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Some people are separated for 2 years or more before getting legally divorced.
True.
I've known people who were separated for 5+ years because their spouse decided to contest and argue over every little detail of the divorce. Nasty business.
There are exceptions to everything. My main point is that a person should not let themselves be the crowbar that helps pry two married people further apart. If one married partner can get his/her needs met by a third party, that is often the easiest path compared to actually trying of understand the marital problems and fix them.
Another benefit of waiting until the divorce is final is that future guilt and family anger is avoided. Especially if the married person has children.
If Jane takes up with Mike while he is still married to Edna, Mike and Edna's children may hold that against Jane for the rest of her life. I have seen that happen several times. OTOH, if Mike and Jane get involved after the divorce is final ( and even wait a few months), then there is less reason for the children to blame Jane for being a 'homewrecker'.
Divorce is tough enough without adding infidelity.
I started a job 3 months ago the same time as a male colleague who is a few years older than me. Over time we have chatted and I have found myself attracted to him. I get from his body language that he likes me too. He gazes at me when he talks or he will come over to me and talk nonsense just so he can speak to me. The problem is he is married with 3 children.
I have to shut my feelings off for him and act as though they don't exist. He makes things awkward as I will walk in the office and I catch him staring at me or he will go in to the kitchen when I go. I don't think he is happy at home as he moans about his children and how much they cost and he sighs at how he has the children on his own at weekends as his wife works shifts. Today I got flustered as he came near me, I know I cannot involved but how can I deal with this knowing he fancies me too.
Hey!!! He sounds like a great catch, maybe he father children he doesn't like on you too!!!
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Come on now, do you really need to sleep with a coworker just because he looked at you? Get your priorities straight, at least *try* to act professional on the job..
Is anyone being reminded of Morello from Orange is the New Black?
I remember......Morello had a fantasy relationship based solely on crossing paths at the post office or some such thing.....maybe they had coffee, but nothing else. Morello told her prison friends he was her fiance', guy was married, she snuck into his house.....he ended up telling her to eff off in front of her friends at the prison.
Imagine your husband doing these types of things with a co-worker. Imagine you have a husband and three little ones and hubs is eye ballin the younger woman at work.
Sit there and marinate on that thought. Would you like that????
Stop letting yourself get titillated with the attention. This doesn't mean anything, it could be any woman, it happens to be you. A man with a roving eye whose married isn't all that particular. I'm saying this to give a bit of a reality check here. It's also the truth. Any port in the storm as the old saying goes.
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