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Honestly, I'd be more concerned about ^^^ than anything else you've said.
Your guy doesn't want his golfing excursions interfered with by his son visiting? Eep.
Yeah, that's pretty huge. A four-year-old wants to spend time with his Dad, and his Dad can certainly schedule golf outings for the days when he doesn't have custody.
Oh, and he also has a 4 year old from a previous marriage that will come over and yet many times he will tell me to play with and take care of him while he goes out with his buddies golfing or says doing something else.
Thanks for the advice. I don't pay but not because I don't want to, I have offered several times and he just says don't worry about it. He also spends a lot of time in his office and likes to text me to bring him a drink or snack or something. He does spend time with his kid but I would say the majority of the time he is doing something else and says it's ok you get along great with him.
Thanks for the advice. I don't pay but not because I don't want to, I have offered several times and he just says don't worry about it. He also spends a lot of time in his office and likes to text me to bring him a drink or snack or something. He does spend time with his kid but I would say the majority of the time he is doing something else and says it's ok you get along great with him.
As long as you don't pay - you have no rights and nothing to stand on.
He wants service instead of money.
You either need to tell him you NEED pay your share and then you are no longer his servant.
Or don't pay and be his lover/cook/maid/nanny.
You cannot not pay and not do anything. That's not how it works.
On second reading, I will also take back (at least temporarily) my questioning of the post that called him a not-so-nice guy.
OP, did he really say "well isn't that the kind of stuff most women do?" when you questioned him about what he wanted? (Not that I don't believe you, but the actual wording is important here.) What that question says to me is that he has some notions of "what women should be doing", and that would raise some concerns for me.
Yes, some women do this in their relationships. But, there is a big difference between someone saying, "yes, I want to be in a relationship where my female partner does this" and saying, "yup, this is what women should be doing". The first recognizes the choice of the woman involved, and the second indicates that there may very well be some internalized sexism going on.
If it were me, I'd be asking more questions and (IMO more importantly) listening to him and observing his interactions with women. At the end of the day, obviously, the choice will be up to you whether to continue with this guy or not, but if I were in your shoes, I'd be looking very hard as to whether, to put it bluntly, he has any respect at all for you as an individual and what you bring to the relationship.
On second reading, I will also take back (at least temporarily) my questioning of the post that called him a not-so-nice guy.
OP, did he really say "well isn't that the kind of stuff most women do?" when you questioned him about what he wanted? (Not that I don't believe you, but the actual wording is important here.) What that question says to me is that he has some notions of "what women should be doing", and that would raise some concerns for me.
Yes, some women do this in their relationships. But, there is a big difference between someone saying, "yes, I want to be in a relationship where my female partner does this" and saying, "yup, this is what women should be doing". The first recognizes the choice of the woman involved, and the second indicates that there may very well be some internalized sexism going on.
If it were me, I'd be asking more questions and (IMO more importantly) listening to him and observing his interactions with women. At the end of the day, obviously, the choice will be up to you whether to continue with this guy or not, but if I were in your shoes, I'd be looking very hard as to whether, to put it bluntly, he has any respect at all for you as an individual and what you bring to the relationship.
one of the few times I fully agree.
Nothing wrong with serving your partner.
Alot wrong with demanding it.
And texting from the office that she has to bring food? WTF? I am old fashioned and even that is too much for me.
And texting from the office that she has to bring food? WTF? I am old fashioned and even that is too much for me.
Nothing wrong with it, if that's what they've agreed on.
But, of course, they first need to come to an actual agreement on what this relationship is going to look like.
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