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Honestly I do not know any gay or lesbian who does not directly ask if whomever they have an interest in is gay or lesbian. I have always thanked the ladies for the compliment and gracefully declined their invitation. They have always said okay but if you change your mind let me know.
I'm not sure why this non issue is an issue but I wonde if there is more than one level of assumptions going on.
How does one tell if they were *almost* looked at with bedroom eyes? What are bedroom eyes exactly?
what are bedroom eyes when a man looks at a woman that way...they would be the same thing coming from a woman.
Let's just for arguments sake....give me the benefit of knowing when I am and am not being hit on...you know being 48 years old....let's just say I know when that's happening.
My question was....how to tell someone who has assumed without directly asking, that I am not interested.
And as to whether they are lesbian or not....well there are women who call themselves straight and yet have intimate encounters with other women....so whether they are lesbian or 'straight' and looking for a fling with another woman is not my concern either....
my concern is how to best and unequivocally thwart unwanted and unprovoked advances from other women....whatever they call themselves.
what are bedroom eyes when a man looks at a woman that way...they would be the same thing coming from a woman.
Good grief, one cannot *almost* look at someone that way, but I personally find the phrase *bedroom eyes* a wish myth on the side of the lookee not the looker.
What is so hard about saying: I'm not interested? It could become awkward if your assumptions are wrong about someone being a lesbian....
Anyway, your choice to say nothing or figure out how to use your 48 years of life experience to handle this situation.
Let's just for arguments sake....give me the benefit of knowing when I am and am not being hit on...you know being 48 years old....let's just say I know when that's happening.
My question was....how to tell someone who has assumed without directly asking, that I am not interested.
And as to whether they are lesbian or not....well there are women who call themselves straight and yet have intimate encounters with other women....so whether they are lesbian or 'straight' and looking for a fling with another woman is not my concern either....
my concern is how to best and unequivocally thwart unwanted and unprovoked advances from other women....whatever they call themselves.
So - just out of curiosity - do men ever hit on you? Do you mind? Do you get as flustered as when women hit on you? Why or why not?
Either you're putting out lesbian vibes....or EVERYONE is attracted to you because you're so friendly and attractive. Or...women aren't really hitting on you but you're extremely paranoid about it. How can anyone "almost" have bedroom eyes?
Methinks the lady doth protest too much - if someone doesn't SAY they are interested, don't assume it and don't get in a huff. They may wonder if YOU'RE interested since you seem to be watching their every move so closely!
Let's just for arguments sake....give me the benefit of knowing when I am and am not being hit on...you know being 48 years old....let's just say I know when that's happening.
My question was....how to tell someone who has assumed without directly asking, that I am not interested.
And as to whether they are lesbian or not....well there are women who call themselves straight and yet have intimate encounters with other women....so whether they are lesbian or 'straight' and looking for a fling with another woman is not my concern either....
my concern is how to best and unequivocally thwart unwanted and unprovoked advances from other women....whatever they call themselves.
Many people will still approach the same gender on the off chance regardless of whether you've given them an indication that you're gay/lesbian or not.
What do you tell blokes that have wrongly assumed you are interested when they've asked you out or chat you up?
I don't see the problem in telling anyone you're simply just not interested?
Used to happen fairly often to me when I lived in a city that was very gay-friendly. I'm gay friendly too, so no biggie to me. I was never offended by it. A simple, "thanks, but I'm not interested" or "thanks, but I don't bat for that team" should be more than sufficient.
Re; the women at work. Are you sure they just aren't being friendly? After all lesbians have straight friends too. You say they know you have a male fiance. Why would they try to come onto you if they know you're straight? I mean, unless you're so irresistible that they simply can't help themselves My money is on they're just being nice to you, not romantically nice, just simple, everyday nice & you're reading something into it, that's not there.
Even when I lived in a city where it used to happen "often" & I was really hot when I was young, that "often" was still just a few times a year. It seems a little odd that lesbians are coming out of the woodwork to hit on you, when you're straight. I think for the most part, you're misconstruing attempts at friendliness.
ETA: You also say "I work in Austin, TX", which sounds to me like maybe you don't live there? Maybe you're a consultant from out of town or something? If so, they are probably trying to be extra friendly b/c they know you're not from there & probably don't have any local friends. I used to travel a LOT, every week for 10 years & sometimes clients, knowing I was from out of town, would invite me places in the evenings. It was just a friendly gesture, nothing more.
Let's just for arguments sake....give me the benefit of knowing when I am and am not being hit on...you know being 48 years old....let's just say I know when that's happening.
My question was....how to tell someone who has assumed without directly asking, that I am not interested.
And as to whether they are lesbian or not....well there are women who call themselves straight and yet have intimate encounters with other women....so whether they are lesbian or 'straight' and looking for a fling with another woman is not my concern either....
my concern is how to best and unequivocally thwart unwanted and unprovoked advances from other women....whatever they call themselves.
Good for you OP!!!
I'm 48 as well and I only get the 'Creepy old guy' comments at me.
You should embrace it and count your blessing you are still attractive.
I'm with what others have said, you are probably missing friendliness with lesbianess.
Honestly I do not know any gay or lesbian who does not directly ask if whomever they have an interest in is gay or lesbian. I have always thanked the ladies for the compliment and gracefully declined their invitation. They have always said okay but if you change your mind let me know.
Exactly! Esp if they know you're into men. In my experience, they'll usually say to me "I know you like guys, but do you play with women too"? Like you, I've said, "Sorry, no, but thanks for asking".
All I see in OP's case, is a bunch of women being friendly. Though I'm straight, I have a ton of bi friends & several lesbian friends, but I've never assumed that b/c they were being nice to me, that their interest was sexual. Most lesbian women who have been sexually interested in me, have come right out & asked me if I play with women or made it very clear what they wanted, one said "I could show you things that you've never even dreamed of" :-) It was an unmistakable come on My point is in my experience, they are very clear & forward, esp if they know you like men. No beating around the bush (NPI).
Let's just for arguments sake....give me the benefit of knowing when I am and am not being hit on...you know being 48 years old....let's just say I know when that's happening.
My question was....how to tell someone who has assumed without directly asking, that I am not interested.
And as to whether they are lesbian or not....well there are women who call themselves straight and yet have intimate encounters with other women....so whether they are lesbian or 'straight' and looking for a fling with another woman is not my concern either....
my concern is how to best and unequivocally thwart unwanted and unprovoked advances from other women....whatever they call themselves.
I understand.
It is not that much of a deal as long as they back off saying no and otherwise respect boundaries.
But the problem is when they don't take no for an answer.
If you are wondering how to prevent unwanted advances. The truth is that there really is no way to prevent unwanted advances.
The best way to handle them is by saying no in a polite way, and if they persist, then let others know because that is when it becomes harassment.
I'm not gonna say "take it as a compliment" because I understand when it stops being a compliment and more of a violation of your rights.
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My money is on they're just being nice to you, not romantically nice, just simple, everyday nice & you're reading something into it, that's not there. 
