they did not tell you... (marriage, women, husband, children)

[medicineman]

you are married, and you are not feeling you best. then you receive the worst news imagined. your parnter has... aids, or herpes, or another std. what would you do? file for divorce? hurt them?

[momlady530]

Originally Posted by medicineman

you are married, and you are not feeling you best. then you receive the worst news imagined. your parnter has... aids, or herpes, or another std. what would you do? file for divorce? hurt them?

If hubby ended up with an STD what would I do? Kick him in his sensitive regions. Take every last cent he has. Oh no, that is a big fat no-no in this house. I could maybe get over an affair (maybe, though not likely), but I could not get over the fact that he put my children's father"s life at risk. Not to mention mine. Did I mention beat the crap out of him?

[Beth56]

Some of these things can take years to show up, could be 3-20 years. And some have no known test, i.e. HPV for men. And some people are carriers with no symptoms. Even though this doesn't ease the situation, I would be careful with accusations, unless you have been married for at least 25+ years.

[Metlakatla]

Did I mention beat the crap out of him?

You know, if a man were to make that statement on this board...well, the fur would surely be flying by now.

[sanspeur]

Originally Posted by Metlakatla

You know, if a man were to make that statement on this board...well, the fur would surely be flying by now.

Boy would it ever! Double standard maybe?

[medicineman]

Originally Posted by Beth56

Some of these things can take years to show up, could be 3-20 years. And some have no known test, i.e. HPV for men. And some people are carriers with no symptoms. Even though this doesn't ease the situation, I would be careful with accusations, unless you have been married for at least 25+ years.

true somethings take time, and some sicknesses show in 30 days. however you want to take it... you are married, still on honeymoon, and you find out, through, you see a note sticking out of his/ her bag. you find their medicine, they tell you are the fact, they knew before getting with you and now you could/might/ have it. more than that, you do have it... what would you do?

[momlady530]

Originally Posted by Metlakatla

You know, if a man were to make that statement on this board...well, the fur would surely be flying by now.

I know, I know. Bad momlady! But yes, I'd still probably try to hurt him.

[Tzaphkiel]

no, it's not the other person's fault, it's your own fault

so I would kick myself for not taking precautions and looking after my own health

can't blame another person for this

ulitmately it is your own personal responsibility to practice and ensure safe sex, it is too important an issue, too dire of consequences to place that risk and task in someone else's care...it's like pregnancy for women, can't blame the guy if we don't take proper steps for contraception, whatever that involves.

[Beth56]

Originally Posted by medicineman

true somethings take time, and some sicknesses show in 30 days. however you want to take it... you are married, still on honeymoon, and you find out, through, you see a note sticking out of his/ her bag. you find their medicine, they tell you are the fact, they knew before getting with you and now you could/might/ have it. more than that, you do have it... what would you do?

There is a great deal of trust involved when you decide to marry. I would hope that these things would have been disclosed prior to being intimate so precautions could be in place should you decide to go forth. If this was something my groom did not discuss prior to the marriage and I found out the way you described, then my trust would be lost. I would be angered and afraid for my health due to their lack of honesty for whatever reason. Depending on how serious the disease and the reasons I was not told, might make a difference in what I decide. I don't know if we could work it out. Being honest with each other is a big part of a relationship. But if we are talking AID's, my next step would be with an attorney. To think that someone is knowingly spreading their deadly disease without any consideration for others is a crime they should be punished for.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her new husband gave her genital warts. His reason for not telling her, he was afraid of losing her. So now they are both infected. They were able to work through this, but had it been a disease that was life threatening, I doubt their marriage would have survived.

[Twinkle Toes]

Yeah, if someone did that to me it would be time to bust a cap in his ass. If ever there was an appropriate time for cap bustin' this would be it, cuz if I'm going down with some blazing STD - he's going down too.