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I would tend to agree. Men and women both can post skin pics whatever, we're all adults here, just don't be surprised if you draw in more superficial people.
I would also think that men, more so than women would be inclined to make sexual comments if a woman has cleavage hanging out, sometimes a little is fine, but I've seen women on the street with just way too much hanging out.
Men tend to be literal thinkers in this area, lot of skin showing must mean she wants attention. Not an excuse at all, just an observation and I say some men here because believe it or not, not all men are pigs.
Agree. That's the thing, people can make all kinds of assumptions. A girl showing too much can have guys thinking she just wants attention or other girls thinking she is slutty. A guy showing pics with his yatch, cool expensive sports car, etc. Can have some girls thinking she just wants to show off when maybe he is just proud to achieve certain status. Every head is a different world.
The confusion seems to be the rude, violent, aspect of messages that women get. Hostile Lose His Temper Guy ruins the OLD experience. That doesn't mean we have inflated egos... these make up a SIGNIFICANT portion that guys claim make us too picky. There was no logic to suggest that.
Which then turned into '90% showing your boobs and complaining', which now has nothing to do with any of the messages I was complaining about, that's for sure..."I see you're online" "I'd like to crap on your face" is this anything to do with boobs or politics? Is the message being generated b cause of my blouse buttoned to my neck, or no, it's because I'm a sitting duck? It's not my fault that the men I'm complaining about have anti social behavior.
Boob Show should be another thread. (Or 2).
Yes, you're right, it has taken a turn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
There are simple steps to addressing it online or dating sites, but it isn't a dating site issue. It's not a technology issue. It's a cultural issue. These behaviors and attitudes exist outside the medium of the internet. Sure, you can ignore it, but folks should also call out/in people who display these behaviors. This goes for "locker room talk" and "boys will be boys" behavior. It means dudes not giving their asshat friends a pass, because... "they're my buddies."
There are a lot of confused and ill-adjusted "normal" men out there because this behavior can be observed in all walks of life. From the Harvard athlete from an UMC family that upholds "family values," to the family man preacher, to the managers at tech companies. A lot of these men look like normal regular guys from well-respected (conservative) areas and families. It's not like this behavior is only observed in guys who look like Steve Buscemi (he does have a creepy vibe in some movies).
It's not that they need to be educated. They need to be called out. Sure, they may know it's wrong, but they also may not care. And attitudes and behaviors being "wrong," which rely heavily on the social and religious climate, doesn't necessarily deter the thinking behind the behavior. It just makes it harder to get away with.
My husband wouldn't and doesn't put up with that nonsense. He doesn't give it a pass when he hears it, either. It's really not that hard to address these behaviors, any problematic behaviors, in normal, everyday life. I see it, I address it. I've done so on dozens of forums and groups and in-person.
Trust me, I get your point. And, like most women, I'd say, I've experienced it. It's actually a hot button issue with me, believe it or not. But I think, during my lifetime, men are more and more being called out for it (sometimes to the point of ridiculousness), and they should be. But just because they're called out on it, or their buddies tell them it's not cool, that's probably not going to change their own mindset or stop them from going online and anonymously doing it.
Trust me, I get your point. And, like most women, I'd say, I've experienced it. It's actually a hot button issue with me, believe it or not. But I think, during my lifetime, men are more and more being called out for it (sometimes to the point of ridiculousness), and they should be. But just because they're called out on it, or their buddies tell them it's not cool, that's probably not going to change their own mindset or stop them from going online and anonymously doing it.
I get you. I think cultural indifference also contributes to individual mindset. I think shifts in social and cultural dynamics, what's acceptable, what's called out vs. ignored or encouraged, tends to set change in motion before minds, or hearts, are truly changed. Shifts or changes in a culture's ideology -- principles/customs, also effect change that we can see in current generations, and hopefully we'll continue to see progress with future generations. Calling it out and addressing it at least demonstrates the open display of the behavior is unacceptable. People can change their behaviors and mindsets. I've known many who have. Heck, I used to cling to the opposite mindset, and championed my "logic" not unlike some of the comments in this thread.
Change is possible. It takes a whole lot of introspection and soul-searching to do it, but until that happens, it takes little effort to make sure these behaviors aren't given a platform. Those who won't or don't change will hopefully fade into obscurity and irrelevance when folks refuse to put up with their nonsense. Ex: MGTOW and red pill. Yeah, they're there, many are aware they exist in the dark corners of the web, but hopefully they stay that way. Many don't last long here because most don't put up with their antiquated, puritanical, 1950s nonsense.
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