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The time has come to update CD on what's going on with my life in general the last 12 months, since I decided to change my life up around this time last year. A lot of great things have happened, even though I've had some sad revelations along the way.
I'll start off with the fun stuff so far. I LOST A BUNCH OF WEIGHT!! I'm still holding on to my weight loss from the Fall. I gained about 10 pounds over the winter, but a cold and an emergency root canal all in the same week, aided in me losing those pesky 10 pounds.
I bought a house back in December and have really enjoyed my transition from a renter to a homeowner. I did some DIY projects that allowed me to show a little creativity. I built some shelves in my kitchen, resanded and stained an end table for my living room, and built an industrial style coffee table for my living room. Then had some other little fixes around my house that I never thought I'd be able to do.
I'd probably say the best thing though is that I stopped online dating. I'm not saying this to bash the service, but I had been on it pretty consistently since 2009. I had met a lot of women, but when it came down to actual romantic connections, I found myself burned more than successful. I had a success rate for FWBs, but when you're actually wanting romance, those FWBs really aren't going to cut it.
Now for the bad part of the last 12 months and I'm still uncertain if it's really even bad. I've somewhat settled into my single routine. With shutting down my online dating profiles, I've began to start accepting single as an actual long-term fixture in my life. Let me reiterate that I haven't BEEN THIS HAPPY in years, but there's a part of me that still holds out hope for long-term monogamy. I had this conversation with a female friend this past January and she said she's not dating in 2017. She did a lot of online dating herself and left feeling very disappointed as well. So for now, both of us are each other's FWB till something changes in our personal lives. It fulfills that itch for both of us.
It's a weird feeling for me to actually not be talking to anyone romantically or even trying to pursue someone. For the last 8 years that was my focus most of the time. I faked it till I made it with being single. I didn't always like it, but for now, I can say it's truly not all that bad. Hearing people complain about being single is actually starting to annoy me more and more. I just feel like there's so many people who base their lives on not being single that they accept whatever they get. When in reality, if they took care of themselves emotionally, they wouldn't find themselves so overwhelmingly lonely or in bad relationships. I get lonely just like everyone else does, but I know at this stage in my life, the only person who can truly make me happy is myself.
For all of us single people on V-Day 2017, get out there and do something fun! Even if it's just sitting in front of your tv playing a game or even giving yourself a few extra hours of sleep. Being single is not the end of the world. It may not be what we expected, but there's still a lot in life for us to be thankful for!
Congrats on losing the weight and becoming a homeowner! Two significant accomplishments! And you sound like you are in good spirits. It is important to feel comfortable with yourself and I am sure that will bring good things into your life, romantic and otherwise.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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The biggest takeaway for me from this is that you said you were happy. You've made a lot of positive things happen on your own. I don't think anything is wrong with the single routine.
The time has come to update CD on what's going on with my life in general the last 12 months, since I decided to change my life up around this time last year. A lot of great things have happened, even though I've had some sad revelations along the way.
I'll start off with the fun stuff so far. I LOST A BUNCH OF WEIGHT!! I'm still holding on to my weight loss from the Fall. I gained about 10 pounds over the winter, but a cold and an emergency root canal all in the same week, aided in me losing those pesky 10 pounds.
I bought a house back in December and have really enjoyed my transition from a renter to a homeowner. I did some DIY projects that allowed me to show a little creativity. I built some shelves in my kitchen, resanded and stained an end table for my living room, and built an industrial style coffee table for my living room. Then had some other little fixes around my house that I never thought I'd be able to do.
I'd probably say the best thing though is that I stopped online dating. I'm not saying this to bash the service, but I had been on it pretty consistently since 2009. I had met a lot of women, but when it came down to actual romantic connections, I found myself burned more than successful. I had a success rate for FWBs, but when you're actually wanting romance, those FWBs really aren't going to cut it.
Now for the bad part of the last 12 months and I'm still uncertain if it's really even bad. I've somewhat settled into my single routine. With shutting down my online dating profiles, I've began to start accepting single as an actual long-term fixture in my life. Let me reiterate that I haven't BEEN THIS HAPPY in years, but there's a part of me that still holds out hope for long-term monogamy. I had this conversation with a female friend this past January and she said she's not dating in 2017. She did a lot of online dating herself and left feeling very disappointed as well. So for now, both of us are each other's FWB till something changes in our personal lives. It fulfills that itch for both of us.
It's a weird feeling for me to actually not be talking to anyone romantically or even trying to pursue someone. For the last 8 years that was my focus most of the time. I faked it till I made it with being single. I didn't always like it, but for now, I can say it's truly not all that bad. Hearing people complain about being single is actually starting to annoy me more and more. I just feel like there's so many people who base their lives on not being single that they accept whatever they get. When in reality, if they took care of themselves emotionally, they wouldn't find themselves so overwhelmingly lonely or in bad relationships. I get lonely just like everyone else does, but I know at this stage in my life, the only person who can truly make me happy is myself.
For all of us single people on V-Day 2017, get out there and do something fun! Even if it's just sitting in front of your tv playing a game or even giving yourself a few extra hours of sleep. Being single is not the end of the world. It may not be what we expected, but there's still a lot in life for us to be thankful for!
I'm glad you're doing well. But you being single and having a FWB isn't quite the same as those of us who are truly single.
I'm glad you're doing well. But you being single and having a FWB isn't quite the same as those of us who are truly single.
Truly single isn't for me. I've tried it for 3 month stints on 2-3 different occasions and I just can't do it. I wouldn't even say I crave sex, but it's a nice stress relief once or twice a month. I still view it as single, because I would prefer an actual relationship. Even with my FWB, we don't talk on a daily basis or go out and do things together. We sleep together, she stays the night, and I either cook breakfast or she picks something up for the both of us. After that, we return to our regular lives.
I've never been a big fan of going out in public with my FWBs, because it takes away the opportunity of striking up conversation with possible single people that could be out. I don't think it's right to be trying to strike up romance when you're out with someone one on one. I went out with someone who did just that and it really rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn't about us dating, it was just that she was hitting on multiple guys and here I am sitting there feeling like a sucker. I thought you and I were going to hang out, not us going out and me watching you hit on everything that walks by. It just made me uncomfortable, because my thoughts of what we were doing were far different from her thoughts.
Congrats on the new home and the weight loss! It will be 8 years next week since I started a 120 pound weight loss, which took 14 months or so and I didn't even start out with the goal of 120 pounds at first, never thought it was even possible. And almost 7 years since I finished, I've managed to stay within a pound or two. Had a couple slight scares and small gains along the way, but always stayed within 5 pounds. My metabolism kind of sucks and I have to count calories to the best of my ability, but I manage!
The time has come to update CD on what's going on with my life in general the last 12 months, since I decided to change my life up around this time last year. A lot of great things have happened, even though I've had some sad revelations along the way.
I'll start off with the fun stuff so far. I LOST A BUNCH OF WEIGHT!! I'm still holding on to my weight loss from the Fall. I gained about 10 pounds over the winter, but a cold and an emergency root canal all in the same week, aided in me losing those pesky 10 pounds.
I bought a house back in December and have really enjoyed my transition from a renter to a homeowner. I did some DIY projects that allowed me to show a little creativity. I built some shelves in my kitchen, resanded and stained an end table for my living room, and built an industrial style coffee table for my living room. Then had some other little fixes around my house that I never thought I'd be able to do.
I'd probably say the best thing though is that I stopped online dating. I'm not saying this to bash the service, but I had been on it pretty consistently since 2009. I had met a lot of women, but when it came down to actual romantic connections, I found myself burned more than successful. I had a success rate for FWBs, but when you're actually wanting romance, those FWBs really aren't going to cut it.
Now for the bad part of the last 12 months and I'm still uncertain if it's really even bad. I've somewhat settled into my single routine. With shutting down my online dating profiles, I've began to start accepting single as an actual long-term fixture in my life. Let me reiterate that I haven't BEEN THIS HAPPY in years, but there's a part of me that still holds out hope for long-term monogamy. I had this conversation with a female friend this past January and she said she's not dating in 2017. She did a lot of online dating herself and left feeling very disappointed as well. So for now, both of us are each other's FWB till something changes in our personal lives. It fulfills that itch for both of us.
It's a weird feeling for me to actually not be talking to anyone romantically or even trying to pursue someone. For the last 8 years that was my focus most of the time. I faked it till I made it with being single. I didn't always like it, but for now, I can say it's truly not all that bad. Hearing people complain about being single is actually starting to annoy me more and more. I just feel like there's so many people who base their lives on not being single that they accept whatever they get. When in reality, if they took care of themselves emotionally, they wouldn't find themselves so overwhelmingly lonely or in bad relationships. I get lonely just like everyone else does, but I know at this stage in my life, the only person who can truly make me happy is myself.
For all of us single people on V-Day 2017, get out there and do something fun! Even if it's just sitting in front of your tv playing a game or even giving yourself a few extra hours of sleep. Being single is not the end of the world. It may not be what we expected, but there's still a lot in life for us to be thankful for!
You found something good about a root canal!
Congratulations on the weight loss - are you were you want to be regarding weight and fitness?
The house - that is really awesome. I totally understand your happiness.
Having a FWB where you can enjoy some other bodies warmth every now and then is great. It can take the depression out of singledom.
I can imagine, going off OLD takes a lot of pressure, frustration and annoyance out of your life. I hate OLD.
Congratulations on the weight loss - are you were you want to be regarding weight and fitness?
The house - that is really awesome. I totally understand your happiness.
Having a FWB where you can enjoy some other bodies warmth every now and then is great. It can take the depression out of singledom.
I can imagine, going off OLD takes a lot of pressure, frustration and annoyance out of your life. I hate OLD.
So how do you meet new people?
Happy V day to you!
You nailed it on the bold statement. It's where both of us are at in our current lives. We both want relationships, but they're not happening, but we both still enjoy sex. Have some sex, cuddle a little bit while sleeping, and then we go back to our lives the next morning. It's not optimal, but in my experience, it's far better than the alternative.
As for meeting people. A lady came and spoke at a meeting I was at on Friday. Tracked her down on Facebook and sent her a message. We sat next to each other in the meeting before she spoke, so we chatted a bit. We've exchanged numbers, but haven't went much further than that. She's an accountant and is super busy right now with it being tax season. I've asked if she's free for lunch or dinner, but it's up in the air right now. The ball is in her court.
As far as meeting people, I've truly just kinda left it up to chance and just hope for the best. Online had just become a train wreck for me and I just wasn't meeting the kind of caliber woman that would be a good fit for me. I met nice women, but didn't meet women that were right for me and vice versa.
So.... I'm really not meeting many single women to be totally honest. I also just haven't been going out as much, because I've been relaxing at my house. Where as in my apartment, I grew to hate it so much, that I found myself using OLD constantly. Now that I'm in my house, it really just lost its appeal. I was mostly looking at the same profiles weekly anyways, and the only traction I was really getting was exploring 60+ miles outside my zipcode. Even though I found myself to click with more women searching that far outside my parameters, it just never went past the exchanging of numbers, because with the distance, it just never materialized.
There's really a lot to be satisfied about buying a house and doing DIY work. I bought an almost 70 year old house, which was personally almost completely gutted (not technically gutted by proper definition) by myself and my best friend, who is a jack of all trades and a master of all trades. He did most of the work, way beyond my skill level. It's still something that I'm really proud of though. Anyone who was in the house before, would never believe the after unless they were in it or even just saw the outside, as we re-sided it, made a slight tweaking and rearrangement to the front entrance and put a new roof on it. New electric and completely re-wired, new kitchen, new bathroom and new plumbing. It's like a brand new house. I would flip it, if I weren't so proud of the work we put into it. 😄
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