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I think the only reasons that make sense to get married are if you are in the military, if you want kids, or if you are older far as SSN etc. I'm none of the three so there is no benefit as far as I'm concerned in considering marriage. It is just not for me.
Problem solved. Don't marry.
Another benefit for those of us who have pensions with survivor benefits is that, if the option is chosen, our spouse will continue to receive our full pension benefits after our deaths.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon
Problem solved. Don't marry.
Another benefit for those of us who have pensions with survivor benefits is that, if the option is chosen, our spouse will continue to receive our full pension benefits after our deaths.
Pensions? Unless you work for a well funded government, they pretty much are a thing of the past, especially in the private sector.
I think the only reasons that make sense to get married are if you are in the military, if you want kids, or if you are older far as SSN etc. I'm none of the three so there is no benefit as far as I'm concerned in considering marriage. It is just not for me.
Surely you see the benefit in having additional household income since you have roommates.
Most of the "legal" benefits of marriage can be addressed without the legal need for marriage. Some benefits like the survivors SS benefits don't convey over. That is the one that is concerning me for our situation. You have to be legally married for 10 years for that to occur. That is the one thing that is giving me pause and thinking about just going ahead and getting married. I've said here over the years that I have no interest in marriage I'm not really against per se, I just don't find it necessary and Mrs. Chow is probably more against it than I am.
We've been together a long long time now, longer than most marriages that I know of, but whatever. I can't really see what the real difference is, but dozens of people over the years here on this forum say it's different so I suppose I can just go by what they say. I don't personally think it means any more in terms of being committed or more of a sense of security. This is clearly demonstrated by the high divorce rates, I don't think the "sanctity" of marriage is really something to tout when the marriage stats are so unimpressive.
I've heard and read just anecdotally speaking that marriage is on the decline throughout most western nations. Not sure what is driving that trend. I will say that my approach to marriage is because I don't have or want kids. I think if you have children that you should go ahead and just get married, anything that gives the appearance of security or whatever for the kids well being is a good thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I've made significantly more money over the years than she has. Social security, hoping it's still around in 18 years is one of the pillars of our retirement plan. If I drop dead she'll lose a large-ish amount of money out of her monthly budget. I'm just trying to make sure she's taken care of if I check out before her.
Yeah Mike and I are in the same situation. We've known each other over 40 years and been together for 20. We consider ourselves married but of course that doesn't work in the legal world.
We don't need a piece of paper to prove our love but he wants to protect me. He has an estranged daughter and he doesn't want any issues for me in case he goes first. So...we are getting married in July in a helicopter over Niagra Falls. It's a practical thing for us. SS is an issue also but who knows if either of us has 10 years left.
The financial and legal benefits that BellaLind already mentioned are really the biggest benefits to getting married but there is also a sense of emotional security that comes with being legally married.
As a widow I will tell you that being married is a big deal. If I weren't legally married I wouldn't have been entitled to my husband's social security death benefits or his worker's compensation benefits. I would be in big trouble.
Also, I can't imagine not being the one to make the final decisions regarding my husband's funeral arrangements. If we weren't legally married his parents would have gotten to make those decisions and it would have been a disaster. It was bad enough as is.
I'm in a position now where I can never remarry due to financial reasons and it does make me a little sad because I enjoy sharing that bond with someone. I do believe that you can be in love and committed without being married but it is different. The relationship can be strong and meaningful and of course marriage doesn't guarantee an everlasting relationship but I would still prefer to be married to the man I'm in love with and plan on spending my life with.
It's not in the cards for me again but I loved being married. If you marry the right person marriage is wonderful. I think there's something special about making that type of commitment to another person. I like the sense of security that comes with marriage. I like calling the man I love my husband and I like being his wife.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first husband at a young age and I completely agree with all of your points.
What are the benefits gained by marriage? Surely marriage is not an antiquated idea and people do still want marriage and commitment.
If you were going to convince a partner that marriage is a good idea, what reasons would you give?
1) Stability
2) Reliability
3) Cost Efficiency
4) Convenience
5) Commitment
6) Love
7) Family
8) Happiness
Not to say that these cannot be achieved outside of marriage nor that marriage itself brings these parameters. The success of marriage is marginally dependent upon your partner and the majority dependent upon yourself. Typically you'll get out what you choose to invest.
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this and move out when my lease is out. Can't do that easily in marriage.
