Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-09-2017, 01:20 PM
 
540 posts, read 1,096,045 times
Reputation: 931

Advertisements

Writing a lengthy post to ask strangers about your friend's boyfriend of 6 months comes off as grasping at straws as to why you think he's a bad fit for her. I'm getting the feeling of "why does she always pick these bad guys when I'm right here?" vibe. If she's happy just let her be and quit getting so involved (or trying to be involved) in her romantic affairs.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-09-2017, 01:31 PM
 
255 posts, read 200,060 times
Reputation: 356
Quote:
Originally Posted by gweilo845 View Post
Writing a lengthy post to ask strangers about your friend's boyfriend of 6 months comes off as grasping at straws as to why you think he's a bad fit for her. I'm getting the feeling of "why does she always pick these bad guys when I'm right here?" vibe. If she's happy just let her be and quit getting so involved (or trying to be involved) in her romantic affairs.
Haha, you're adorable. I'm happily in a relationship of two years with the person I'm likely going to marry.

I'm genuinely concerned about my friend's vulnerability in relationships, and for good reason. Do you want to know how many hours I've sat on the phone with her as she contemplates everything that is wrong with her and what she is doing wrong each time one of these relationships end in a disaster? Many, many hours.

We are all supposed to meet up with them today and I'm just not a fan of this guy based on what she has told me.

If this upsets you, then maybe this isn't the thread for you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2017, 04:17 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,341,473 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by Careerist View Post
I've been friends with this girl for almost eight years or so. She's smart, talented, ambitious, educated, well-off, etc. However, she's always had trouble dating. Ever since I've known her, she'd throw herself into "relationships" with these horrible people that would not treat her well. She'd always chase after these guys who would show moderate to little interest in her until they'd finally just disappear or tell her straight up they weren't interested.

With all that said, she's a bit fragile. She takes rejection pretty hard. This brings me to her current situation.

She started seeing this guy in the past six months or so, and as per usual, she's throwing herself full-on into the relationship like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. After a few months, they were even talking about moving in together. So this guy she's seeing is kind of an immature arse IMO. He's about 30 years old, currently unemployed. This guy's a big Trump supporter, and early on in the relationship, he'd try to guilt my friend into watching documentaries about how liberalism is horrible, how it's killing America, etc. My friend is pretty liberal btw. This sort of stuff made her feel bad, but she communicated it with him and stuck it out.

Well, this guy ended up moving across country to the city where my friend is originally from. He moved here months ago and has been unemployed since. Apparently, his only job experience is with his father's real estate business. So finding work, on his own, has been challenging. He also can't drive for Uber or Lyft because of a DUI in his past. My friend recently was offered a new position in her hometown and moved back out here as well.

For his age, this guy seems pretty immature. He doesn't have his life together. He's been inconsiderate to my friend's feelings in the past. But she is so hung up on him because this is her first "real" relationship. According to her, he does treat her well for the most part.

I am happy for my friend, and want to support her decisions. But I feel like she's jumping into this too fast, like she's desperate to be in a relationship, and compromising on her values and standards for a mate. I'm not one to interject where I'm not asked for advice, but I'm torn seeing her act this way.

Would you just leave this alone and let her sort things out for her self?
That's really all you can do. I'm in a similar boat. I have a friend that constantly hurts herself in a similar fashion and it is very frustrating. I want to see her do good, and she depends on me a lot. But she does start drifting on me and when she drifts away, she comes back with her latest self destructive escapades. And this one is very dangerous as in she could die with the stuff she gets into. This is not like chasing after unavailable men. I have buried more than 10 friends in the past seven years and this one means the most to me.

I am definitely in for a world of hurt...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2017, 04:20 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,341,473 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by Careerist View Post
Concerned friend = creepy?

Interesting...
Yup...

If you get too concerned, you can go into creeper territory. Trust me, I would know.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:55 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top