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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
you never had a partner, so how would you know? It is like a driving school teacher trying to teach students how to drive but has never sat in a car and is afraid to even get it.
Being done with folks is definitely not just in romance. I've told people to hit the bricks, gave them back their crap because I don't want to be reminded of their presence in any way. Out of sight out of mind.
you never had a partner, so how would you know? It is like a driving school teacher trying to teach students how to drive but has never sat in a car and is afraid to even get it.
Put it this way, no guy is going to be too worried about it early on.. or even ask where you got the jewelry. However, if you continue on further in the relationship it might come up and he may or may not be thrilled about it.
I know I wouldn't like it, as you see here some people people don't care at all.
I think it's something you'll just have to gauge as the relationship with whoever that might be progresses. Just because a guy doesn't like it, doesn't mean you "have to dump him for being crazy".
........ something they gave me that is that intimate would say to me I'm not really down with that person and have an attachment to them still.
There is your issue. You mistakenly feels that rings are intimate. Maybe you believe that the guy wore it around on his penis for a couple of weeks before he gave it to her, to imbue it with his magical essence?
Oh wait. Come to think of it, if he wore it around on his penis and it still fit on her finger, you really really should not be jealous.
The only ring I can think of that might be "intimate" would be an engagement ring and very few women wear those. The ring is either given back or sold, not worn. Any other jewelry is just jewelry and worn because she likes it, not because she wishes the ex would come back. You know, using a spell on his magical essence to make him manifest inside a containment circle isn't usually why a woman keeps jewelry.
My husband has never asked about the history of the jewelry I wear. I wear jewelry given to me from many different people in my past. Because I like it.
I still have the engagement and wedding rings from my first marriage, but I don't wear those. I'm keeping them for my son because they were given to me by his father. Maybe he'll want them some day to give to his future wife, or pass them on to his children.
In general, rather than in response to the OP, I think it's a bit disingenuous to deny that a ring is different from a watch or a pin or a picture or even a necklace. Rings are used to symbolically represent an engagement or marriage because they are powerfully symbolic. Their traditional use as physical representations of a union has increased their symbolic power. So there's that.
Then several people seem to be telling a poster or two that he needs to be more open minded, which they then proclaim he can demonstrate by agreeing with their rigid viewpoint OK then.
I have no problem or any real curiosity about the jewelry my partner wears. At this point most of it was a gift from me or a purchase she made since we've been together. She does wear a few things she had when we met. I don't see this as a problem. But other people may feel differently, and that doesn't seem so outrageous to me. Some people's stance on absolutely insisting on wearing jewelry because they like it can be interpreted as quite materialistic. I mean, if it's just a ring, why wear it?
Interesting, how different the views are on this topic. I do think a ring is different (more personal) than a picture or piece of furniture.
I guess I will do this - I will put my ring back on (I took it off) and see what happens.
Its exactly like something you would have bought for yourself, just tell him the name of the jewelry store if it comes to that. You don't think about the giver, and hypothetical-he wont have to either.
Its exactly like something you would have bought for yourself, just tell him the name of the jewelry store if it comes to that. You don't think about the giver, and hypothetical-he wont have to either.
I will tell him it is from my good old friend COSTCO
Why would anyone ask, unless you make it a point to tell them?
Any man who is so insecure that he would not want a date to wear jewelry given to her by anyone else would not get another date from me.
Me too. I have earrings, bracelets, and necklaces from old loves. I had one ring that had an opal but the opal shattered. I keep them all in a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box that one of them made for me, along with all of my other jewelry, and I wear them because I like them and they look nice with my outfits.
It is silly to ask somebody to get rid of something just because an old love gave them to her. Should I get rid of all gifts given to me by old boyfriends? How about pretty, crystal wine glasses from 20 years ago? Books? Music? Clothes? It is all the same to me. Do I think about the men who gave them to me? Sometimes. But I think of them sometimes anyway. This is not because I still care for them. This is because they pop into my mind sometimes. I am sure I pop into their minds sometimes too. So what?
Somebody who will ask you to get rid of these things, it is like can not handle that you had a life before them. Too bad. You cannot erase the past. I would think it strange if somebody had NO gifts or mementos from old loves. This usually means it was a bad break up. I would rather a man think fondly of his old loves than hate all of them or discard them like they are not human. People need to stop being so insecure!
The only exception I can see is lingerie. Then yes that would be personal.
In general, rather than in response to the OP, I think it's a bit disingenuous to deny that a ring is different from a watch or a pin or a picture or even a necklace. Rings are used to symbolically represent an engagement or marriage because they are powerfully symbolic. Their traditional use as physical representations of a union has increased their symbolic power. So there's that.
Then several people seem to be telling a poster or two that he needs to be more open minded, which they then proclaim he can demonstrate by agreeing with their rigid viewpoint OK then.
I have no problem or any real curiosity about the jewelry my partner wears. At this point most of it was a gift from me or a purchase she made since we've been together. She does wear a few things she had when we met. I don't see this as a problem. But other people may feel differently, and that doesn't seem so outrageous to me. Some people's stance on absolutely insisting on wearing jewelry because they like it can be interpreted as quite materialistic. I mean, if it's just a ring, why wear it?
Rings that mean something are engagement rings, wedding rings, what Americans call "promise" rings, Irish Claddagh rings, etc. Otherwise, a ring is a piece of jewelry, maybe a birthday present like my opal was.
What about divorced ladies who have the diamonds from their rings made into other jewelry? Some of my divorced friends did that. They have necklace pendants and had the accent diamonds put into earrings and bracelets. They did this because they did not see the point of selling good diamonds. They turned something sad into something beautiful again. I say good for them!
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OK then.
I keep them all in a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box that one of them made for me, along with all of my other jewelry, and I wear them because I like them and they look nice with my outfits. 
