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If the OP does end up moving in with his girlfriend (which seems like an all-around bad idea,) he should put his bed and his office stuff in one bedroom, she can put her bed and her TV in the other bedroom, and they can be roommates with benefits each having their own private space. Since they'd be moving in with each other out of convenience, that's how it'd end up anyway.
I haven't read through all of the responses, but I'm in a similar situation. I'm moving into my boyfriend's home next month, one he has owned for over 2 years and is completely furnished. So, most of my stuff is being sold except the nicer pieces that I insist on keeping. We are in a stalemate over the bed situation though, he bought a new queen bed last year, I have a king. My bed is not as new but to me it is MUCH more comfortable and let's face it, more bed space is always a good thing! He thinks since his is newer and in his mind expensive (I don't think it was) that it should stay and mine should go. We have both compromised on many issues, and I really don't want to be resentful in the future over something as trivial as a bed, but if I don't sleep well, that's not good for anyone either!
All that to say, I have no words of wisdom, but I do understand your dilemma. My ex also worked from home so I DO get the need for a quiet work place as well.
I haven't read through all of the responses, but I'm in a similar situation. I'm moving into my boyfriend's home next month, one he has owned for over 2 years and is completely furnished. So, most of my stuff is being sold except the nicer pieces that I insist on keeping. We are in a stalemate over the bed situation though, he bought a new queen bed last year, I have a king. My bed is not as new but to me it is MUCH more comfortable and let's face it, more bed space is always a good thing! He thinks since his is newer and in his mind expensive (I don't think it was) that it should stay and mine should go. We have both compromised on many issues, and I really don't want to be resentful in the future over something as trivial as a bed, but if I don't sleep well, that's not good for anyone either!
All that to say, I have no words of wisdom, but I do understand your dilemma. My ex also worked from home so I DO get the need for a quiet work place as well.
Are you okay with living in a place that he furnished? Is he okay with the fact that you probably rearrange some stuff? Do you guys have the same taste?
I will never move into somebody elses place again that he has established and furnished to HIS liking. Plus the vulnerability of possibly getting kicked out is a dealbreaker for me.
I don't really get the bed discussion if you are not overly tall or large, but it seems to be a big deaL to most others, it seems.
Just don't do it man. Keep things as they are. As someone who feels pretty much the same way you do about living alone, it will get on your nerves eventually.
Think about it. She's going to invade your space, may feel compelled to clean up your personal space. One time I came home and she was moving things around and attempting to throw out some of my prized items without even talking to me about it. Plus, she's always going to be there all the damn time and hogging up different parts of the household when you need it. For guys like us, it just doesn't make sense to live with anyone. Don't do it. You're going to regret it.
Are you okay with living in a place that he furnished? Is he okay with the fact that you probably rearrange some stuff? Do you guys have the same taste?
I will never move into somebody elses place again that he has established and furnished to HIS liking. Plus the vulnerability of possibly getting kicked out is a dealbreaker for me.
I don't really get the bed discussion if you are not overly tall or large, but it seems to be a big deaL to most others, it seems.
Yeah, I'm ok with all of his furnishings, everything was bought new just over 2 years ago and he has really good taste, we have the same styles. He is more minimalist than I am (grew up with a career military father & moved a lot), likes almost bare walls where I do like things a little more cozy, but we've resolved those issues.
The bed thing, we are not tall/large, it's more that mine is firmer and I like that, even though his is almost brand new, I always feel like I'm going to roll into the middle of a big crater. I also like to be able to spread out anywhich way without bothering him.
Compromise and tolerance are two important things. Being able to see differences from another's perspective
That's what I learned doing the co-habitation step.
Interestingly enough, even though the relationships didn't work out it helped my performance at work and I learned a lot about myself.
I wish my only problem would have been the choice of bed. I envy you guys.
Trust me, that's just the beginning. There's going to be plenty more once they move in. He doesn't want this. In the title he even says "may". It's not even a sure thing.
Just renew the lease on your current place and continue to live separately. There's so many red flags in this situation, that if you do move in together, the extra bed is going to be the least of your worries.
Going to side with the OP here - why doesn't she put the bed in storage? what's the difference between the bed sitting in the second bedroom vs. sitting in a storage unit since you said neither of you ever have visitors.
if the relationship lasts, you will hopefully one day buy a house with 3 bedrooms and then she can use the bed and not have to buy another one. or the relationship fails and she goes back to her own place and once again can then use the bed. it actually seems like a no-brainer.
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