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OP, if being a SAHM is your vision of happiness and fulfilling life's purpose, you're with the wrong guy. How is this not obvious? Logically, since you're the one with a well-paying job and a career, he should be the SAHD.. There's nothing wrong with that. Kids need their dad, too. And as a working mom, you'd be a great role model for your kids, especially girls.
Just leave. 30 seems a bit too old for someone to develop new habits and work ethics. Not saying it's impossible but sometimes we can't change our nature.
For some reason I can't help but think the guy must be quite handsome for you to consider hanging on to him. I've read a few threads about women being interested in men who aren't the right fit for them but just hang around because they are so good-looking. I wonder if this the case.
Staying with him doesn't mean you're being foolish or weak.
Leaving him doesn't mean you're shallow or strong.
It's simply a choice you have to make.
+1.
You two don't share compatible life and family goals. If these are important to you, which it seems like they are, it makes sense to factor them into your criteria for a long term partner. Decide whether you're willing to see if your life goals (family/parenting dynamics, financial/career outlook) can reach a point of compatibility, or if it's ultimately best to go your separate ways. I think forcing it, resigning yourself to accepting these incompatibilities, will eventually lead to resentment, frustration, disappointment, etc.
You marry a person for who they are. Lots of marriages where women make more then the man.
Either you are okay with that or you are not.
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He's not the one for you. Move on. People who make bad financial decisions usually do not change. If he has no drive or ambition that is not likely to change either. What you see is what you get is a good rule to follow. Don't make the mistake of thinking someone is going to change.
You should leave him for his sake. You want a provider and he's not going to become that. Don't make him miserable by trying to force him to be something he's not.
Bingo! My sister is trying to get her boyfriend to get a better job so that he can contribute the same amount or more than she is already doing. Good luck with that. He is doing the best that he can and its unlikely that he will be the bread winner that she wants. Truth be told, I like him much better than my sister so I told him to kick her to the curb and find a woman who will appreciate him for what he is. In an alternate universe, I'd snatch him up in a minute if he were gay. An all around solid guy.
OP, if being a SAHM is your vision of happiness and fulfilling life's purpose, you're with the wrong guy. How is this not obvious? Logically, since you're the one with a well-paying job and a career, he should be the SAHD.. There's nothing wrong with that. Kids need their dad, too. And as a working mom, you'd be a great role model for your kids, especially girls.
If you can't stomach that idea, move on.
That would be logical if he wanted to be a SAHD but in the OP, she states that he doesn't want that option. However, it is her dream that she would resent giving up. I'm pretty surprised that some posters here (not you Ruth4Truth) are calling her "shallow and self-centered" for the crime of wanting to care for her own children.
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