Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been using viagra for almost a year now. My wife assumes it's because I have erectile dysfunction, but the truth is that I'm not as attracted to her as I used to be. I have no problem getting aroused if I see a woman who I find attractive, but with my wife, well sadly I don't see her how I used to.
I would like to stop using viagra because I'm worried that there might be side effects, which isn't something that I had considered at first. But it concerns me now and so for this reason I've been having sex with my wife less and less often.
She has become annoyed and has started asking questions but I don't know what to do because on the one hand, her attractiveness to me has diminished, but on the other hand, I'm not sure how to bring up the subject of why I'm having to use viagra.
What's a tactful way of letting her know the real reason? I'm 35, she's 34.
This is not a sex therapy forum, seek professional guidance for your issues or talk to your wife about your issues. I doubt you will have to worry about having sex with your wife if you show her this thread.
This is not a sex therapy forum, seek professional guidance for your issues or talk to your wife about your issues. I doubt you will have to worry about having sex with your wife if you show her this thread.
"Honey?! Come read this thread I made!"
"What? Not now... I'm trying to finish this bottle of whiskey before you take that pill."
What do you think might make her more attractive to you again? A change in look, go shopping with her and ask her to try a new hair color. A change in style? Ask her to go with you to buy some slutty/classy clothes? A change in attitude, tell her what you want to experience. Things probably won't get better unless you talk to her and make plans together.
As for people who say, just dump the relationship and move on... well, that's just a sad commentary. Marriage is a job - it is time to punch in.
As for people who say, just dump the relationship and move on... well, that's just a sad commentary. Marriage is a job - it is time to punch in.
Yap. Most people don't know that as a fact. It really is. And those that say to dump the marriage, obviously has sex as the no.1 priority in their marriage.
The OP should talk to his wife about it. It is obvious his wife has let herself go.
Yap. Most people don't know that as a fact. It really is. And those that say to dump the marriage, obviously has sex as the no.1 priority in their marriage.
The OP should talk to his wife about it. It is obvious his wife has let herself go.
It's not obvious to me. Where was that spelled out?
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,533 times
Reputation: 1525
I think you're being somewhat cruel with regard to your wife. You are letting her "assume" that you have erectile dysfunction instead of being completely honest with her and telling her the real reason: because you're not sexually/physically attracted to her anymore. That may seem cruel for you to say that to her, but IMO, it's way more cruel to deprive her of human touch and sexual intimacy just because you're not aroused by the sight of her - and on top of that - letting her think you have ED when, in reality, you're getting erections by staring at other women.
So, are you as physically attractive as you were when you both got together? Unless you're Andrew Lincoln, I'm guessing that your looks have faded too, as you have insinuated that your wife's physical attractiveness has. Why don't you ask her to start exercising with you and suggesting that you BOTH start making a lifestyle change regarding your eating habits?
No one stays sexually/physically attractive forever. Marriage is about loving your spouse on the inside as well as being sexually attractive to their physical body...BUT, when their beauty/physical attraction fades, you're not supposed to withhold sexual intimacy just because they "don't do it" for you anymore. You're supposed to do everything you can to maintain that part of your marriage by encouraging your spouse to do things that may make them more attractive in your eyes. Have you tried to do that yet? If not - and if you truly do love your wife - you should start doing so right now.
It's actually not rocket science when his junk does not need a viagra before but now he has to. But only for his wife.
Nope - could be he just has a short attention span and "needs novelty" - in which case marriage isn't a smart choice for him. I certainly wouldn't assume anything negative about her. Seems the OP would have likely told us if she put on 20 pounds or grew a mustache - guys don't usually fail to be graphic to gain sympathy where they can.
It's actually not rocket science when his junk does not need a viagra before but now he has to. But only for his wife.
My ex actually got physically hotter as our relationship progressed but I was less sexually attracted to her bc she was cheezing me off all the time and I'd lost respect for her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're supposed to do everything you can to maintain that part of your marriage by encouraging your spouse to do things that may make them more attractive in your eyes. Have you tried to do that yet? If not - and if you truly do love your wife - you should start doing so right now.
