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As title states, is it possible for husband and wife to live in different states? Say husband/wife/kid live in a state where one of the spouses hates the state they currently live in (ie. weather with constant rain). One spouse stays, and other spouse moves to a warmer state with the kid.
Been done before? Does it work out? Disaster in the making?
I think it can work for some people. It would not work for me. Out of sight, out of mind - and I'd find someone else if my spouse "abandoned" me this way.
I know couple that have been married for over 30 years and have 2 adult children. Both are in academics and well respected in their fields. She was presented with a very good opportunity in another state, and he wasn't yet ready to retire from a tenured position, so they have been living apart in separate cities for the past few years. They travel back and forth a lot and/or meet in various locations and see each other frequently.
I can't imagine doing this, but as their daughter mentioned to me once, "it works for them". They have a wonderful relationship and a rock solid marriage. Maybe the strength in their relationship is why they felt comfortable with such an arrangement for a few years.
As title states, is it possible for husband and wife to live in different states? Say husband/wife/kid live in a state where one of the spouses hates the state they currently live in (ie. weather with constant rain). One spouse stays, and other spouse moves to a warmer state with the kid.
Been done before? Does it work out? Disaster in the making?
Military families sometimes do it under various circumstances. It's called geobaching, and isn't typically a permanent situation. It also can quite commonly put significant stress on marriages and families.
I've also known of academic couples who did it (mostly people without kids). One of my music professors was married to another music professor on the faculty of a conservatory several states away. They would make a point to spend one weekend a month together, and did so for years.
My wife and I lived 70 miles apart for 6 years after we married. Neither one of us could afford to leave the job we had. Plus she was taking care of her sick mother and I wanted to spend time with my sons, living in the same town with their mother.
We took turns going to each other's homes on weekends.
This deal for you two will work only if you want it to. It's hard at times but "doable"
I have friends who are married, live in the same city, but in separate houses. They both just don't have the desire to share a residence 100 percent of the time, but are committed to each other. Whatever works. I also have a relative who has been with the same woman for about 20 years, but they live in different cities, see each other a few times a month for a few weeks at a time.
As title states, is it possible for husband and wife to live in different states? Say husband/wife/kid live in a state where one of the spouses hates the state they currently live in (ie. weather with constant rain). One spouse stays, and other spouse moves to a warmer state with the kid.
Been done before? Does it work out? Disaster in the making?
I understand when families have to live separately because there are little to no other options but living in separate states simply because of a like/dislike of the location and especially because there is a child involved, I think is pretty selfish (assuming all other aspects of the marriage are satisfactory).
I mean we're not talking about living across town or an hour away where you can still come to Jr's tee-ball game or help Sissy with her homework on a Tuesday night.
How do you and your spouse feel about separating your child from one of his/her parents for long lengths of time? How does the one parent feel about missing out on significant portions of the child's life?
There has to be a compromise - for the child.
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