On wheels but the women aren't interested in dating, please explain... (friends, romantic)
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Many people in wheelchairs are incredibly fit. They just can't use their legs or stand. I have a friend whose running buddy (they do marathons and half marathons together) is in a wheelchair. Her friend is far more dedicated a runner than she is, but she has to use her arms to maneuver the wheelchair for 13.1 miles or 26.2 miles. She has very well developed arms and torso.
Ok, I'm a 48 yr old disabled Navy Veteran who is wheelchair bound. I can still move my legs somewhat and everything works, I just cannot stand or walk. Yet whenever I try to ask a woman out for a date or even just dinner, I am shot down or even told " What do I want with half a man?". I don't think I'm that bad looking, before I was disabled I never had a problem getting a date and more! So what's up ladies, isn't a man in a wheelchair worth dating? I'm very outgoing and self sufficient, so what's up?
They probably just don't want to deal with your disability. Some people don't want to deal with a partner that's not fully functional others can't mentally or physically deal with it. Sucks that they aren't willing to give it a shot, but not everyone is Florence Nightingale.
Good luck man. Have you tried doing online? Not sure if it's gonna get better. . Maybe try websites that are geared towards disabled people.
What about people such as myself who are born with their disability and know no other way to live and so are well adjusted to our lifestyle. Are we undateable/unmarryable what have you?
What about that?
nope, not undateable/unmarryable/whathaveyou if you are fun to be around and nice.
But if you are a whiner/complainer, you will be undateable.
nope, not undateable/unmarryable/whathaveyou if you are fun to be around and nice.
But if you are a whiner/complainer, you will be undateable.
Well for the record, I'm always fun to be around and nice. And I don't whine or complain about my disability. Alot of us aren't. Sometimes I think you "normals" just use that as an excuse not to be with us.
Well for the record, I'm always fun to be around and nice. And I don't whine or complain about my disability. Alot of us aren't. Sometimes I think you "normals" just use that as an excuse not to be with us.
No one needs an excuse to not want to date someone, it's a personal choice.
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Heh. You might think differently if you'd heard some of the beauties I have.
I'm so sorry about that, there is no excuse for behavior like that.
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No one needs an excuse to not want to date someone, it's a personal choice.
You're right. Do you think it feels different, though, when a high % of people make the same personal choice? On an individual basis, no one is obligated to step outside their comfort zone to date someone. But I would understand that from the perspective of someone with a trait that very few people see as within their comfort zone, never mind attractive, those personal choices can seem to accumulate. Viewed through the frustration that might understandably grow from those people's personal choices, the person with the unpopular trait might start to feel like a victim. Feeling like a victim is no way to live, but we know this because most of us feel like a victim at least a few times in our lives. It happens. If tomorrow no one felt like a victim, we'd have a lot of unemployed therapists and shuttered liquor stores.
I guess my point is that if I don't want to date a woman who is religious, I'm sending her off to find one of many religious men who might be glad to date her. I pass on a woman who hates sports, she hasn't wasted time on me and she can pursue one of the many men who hate or at least have no special love for sports. But if I don't want to date a woman with neurofibromatosis (hopefully rare enough that no one reading has this) I'm likely joining the vast majority of men who make that same personal choice. I could understand if my "no" felt to her like a threat to her hearing a yes. That feeling might not reflect reality, or it might, but running with that unhelpful feeling is also hardly novel.
I'm making a personal choice in each case, but the consequences of my choice is similar and likely negligible in the first two instances, but not so in the third. Doesn't obligate me to choose differently in any case, but all such choices are not equal.
Your whole post was spot on, but it doesn't change anything. So it sucks even more.
Before you think me a heartless wench (or confirms your suspicions ), my husband was injured for the first two years of our marriage, physically limited, mentally limited by the high dose of painkillers.... it was horrible and at that time we thought maybe permanent. Finally healed and he went and broke another bone within 6 mos.
Of course I stood by him, but wouldn't have STARTED dating him in that shape.
In addition, people with disabilities can be jerks too, we don't know them in real life, it could be other reasons why they are having problems dating (lord knows there are enough able bodied complainers here).
While I sympathize, sympathy is not going to move them forward to solve their problems. There is no excuse for the rudeness they have experienced... that is sub-human.
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