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My husband and I just got married a few months ago. Before we got married he would go out occasionally with his friends and come home at like 3 am after saying he would be home at around 12am. It would drive me nuts and we had a discussion and he agreed he wouldn't do that anymore and would communicate better. He did listen for a period but now recently he has been going out every weekend with his friends. He doesn't come home too late but it has now turned in to every weekend he needs a guys night. I feel like every weekend is a lot ? Am I wrong ? Last weekend he cancelled our dinner plans because he was out with his friends. Tonight we had gone to my friends and he said he was so exhausted but when we got home at 11 he said he is going to go meet his friends for drinks. He said he thinks its normal to go out once a week with his friends. Am I being unreasonable ??
Would it bother you if he was going out golfing once a week with these friends?
Is he going back to his single ways when he's out? Do you trust him? Do YOU go out on girls' nights?
It's up to each couple to decide how often is "too often." Some husbands are homebodies; some go out once a month, and many still go out once a week.
The two things that bother me about this situation are the fact that you've already expressed your concern to him yet he persists, and the 3 am return time. In my experience, nothing good happens that time of night.
You've only been married a few months, and he may be adjusting and learning to taper off. He may never give it up. You really need to talk to him and work out something acceptable for the two of you.
No, I don't think him hanging out with his friends 4 times a month is unreasonable. Let him have his guy time. If you try to cage him, it'll probably backfire on you.
The thing that sticks out to me is the fact that he was "exhausted" when at your friend's place, and then all of a sudden getting enough energy to go out with his buddies. In my opinion, no, that is absolutely NOT reasonable.
You've got to speak to him and hash out some mutually agreeable compromise on this.
No it wouldn't bother me if he went golfing once a week. I don't see my girl friends that often. Most live in different areas so I probably see them once every few months. Him going out every week with his friends makes me feel like he would rather hang with them then me. I understand having guy time but now it means every Friday I sit alone at home and he goes out partying w his friends. I guess I don't feel the need to have a girls night every week so don't understand why he needs guy night every week ?
The thing that sticks out to me is the fact that he was "exhausted" when at your friend's place, and then all of a sudden getting enough energy to go out with his buddies. In my opinion, no, that is absolutely NOT reasonable.
You've got to speak to him and hash out some mutually agreeable compromise on this.
Yea I asked him that before he went out and he said we were there 4 hrs and he was ready to leave. I have brought up this issue numerous times and I am not able to get through to him. Not sure what I can say where he will actually seem to care and act on it.
Yea I asked him that before he went out and he said we were there 4 hrs and he was ready to leave. I have brought up this issue numerous times and I am not able to get through to him. Not sure what I can say where he will actually seem to care and act on it.
Maybe start by telling him that when he cancels your dinner plans to hang with his friends, it makes you feel like you're not as important as they are?
(Assuming that's true.)
Seriously, let him know how *you* feel with all of this. I mean, it sounds like you actually want to spend time with the guy, and he's pretty much blowing you off for his buddies. I don't blame you a bit.
Yea we spend the rest of the weekend together. I agree obviously we have different views on things but is there a way to come an agreement on his going out habits ?
Maybe start by telling him that when he cancels your dinner plans to hang with his friends, it makes you feel like you're not as important as they are?
(Assuming that's true.)
Seriously, let him know how *you* feel with all of this. I mean, it sounds like you actually want to spend time with the guy, and he's pretty much blowing you off for his buddies. I don't blame you a bit.
Yes exactly. I feel like he blows me off for his buddies and makes me question why he wants to hang with them soooo bad ?? I mean I love my friends too but I don't have a need to see them every week like I did when I was single and younger.
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