is horrible, how it's killing America, etc. My friend is pretty liberal btw. This sort of stuff made her feel bad, but she communicated it with him and stuck it out.
Well, this guy ended up moving across country to the city where my friend is originally from. He moved here months ago and has been unemployed since. Apparently, his only job experience is with his father's real estate business. So finding work, on his own, has been challenging. He also can't drive for Uber or Lyft because of a DUI in his past. My friend recently was offered a new position in her hometown and moved back out here as well.
For his age, this guy seems pretty immature. He doesn't have his life together. He's been inconsiderate to my friend's feelings in the past. But she is so hung up on him because this is her first "real" relationship. According to her, he does treat her well for the most part.
I am happy for my friend, and want to support her decisions. But I feel like she's jumping into this too fast, like she's desperate to be in a relationship, and compromising on her values and standards for a mate. I'm not one to interject where I'm not asked for advice, but I'm torn seeing her act this way.
Would you just leave this alone and let her sort things out for her self?
That's really all you can do. I'm in a similar boat. I have a friend that constantly hurts herself in a similar fashion and it is very frustrating. I want to see her do good, and she depends on me a lot. But she does start drifting on me and when she drifts away, she comes back with her latest self destructive escapades. And this one is very dangerous as in she could die with the stuff she gets into. This is not like chasing after unavailable men. I have buried more than 10 friends in the past seven years and this one means the most to me.
If you get too concerned, you can go into creeper territory. Trust me, I would know.
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