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If your wife is out of town with friends, do you really expect her to call you and tell you where they are going? I don't get it. Plans change. You really want to be woken up if someone decides go to out at midnight on a whim? Like I mentioned before, my husband went to Thailand for a month, half the time I had no idea where he was, he would email and check in when he could. But I certainly wasn't going to stop him for doing something he had always wanted to do. ( for the record, I have no desire to go there, and I am not comfortable leaving my child/pets/job for that long).
I don't think this is anything to do with respect, or courtesy. Unless you are flat out lying and hiding where you are going. Most people have cell phones, so it's not really an issue of " knowing where your woman is at all times"...if there is an emergency that is what phones are for. I totally respect my husband, and vice versa. I would never do anything to hurt him, or our family. Right now he is travelling on business actually, and I have no idea what they did last night. I go to bed early. I don't need to know, even if he was out till 2am, I don't need to know about it. He will text today I am sure and we will chat about how the trip is going, what he has been up to etc.
Actually, my wife had best keep going to work and keeping the house tidy. I get really upset when she doesn't keep up with her responsibilities.
You know what makes no sense about knowing exactly and at all times where someone is when they're out of town?
That you all have cell phones.
So if there is an emergency, what are you going to do anyway? You're going to call the cell phone.
So let's not pretend it's about some kind of fake concern. It's about insecurity and control.
Actually, it doesn't bother me at all to let others know where I am. It makes perfect sense to me. Of course people have cell phones. I like the fact that if something happens to me, another person will know soon, not 4 days later.
But, keep in mind, I have my opinion and You have yours. They don't have to be the same.
For those saying they want texts from their partner due to safety reasons, and you have smartphones, here's a novel idea: download Life360, or Find My Friends or some other such app if safety is the concern. That way no one has to be in the 'wrong' by not texting where they are. You can just open the app and find them. I have had that app for years and can see where my boyfriend is if I choose. Of course, if you are with a super possessive weirdo, that opens you up to "HEY, why are you at 1st Ave. and A St. this time of night??" In which case you can just delete them off the app easily.
Actually, it doesn't bother me at all to let others know where I am. It makes perfect sense to me. Of course people have cell phones. I like the fact that if something happens to me, another person will know soon, not 4 days later.
But, keep in mind, I have my opinion and You have yours. They don't have to be the same.
I agree completely.
So to say it is wrong and the gf should be the object of ire makes zero sense.
Let me add that my ex used to drive truck across the country. He would call me every night and let me know how far he was on his trip. (With his cell phone!)
Well, one evening he didn't call. I tried calling him several times. (I tried calling his cell phone!). I wasn't getting him and I grew more and more concerned. I started calling truck stops, since I knew his route. I then looked up hospitals and started calling them.
As it turned out, he was closer to home and didn't contact me because he wanted to surprise me. Naturally by that time I wasn't too happy with any kind of surprise.
My point being that had he been pulled out of his truck and beaten to an inch of his life, his cell phone would do him no good and I wouldn't have known where he was or that he wasn't where his schedule would have put him.
Way too many control issues in this scenario. Have you two considered counseling? Trust seems to be a problem. You have to trust when you love. Before you love it is better to trust first. Good luck.
Checking in to let a S.O. know where you are/what you are doing does not mean accounting for every moment of every day. We have known routines and I only check in (or request it from her) when there is a significant deviation from that routine.
If I have a "thing" after work, I will simply call to say I will be at such and such place until whatever time and heading home thereafter. If it is something she can attend I’ll ask if she would like to come. Easy.
If I am out of town I do the same except I’ll call when I return to my hotel and chat until we fall asleep. It is never too late since, in my entire life, neither I or anyone I know have never conducted business or "networked" after midnight. I may sit at home or the office until 3a.m. working on stuff but never mingle with colleagues or others that late. (The O.P’s GF’s comment about networking was probably intended to assure him it was all business, but it had the opposite effect.)
Because I cannot lie to her about anything, if I need to surprise her, like the trucker, I must account for times and places in general but don’t need to go into detail. I can say I’ll be at the mall for an hour buying shoes (but do not need to mention my stop at the florist or jeweler).
Checking in to let a S.O. know where you are/what you are doing does not mean accounting for every moment of every day. We have known routines and I only check in (or request it from her) when there is a significant deviation from that routine.
If I have a "thing" after work, I will simply call to say I will be at such and such place until whatever time and heading home thereafter. If it is something she can attend I’ll ask if she would like to come. Easy.
If I am out of town I do the same except I’ll call when I return to my hotel and chat until we fall asleep. It is never too late since, in my entire life, neither I or anyone I know have never conducted business or "networked" after midnight. I may sit at home or the office until 3a.m. working on stuff but never mingle with colleagues or others that late. (The O.P’s GF’s comment about networking was probably intended to assure him it was all business, but it had the opposite effect.)
Because I cannot lie to her about anything, if I need to surprise her, like the trucker, I must account for times and places in general but don’t need to go into detail. I can say I’ll be at the mall for an hour buying shoes (but do not need to mention my stop at the florist or jeweler).
They're is always a "harsh penalty" hanging over your head if you fail to conduct your relationship amenably to the other person. You could lose your relationship.
BTW, I'm a night owl, my DH is not. If I'm partying with friends & we decide to go to another party (gasp, after midnight), no way would I call to tell my DH. He's asleep. Even if he were awake, I wouldn't call, for what? He knows I'm out with friends. You owe her an apology.
Yur a tuff woman! I like that.
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