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Here's where it gets weird-- I used Spokeo to reverse check the cell phone and it comes back with a female name as "most recent owner".
The last name is an Italian one ( he said he was Italian) and the location is close to where he said he lives. Does anyone know how accurate Spokeo searches are?? Man! Am I being catfished ?
I was thinking he would tell me to forget the telephone calling or just disappear but now this?
I hope the spokeo record was wrong because if it's a woman, I'll be creeped out.
His WIFE has the PHONE in her NAME, more than likely!
He went out and got a burner phone at Walgreens and that's why he all the sudden has a phone for you to call. The fact that the number came up in your search registered to someone else means that it could be a very newly assigned number for his new burner phone.
Regardless of any of that, I think you're crazy for still talking to him after so many red flags. Your behavior with refusing to move on from this guy and ignoring all of these red flags is not normal. You're not behaving like a normal person. I strongly advise you to rethink your next move at this point.
Agreed OP stop making a fool of yourself and move on. Have nothing more to do with him.
Ummm...I have moved on and will not have contact with him--I'm not making a fool of myself--I'm just trying to figure out what happened over the past couple of months-- I stopped contact with him last weekend after he stalled moving to phone. It's normal to try to understand events in your life. Please don't add judgmental comments if you can't be helpful.
Hi All:
I'm looking for some insight regarding an online relationship I'm involved in.
I'm an adult single woman who met a man online in a chatroom early last Fall. We were friendly in the chatroom for months before he Instant Messaged me in December. We talked initially as friends. He told me he was separated from his wife the past year and had a young daughter. He lived separate but hadn't filed for divorce yet. Fast forward to late December when he started instant messaging me every night in the chatroom and by January we started meeting outside of the chat and Iming until 2 and 3am.
Things between us became very intense very quickly it seems with sexuality becoming part of our chats along with sharing things about ourselves.
Things that raised red flags for me include: he rarely shows up to chat with me before 10pm, he sometimes abruptly signs off and then returns 10 to 20 minutes later saying he lost his internet connection, the two pictures he shared with me hide most of his face (i.e, wearing a ski mask, holding a stuffed toy in front of his face).
He tells me he likes me very much and wants to build a relationship with me but slowly.
Although we've mentioned wanting to hear each other's voice, when I asked when we would talk on the telephone he said he wanted to go slow. When I asked what that would look like in terms of time he said "It will happen when it happens. I'm not going to rush this". Very curt and changed the subject.
I'm feeling very uncomfortable with his stonewalling me with hearing his voice since it would involve exchanging phone numbers. Somehow a person who wants to talk for hours into the night anonymously but won't move to telephone because they want to go slow is hiding something.
I hate to call someone a liar or give him an ultimatum but I don't want to be played for a fool either.
Any advice is appreciated.
Thanks!
MarcellaAnne
go with your gut feeling....and stick with it...b/c it probably isn't right.
I heard a talk show discussing something similar, and the guy sent the woman pictures of himself, nude, but not his face... so, be very careful and cautious what you share with people online. The internet can be a great tool, but it can also be a great big attraction for a lot of dishonest people who only want to use you.
oh, and btw, as far as the judgmental comment, there are also a lot of argumentative nasty people posting in forums, so, just ignore the comments....
All of this. Never trust a man who always wants to communicate after 9:30 pm. But it's compounded when he won't even call you on the phone, and only sends pix that hide his face.
This guy was married.
Likely he was, however... I work evenings so I would be someone never available until after 9pm. I also hate talking on the phone with a passion! I would rather drive hours to meet in person before I would pick up a phone just to chat with someone. (back in the dark ages when my carrier kept track of usage I averaged 7 minutes of calls per month and if it weren't for work I doubt it would have been that high, lol)
PS Spokeo is all over the place as far as accuracy, my profile and listed "relatives" is wildly inaccurate
Update: So although I don't plan on pursuing this with so many red flags, I was wanting some resolution. Ghosting is ok but then I have to avoid the chat room I like and he should be the one to go away so I decided to respond to his email tonight and give him one last chance to a phone conversation, I assumed he would balk again and then I would just tell him I wanted to end communication. Then I assumed he would go away. Well-- he surprised me and said he wouldn't mind talking tomorrow and sent his cell phone number back to me in email. He said cell service was spotty in his area but I was welcome to call. Here's where it gets weird-- I used Spokeo to reverse check the cell phone and it comes back with a female name as "most recent owner".
The last name is an Italian one ( he said he was Italian) and the location is close to where he said he lives. Does anyone know how accurate Spokeo searches are?? Man! Am I being catfished ?
I was thinking he would tell me to forget the telephone calling or just disappear but now this?
I hope the spokeo record was wrong because if it's a woman, I'll be creeped out.
Now you're saying that you haven't contacted him since last weekend:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcellaAnne
Ummm...I have moved on and will not have contact with him--I'm not making a fool of myself--I'm just trying to figure out what happened over the past couple of months-- I stopped contact with him last weekend after he stalled moving to phone. It's normal to try to understand events in your life. Please don't add judgmental comments if you can't be helpful.
I responded to your first post above saying that you shouldn't have contacted him again after he gave you his phone number. But now you're saying that you haven't talked to him since last weekend. So how did you get his phone number if you didn't contact him again?
I guess I'm just really confused right now and I'm not sure of the timeline for all of these events. Either way, I still say you should just go 100% no contact at this point and be glad you didn't give him any of your personal information. There are a lot of sickos out there and who knows what the hell this guy's deal is or why he's been playing you.
Update: So although I don't plan on pursuing this with so many red flags, I was wanting some resolution. Ghosting is ok but then I have to avoid the chat room I like and he should be the one to go away so I decided to respond to his email tonight and give him one last chance to a phone conversation, I assumed he would balk again and then I would just tell him I wanted to end communication. Then I assumed he would go away. Well-- he surprised me and said he wouldn't mind talking tomorrow and sent his cell phone number back to me in email. He said cell service was spotty in his area but I was welcome to call. Here's where it gets weird-- I used Spokeo to reverse check the cell phone and it comes back with a female name as "most recent owner".
The last name is an Italian one ( he said he was Italian) and the location is close to where he said he lives. Does anyone know how accurate Spokeo searches are?? Man! Am I being catfished ?
I was thinking he would tell me to forget the telephone calling or just disappear but now this?
I hope the spokeo record was wrong because if it's a woman, I'll be creeped out.
OMG, I would have so much fun with that. I would tell him that I met a woman recently at the doctors office or wherever and how nice she was and invent a funny story and tell him that name and see how he reacts and have a blast.
Now you're saying that you haven't contacted him since last weekend:
I responded to your first post above saying that you shouldn't have contacted him again after he gave you his phone number. But now you're saying that you haven't talked to him since last weekend. So how did you get his phone number if you didn't contact him again?
I guess I'm just really confused right now and I'm not sure of the timeline for all of these events. Either way, I still say you should just go 100% no contact at this point and be glad you didn't give him any of your personal information. There are a lot of sickos out there and who knows what the hell this guy's deal is or why he's been playing you.
This. He's throwing the OP just the bare minimum to continue whatever this is. Once he establishes contact he can convince her everything is legit.
Please don't do this OP, you know this whole thing has something wrong with it.
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He went out and got a burner phone at Walgreens and that's why he all the sudden has a phone for you to call. The fact that the number came up in your search registered to someone else means that it could be a very newly assigned number for his new burner phone.
The one with the same number he gives to all the ladies he's sexting with from the chat room.
Hi All:
I'm looking for some insight regarding an online relationship I'm involved in.
I'm an adult single woman who met a man online in a chatroom early last Fall. We were friendly in the chatroom for months before he Instant Messaged me in December. We talked initially as friends. He told me he was separated from his wife the past year and had a young daughter. He lived separate but hadn't filed for divorce yet. Fast forward to late December when he started instant messaging me every night in the chatroom and by January we started meeting outside of the chat and Iming until 2 and 3am.
Things between us became very intense very quickly it seems with sexuality becoming part of our chats along with sharing things about ourselves.
Things that raised red flags for me include: he rarely shows up to chat with me before 10pm, he sometimes abruptly signs off and then returns 10 to 20 minutes later saying he lost his internet connection, the two pictures he shared with me hide most of his face (i.e, wearing a ski mask, holding a stuffed toy in front of his face).
He tells me he likes me very much and wants to build a relationship with me but slowly.
Although we've mentioned wanting to hear each other's voice, when I asked when we would talk on the telephone he said he wanted to go slow. When I asked what that would look like in terms of time he said "It will happen when it happens. I'm not going to rush this". Very curt and changed the subject.
I'm feeling very uncomfortable with his stonewalling me with hearing his voice since it would involve exchanging phone numbers. Somehow a person who wants to talk for hours into the night anonymously but won't move to telephone because they want to go slow is hiding something.
I hate to call someone a liar or give him an ultimatum but I don't want to be played for a fool either.
Any advice is appreciated.
Thanks!
MarcellaAnne
He has something to hide and I would RUN, not walk. My situation was different, but he turned out to be a real creep. I met him online before I started dating my ex, we messaged for months (he refused to meet up, talk on the phone and vid chat). I re added my profile on the dating site and he found me again. Turns out he not only fb messaged me after I told him I was deleting my profile, but he also looked up my ex. When I did meet up w/him for a date, I understood why he was stalling, I picked up that he wasn't all mentally there and kind of flipped out when I told him I wasn't feeling it after the date. I would def cut contact because if you do meet, you don't like him, he prob already built up some fantasy in his head.
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OP stop making a fool of yourself and move on. Have nothing more to do with him.
