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You must have read a different original post and thread, the one about obese women smashing pizzas and letting themselves go, over at the 'Why Wimmenz Ruin Life' subforum at manosphere blog. None of the events and descriptions you list appear in the OP and they aren't even hyperbole, just some things going on in your own head.
Please stop following me from thread to thread claiming I'm MGTOW, Redpill, or whatever other buzzwords you can think of to debase my opinion. Just because I don't fall in line with your world view does it mean I agree or follow the misogyny of the red pill.
Now that that is out of the way and we can attempt normal conversation.
The pizza was hyperbole. The rest was not. OP has stated that:
-She has "gained a lot of extra weight" after already being "somewhat overweight."
-She won't work out, even with him
-He has tried to cook healthy for them together and reduce sugar, "but she doesn't care about eating healthy."
All of that was in the subsequent posts of the OP.
People in a caring relationship want to get to the bottom of whatever problem. Be it poor bedroom performance or overeating.
People who love one another don't dump on a partner because he/she has gained some weight or developed inappropriate eating habits. They get to the bottom of what's driving this behavior.
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It does not appear that he is dumping on her. He is mentioning it as carefully as he can because the hyenas are waiting for him to slip so they can call him a misogynist superficial pig.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
Sure, people who overeat can be less attractive, but it's really superficial to be with someone, have them gain weight, and just blame whatever problems or deficiencies you have on something like weight gain.
I assume the OP's GF has not gone from supermodel to Jabba the Hutt, so let's not be dramatic.
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I will cede this point, however, I believe that someone gaining "a lot of extra weight" can be an issue itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
He may not like the extra lbs on her, but if he loves her, he'll still be trying to perform reasonably in the bedroom AND trying to sort out how to get her eating healthier and moving more.
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Can't agree here because I highly doubt you would expect a woman to "perform reasonably in the bedroom" if she wasn't feeling her boyfriend or husband, or had a "low libido". All that having no entitlement to sex and such.
Can you imagine the response on here if a guy posted that his girlfriend was not, for whatever reason, "performing" in the bedroom??? This place would go NUCLEAR.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
Maybe she's depressed and needs therapy? I haven't read this whole thread, honestly, I just came across your pattern of bashing this guy's girlfriend and I think it's inappropriate to place the blame solely at her feet.
Maybe she does. And I am NOT just blaming her. They probably have their own problems that are deeper than just weight gain. Especially if both of theirs first relationship. BUT, my issue is the trend of this thread and others like to only blame him for just being superficial and remove any responsibility of the girlfriend in the situation.
Last edited by RedWings18; 04-11-2017 at 02:36 PM..
There is a disconnect somewhere. Please don't replace her with porn. I know it's easier, faster, and you you get to pick a woman your into that day-you'll be disappointed if you start comparing her to those women.
Take sex off the table for now. You each write down 3 fantasies that your interested in and talk about it, flirt with the idea of trying it. Let me know how it goes!
Some quick background: both in late 20s, first relationship for both of us, have been together 3 years, have had some issues (particularly communication issues - I'm not great at sharing everything with her, and she usually shuts down and ignores me) and are currently going to couples counseling (not sure how much progress we've made).
The current issue: we only have sex around once a month. I'm generally not in the mood, for a combination of factors (I hate my job and it's stressful so when I get home I just want to relax; my sex-drive has generally gone down; I feel that the sessions last too long (45-50 minutes) and I get bored in the middle of them; she's gained a bit of weight since we first started dating, and I've lost some physical attraction to her; she has complained about her weight in the past but puts no effort into it, even though I try to encourage her to join me when working out, to eat healthier with me).
Well, last night she asked me why she always has to initiate sex/why we don't have it very often. I told her my sex-drive is generally lower, and thought that it was good to be honest, so I mentioned that I felt sessions were too long. She got incredibly mad right afterwards (my guess is because it came across as me not caring about her pleasure during sex? She's never orgasmed, but I don't believe she ever has on her own either, and I've certainly tried many different things with no success). She stormed off and wasn't willing to talk with me at all last night. I talked with a close friend and he said that next therapy session, we obviously need to discuss this. He also said that I should be fully honest and disclose the other reasons (weight and motivation) even though it might hurt a lot. Does that sound right? The therapy session isn't until the end of the week, how do I handle this before then? I mentioned communication issues above, and it's an issue for both of us.
Can offer more details about the relationship if needed.
Yes. End it.
You are in your twenties, not married, and already going to couples counseling? This does not bode well. You need to cut your losses. And, quite frankly, if you aren't wanting to burn up the sheets with your girlfriend more than once a month now, your sex life will be reduced to birthdays, anniversaries, and maybe the odd holiday.
And what fun is that?
All of this is to say that you're really not that into your girlfriend. Otherwise you'd be taking her on the kitchen table, in the den during a rather boring movie, and twice nightly in the bed. You'd be rocking her world with heart-pounding, headboard-banging, moaning, sweaty, grunting gorilla sex so often that she'd be begging you to leave her alone so she could have one good night's sleep for a change.
By the way, I note that the word 'love' has not crept into this post once. Without love, there is no basis for a long-term relationship.
By the way, I note that the word 'love' has not crept into this post once. Without love, there is no basis for a long-term relationship.
In post #17, he says he loves her. Earlier, he also mentions that he wants to see a therapist for himself, for his "issues", whatever they are (besides the anxiety he mentions). I think there may be a variety of issues contributing to the problem, some of which may be personal to the OP. I wonder at what point did the OP's libido fizzle; after the gf gained weight, or earlier, due to foreplay he'd lose interest in, or some other factor? I wonder if his anxiety plays a role? I think there's more going on here than we're able to address.
The current issue:she's gained a bit of weight since we first started dating, and I've lost some physical attraction to her; she has complained about her weight in the past but puts no effort into it, even though I try to encourage her to join.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWings18
Please stop following me from thread to thread claiming I'm MGTOW, Redpill, or whatever other buzzwords you can think of to debase my opinion. Just because I don't fall in line with your world view does it mean I agree or follow the misogyny of the red pill.
Now that that is out of the way and we can attempt normal conversation.
The pizza was hyperbole. The rest was not. OP has stated that:
-She has "gained a lot of extra weight" after already being "somewhat overweight."
-She won't work out, even with him
-He has tried to cook healthy for them together and reduce sugar, "but she doesn't care about eating healthy."
All of that was in the subsequent posts of the OP.
Read what the OP wrote, then read the made up words you are repeating over and over.
The projection of negative views on women by inserting your own adjectives cancels out 'normal conversation'.
(just stick to the facts on the topic and you'll get along with others much better).
That's a good point. I do wish I could get her to orgasm so we can both be satisfied.
She's always been a little overweight, and I've been fine with that. It's just that in the past year or so she's gained a fairly large amount of extra weight. She's even mentioned it herself. I think I posted in the original post that I've tried to get her to join the gym when I go a couple times a week, but she never wants to. And I try to make healthier meals for myself, and cut out things like sugar, but she doesn't really care about eating healthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
Read what the OP wrote, then read the made up words you are repeating over and over.
The projection of negative views on women by inserting your own adjectives cancels out 'normal conversation'.
(just stick to the facts on the topic and you'll get along with others much better).
Maybe read the thread before you accuse people of making things up.
Maybe read the thread before you accuse people of making things up.
Ok, if you prefer hyperbole.
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