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In "real life", not many men talk to me and it is not frequent that men ask for my # or anything. As I've gotten older, I stopped approaching men because chances are if I'm attracted to them, they are in a relationship/married (or lying to spare me my feelings).
Anyway why do I prefer OLD? It gets you to talk to people you normally would never meet. The guy I've seen lives 45 minutes away, both of us are homebodies for the most part, and work in completely different fields.
I feel like meeting people in person, organically, is more authentic. Because you don't know anything about the other person, you can't "tailor" yourself based on their profile, or hide behind a screen...it's really hard to read someone when it's just words on a screen. They can be writing all the right things, but have no meaning behind them. It's harder to be fake in person. It's all about attraction and chemistry, which you can't really find out online. You can find out more about someone, if you have similar interests, etc...so it may seem like you're compatible, but then you can meet and not have any chemistry, or you're not attracted to them, or they look different than their pictures...I think you just find all this out a lot sooner in real life. Plus I think it's better to get to know someone in person.
My reason: Internet dating wasn't that big 20 years ago when my dating career ended. I agree with your line of reasoning. The pro-dating site argument is that it makes up for the loss of "reality" with lower search time and costs. I don't necessarily agree with that based on what I've seen and heard. All of my children have met their "mates" through direct contact, not the internet.
I feel like meeting people in person, organically, is more authentic. Because you don't know anything about the other person, you can't "tailor" yourself based on their profile, or hide behind a screen...it's really hard to read someone when it's just words on a screen. They can be writing all the right things, but have no meaning behind them. It's harder to be fake in person. It's all about attraction and chemistry, which you can't really find out online. You can find out more about someone, if you have similar interests, etc...so it may seem like you're compatible, but then you can meet and not have any chemistry, or you're not attracted to them, or they look different than their pictures...I think you just find all this out a lot sooner in real life. Plus I think it's better to get to know someone in person.
You are right about tailoring oneself and hiding behind the screen. This is why I wouldn't date men without decently filled out profiles and I didn't waste time being pen pals. If I found a man online who seemed interesting, I'd ask him out/ask to meet him in a few days. I think the mistake people make with online dating is they spend too much time communicating online instead of just meeting face to face.
People can fake offline too. I met the biggest liars offline. You know nothing about them and they try to pretend they share your interests. If online they talk about how they like fine dining, wine tasting, and formal events and you meet them and try to pretend they are a beer, wings, sports club kind of person, you know something doesn't quite add up. You don't get that luxury offline.
I have to agree with you that meeting someone offline does feel more authentic, but in the end online worked for me so I am terribly biased. Lol
In person of course. In person, you know right away the connection and chemistry with a person. Online dating you have a whole extra step until you meet the person and usually it doesn't work out.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jman07
In person of course. In person, you know right away the connection and chemistry with a person. Online dating you have a whole extra step until you meet the person and usually it doesn't work out.
Of course you have to meet the person to gauge chemistry. So yes there is an extra step but OLD gives me infinitely more stairwells to explore then the flat terrain of IRL.
As a 40+ year old woman I'd probably never of met any of the guys I've dated recently, even found one that might be leading to a relationship. It's much harder to organically run into single adults looking to date past your 30's especially if your not into the bar scene in most areas..
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