Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't know if I have any good advice to share, but it sounds like you'll need to be ready to educate prospective love interests in the future.
It's all about presentation, right? Maybe instead of saying you have a disease, it would be easier to say you have a medical condition. There's a certain stigma associated when people start talking about STDs. Hearing the word 'herpes' without any other context is going to be a tough conversation.
Once you start researching a bit and understanding what it is, it's easier to see that herpes is not that much of a threat. That's the bridge you'll have to help a prospective partner bridge to be successful. And no doubt, you will be.
So, I've been irrevocably in love with the same man for six years. We met when he was twenty-seven and I was twenty-one. We've been on & off but never fully committed because he "wasn't ready". Although it may sound pathetic, I could never stop loving him, no matter how many times I tried to 'turn off' my feelings, love was still there. We'd fight, I'd leave for mnths on end, them come back, then we'd fight again, he'd leave for months on end, then come back. In between our times apart, I'd casually date but find myself wishing these men were him. The love I have for him is too pure for description.
Anyway, he called me 2 weeks ago after a two month 'break', very emotional saying this " I can't stand a life without you any more. I'm tired of fighting. I never want to lose you again. I want you in my life forever. I'm ready to change. Nothing else compares to what we have. I love you." Now, this sounds like a dream come true to a girl like me, right? Well, yes and no. A week before receiving this call, I found out that I had contracted hvs2 from a young man I received [bleep] sex from on one of our "breaks". This may sound insane but before he called professing his feelings to me, it was not so hard to accept the fact that I had to live with hsv2 because our last fight was so horrible that I was sure we'd never speak again. I had just began to feel 'ok' about being single for the rest of my life because he was the only one I wanted to be with anyway. But when he called and said finally "I want to be with you" right after my diagnosis, I felt like dying. I still feel like dying. What's the point of life if you can't experience one of its most precious gifts? This is the only person I've ever wanted to be with and now I can't.
We've spent some time together since his call. He's even tried to have sex with me but I just tell him 'I'm not in the mood' or on my period. I'd never hurt him. I'd never hurt him. I'd never infect him. I've read some articles saying that you can't spread the disease if you don't have an outbreak but I don't know how true that information is. I'd never risk it. But he's growing suspicious, asking me why I don't really want to have sex. Asking me if its him. Asking me if I find him unattractive. We've had great sex often in the past. We're usually all over each other and now I just cant.
I know I need to tell him soon. Every time I speak to him now, he's making plans for our future together; a house, children etc. But I keep avoiding it because I know that the day I tell him is probably the last day I'll ever see him. In my heart I want to believe that when I tell him, he won't care. But I know that won't be likely. I feel like nothing. Less than nothing. Damaged goods. I need some advice. Please no disrespectful comments. What should I do?
Mod cut: Orphaned (reference to posts which have been deleted).
Sex is sex. You can't say you had Mod cut.. Well, whatever you did or didn't do, you got a disease. You told him, he rejected you, after claiming he would buy you a house and give you kids. Your love WASN'T as strong as you said or else he would have stayed with you. Or better yet, you wouldn't have been messing around during a break that you've been through this guy with time and time again KNOWING he'll push his way back into your life. You don't do that to people you have that kind of love for. Sorry, not sorry.
I'm extremely sorry this happened to you, but don't take your frustration out on us, and don't act like you didn't know this boy was only in it to get what he wants. And it's not a serious relationship.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-22-2017 at 07:34 AM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
And you're right..you owe no one here an explanation, but you do any man in your life one. In fact, I think you owe anyone close to you an explanation...as you can see herpes can be spread by not having 'sex'.
I hope you work closely with your dr and have educated yourself on this virus so you can keep yourself healthy and protect others that are close to you.
And you're right..you owe no one here an explanation, but you do any man in your life one. In fact, I think you owe anyone close to you an explanation...as you can see herpes can be spread by not having 'sex'.
I hope you work closely with your dr and have educated yourself on this virus so you can keep yourself healthy and protect others that are close to you.
........ haven't had sex since contracting. don't plan on having any type of sex any time soon or getting close to anyone intimately in any sort of way. so there's no need to explain anything to anyone, until or if something changes of course....
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-22-2017 at 07:37 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
