Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That's not my problem, life isn't fair. Everyone has dealbreakers this is one of mine. Deal with it.
There is nothing to deal with here because I am not interested in dating you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Nightsong
If you marry someone with debt. That debt can become your debt.
That's why people are cautious....
Not saying I'm opposed to marrying someone with debt. But you do Have to be careful
Not everybody dates with the intention of marriage.
Would you date someone who is fit and has a good career, making about $70,000, but who is about $100,000 in debt (mostly student loans), and who pays off about $1,000/month?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonder100
Thank you for the replies! And humor, ha. Yes, I am the one in debt...
I guess I should clarify:
Would it be a deal breaker if things were to turn serious, after having dated a while?
I see no problem w/ this. I mean if you're paying off your debt religiously (as in every due date) & not slacking off on payments then great! That's the ONLY way to get out of the debt it to pay it. If someone isn't going to not date or marry someone due to that, that's being too picky/anal if you ask me.
You k now how many doctors & lawyers are still paying off their school loans? But they wouldn't have gotten that good job without getting the financial aid to go to school, so as long as they got a good job out of it and are paying it, so what! YES, I'd still marry them.
The main things are:
1) What's the debt for?
2) Are they paying it regularly?
Being $100K in debt from school loans (or maybe to start a business) & paying it down is definitely different from being $100K in debt due to gambling & not caring about paying it down.
Dating, yes. Marriage with it....depends on how well they manage their debt AND how much is it. If she's responsible, then it's no big deal. If she's only making minimum payments while she goes and buys louie vitton often, then i may think twice about taking it further than dating.
Would you date someone who is fit and has a good career, making about $70,000, but who is about $100,000 in debt (mostly student loans), and who pays off about $1,000/month?
That is real tough. I'm educated, but have no debt from college. So far I have been dating sophisticated women here in NYC. All have good jobs and careers, but with that debt halo over their heads. Again I'm not to sure on taking that step with women who have huge load of money on their heads. This means that marriage, and having kids will be delayed for years to come. 2, as a man I would have to contribute more resources while she contributes less do to tuition payments. Asking about debt is just as important as asking about someone's sexual past or history. It should be discussed. I would not mind dating a woman in debt, but marrying her is another story. If you are dating her, and sex is an option. Please use protection so that baby does not form out of wedlock.
Why continue to date someone if you know you're ultimately not going to commit to them?
Would you tell him it's going nowhere when you found out about his debt?
I would have a hard time being involved with someone who had that much debt. It's a red flag, but I might consider someone, depending on the situation.
I think anyone you date should be able to look at it this way...
If you got married and lived off one income for 2 years, you would about have that paid off. That's like the length of time it takes to finish a grad school program. I know many people who lived off one income with their spouse while they went back to school full time. After that 2 years, you both benefit from the fact that you have that degree and higher earning potential... For what, another 25 - 35 years? Sounds like a good trade-off to me!
Student loan debt never bothered me, providing payments are made and the person is actively employed thanks to degrees attained.
Other debt I wouldn't necessarily view the same, and context would come into play.
In total agreement
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That's the ONLY way to get out of the debt it to pay it. If someone isn't going to not date or marry someone due to that, that's being too picky/anal if you ask me.
I don't care that you don't want to date me so I don't know what your intent was with that snarky reply.
