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He sounds like a normal human who has a great time with someone being invested in something.
You just happen to be informed of what he has talked about to other people concerning you.
I wouldn't freak out over him being infatuated and wanting to make plans because he wants to see things go places with you, That's a GOOD thing.
If this is too much for you too soon and you need someone to move a little slower, that's on you to make it known. Without the exchange of information you're allowing him to control the whole situation by himself.
This is not how cooperative relationships are cultivated, speak up and give him the information he NEEDS to understand you would like things to be handled a little slower.
TBTH: this sounds more like a case of you not being that in to him to me.
I guess I must be from an older generation than you since I really see nothing wrong with him. He seems to be very into you, and that's a good thing for a long-term relationship. Well, he should ask you about whether you'd like to go camping with him in August before telling friends. You may feel the red flag because you may not see him as a long-term prospect. If that's the case, tell him so he can find someone else that would appreciate his committed nature.
Last edited by Nut4sweets; 03-22-2017 at 03:34 PM..
I think he's getting invested a little too quickly. It's only been a month.
If this is making you uncomfortable, say something about it.
Like this: "Hey, don't talk to our common friend about your hopes of being with me in the long run! It makes me uncomfortable that you talk to your/our friends about me."
Like this: "Hey, don't talk to our common friend about your hopes of being with me in the long run! It makes me uncomfortable that you talk to your/our friends about me."
Makes her sound weirder than him.
Not necessarily.
It's one thing to speak with his friends about this gal. It's another thing altogether when this information goes right back to her.
Why in the heck isn't he speaking to her about this stuff?
He probably ran it by the friends to make sure it sounded good before laying it on her. He may care about her enough that he doesn't want to make any missteps.
So I was set up with this guy about a month ago through a mutual friend. He is a really nice guy and we have a lot in common. Only problem is, he basically assumed I was going to be his girlfriend after the first date. After the first date, he texted our friend saying that he wants to take me camping in August. This was in February, so I felt he was jumping the gun. Then after our third date he told our friend that he was "in it for the long haul." I felt that was a bit much after only hanging out with me 3 times. Am I overreacting or is this a red flag?
It is a hallmark of an abuser when they try to rush you into a relationship.
He asked our friend things like: What's her favorite color? What's her favorite meal? At that point our friend flat out told him to ask me, not her.
Yeah, and that's where my own "red flag" would start waving.
Personally, I would have no issues with anything you said at the start, were it not for this information coming through the friend and not said directly to you. Especially the idea about the camping trip.
Obviously, this is all up to you and what you feel comfortable with.
Are you into this guy? Like, if the "middle person" were taken out of it, would you have the same reservations?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by diyosa
I don't get the single posters here. This OP has major prob that the guy seem to be into her. And I read a lot of thread where the female was annoyed their guys are not making plans for the future trip.
And here OP's guy is including her in his future trips and now is a red flag?
Holy sht people that's why you all are single. NOTHING is alright with you. WTF already. Geez louise.
WOW. Sorry I just can't...
I.......can't!
Not after only 3 dates. Dude was calling her his girl after one date. That's crazy!
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Dude was calling her his girl after one date. That's crazy! 
