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I haven't been with someone for a really long time. It has been about 6 years or so since I've had sex. I have met several guys but there has been not much attraction except one but I found out he was married..
I wasn't out to meet guys but I go out from time to time and conversations start.
so I met someone when I was out about a month and a half ago. I had sex with him the first night we met. We met every week since then one night a week.
Our personalities are a little different, he is more an extrovert, I am an introvert. he is more into sports, I am more into nature and arts.
He also has been married and has two teenage kids. I have never been married and I don't have and do not want any children.
I am worried because I am thinking about where it is going now. I haven't planned on being with anyone but through the years have thought about getting married and settling down.. but some days I think about staying single forever.
He is 45, I am 38. I think he likes me but i'm not sure..how do you know?
He texted me and asked me to come to a job site in another state with him this week for four days and I said yes...does that mean its becoming more serious or he wants more fun with me until he dumps me...I don't know how to bring things up because I am also having fun and don't want to make things too serious with "the talk"
I haven't been with someone for a really long time. It has been about 6 years or so since I've had sex. I have met several guys but there has been not much attraction except one but I found out he was married..
I wasn't out to meet guys but I go out from time to time and conversations start.
so I met someone when I was out about a month and a half ago. I had sex with him the first night we met. We met every week since then one night a week.
Our personalities are a little different, he is more an extrovert, I am an introvert. he is more into sports, I am more into nature and arts.
He also has been married and has two teenage kids. I have never been married and I don't have and do not want any children.
I am worried because I am thinking about where it is going now. I haven't planned on being with anyone but through the years have thought about getting married and settling down.. but some days I think about staying single forever.
He is 45, I am 38. I think he likes me but i'm not sure..how do you know? He texted me and asked me to come to a job site in another state with him this week for four days and I said yes...does that mean its becoming more serious or he wants more fun with me until he dumps me...I don't know how to bring things up because I am also having fun and don't want to make things too serious with "the talk"
He probably wants to spend more time with you and see where it goes from there. Don't overthink it.
Why does he only see you once a week? Does he take you on dates, or just come over and hang and have sex? Does he call you during the week, text "I miss you's", etc?
Listen to your gut. If you are afraid to find out where it's going, or not going, something's wrong. I say that as someone who spent years justifying men not being sure where he wanted to go and never wanting to commit and denying what my heart knew was truth. I kept being the girl who was awesome and amazing, but never the one they fell in love with (until my last relationship and my current one) Not saying this is similar, but YOU know, and you know your past patterns and how you felt inside, so I believe if you get quiet and listen, you will know if the feeling is the same this time.
It feels GREAT to be sure of a man's love. Just don't settle, okay?
Why does he only see you once a week? Does he take you on dates, or just come over and hang and have sex? Does he call you during the week, text "I miss you's", etc?
Listen to your gut. If you are afraid to find out where it's going, or not going, something's wrong. I say that as someone who spent years justifying men not being sure where he wanted to go and never wanting to commit and denying what my heart knew was truth. I kept being the girl who was awesome and amazing, but never the one they fell in love with (until my last relationship and my current one) Not saying this is similar, but YOU know, and you know your past patterns and how you felt inside, so I believe if you get quiet and listen, you will know if the feeling is the same this time.
It feels GREAT to be sure of a man's love. Just don't settle, okay?
This is exactly how I feel. We go to bars and hang out then go back to his place and have sex. and it is really fun for me too. But I feel like he thinks of me as sexy, awesome, fun and cool but will never love me...and that kind of hurts and I feel like if I am going to be with someone I want that love and protection. but I am really attracted to him and its hard to find.. but we don't talk during the week and I don't feel like its necessary....I guess its partly me too..i don't know what to do
i think you have found possible gold here. a guy that wants to be with you. relax and enjoy the experience. i had twelve years on my last girlfriend, and she was the one that had some issues that i tried hard to mitigate. once she relaxed, we could enjoy each others company.
so again, relax, take your time with this relationship, and have some fun.
Why not just enjoy this for what it is. He is not going to jump in as fast as you might want. With two children and a marriage that went bad, he is of course going to be cautious. In just a month or two he has no idea of who you really are. You barely know him.
Just enjoy it and don't worry about where this is going. The moment a woman asks that question is the moment it starts falling apart cause you will make him feel pressured.
If he has been having sex with you for several weeks, he likes you. He is going to go very slow so just enjoy falling in love.
This is exactly how I feel. We go to bars and hang out then go back to his place and have sex. and it is really fun for me too. But I feel like he thinks of me as sexy, awesome, fun and cool but will never love me...and that kind of hurts and I feel like if I am going to be with someone I want that love and protection. but I am really attracted to him and its hard to find.. but we don't talk during the week and I don't feel like its necessary....I guess its partly me too..i don't know what to do
Sounds like you may need to have "the talk". At least the "where do you see this going/do you want to be exclusive" talk because that usually leads to talking about general feelings on LTRs, marriage, kids, all that stuff. You'll need to initiate that it sounds like.
You haven't had sex in six years and now you've had sex with this guy. Probably pressuring this more from your end than his.
He sounds like he's interested and likes you a lot. As others have said, don't overthink this.
That being said, there's a thin line between mutually fun sex and feeling used. You do need to be sure you're both on the same sheet of music. You may be reading more into the sex than he is. You need to find out where his head is. I mean, if you're expecting things to be exclusive, and he's not - then, well, you both need to know that.
Just ask him. If he freaks out, you've got your answer. You can take it from there. But at least you'll know.
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