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We are pretty much always interacting. Pausing the TV to discuss something, we can be sitting reading our phones, but discussing the stuff we are reading. Sometimes there is comfortable silence, which is nice too.
And that's exactly what I had envisioned most healthy relationships were like. There's probably times where one is occupied with something and there's some silence, I figure. Whether it's something for work that they have to do at home or one is watching a TV show/sporting event that the other couldn't care less about.
Well, in all fairness, one issue that the original post does bring to mind is that what is "excessive" is highly, highly subjective.
Just by definition, labeling something as "excessive" denotes (to me) it has hit an intolerable level.
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I have a question for those of you who are in long term relationships (like 2+ years or more) and definitely those who are married. Maybe this question is better for a whole separate thread altogether.
When you're sitting in the living room at night with your partner or wherever you sit, do you constantly talk to each other? Or are you quiet and only say a few things to each other in the span of an hour? I'm getting the idea from some of these posts and those who say they prefer someone that doesn't talk a lot, that they are quiet and not constantly in conversation with their partner.
When we're in the living room hanging around at night, we usually are always talking, unless we're watching a movie or a show or I have a hockey game on that I actually care about. Like tonight, I brought home food from a place we usually order from on Monday night's and I watched my DVR'd Supercross event from Saturday night. We talked a lot during it, because I'm not too fanatical about Supercross like I am hockey. When hockey is on, I usually don't talk unless it's a commercial break or intermission or something that happens in the game. However, that's only when my favorite team is on or a team I care about. I've been watching hockey every night with the playoffs going on, but I don't care about any of these teams, so I'm fine with having a conversation throughout the games.
Do a lot of you sit in the living room, one of you watching the TV, the other on their tablet or laptop or reading a book/magazine during the evening and just saying a few things back and forth? I'm generally curious here. I've only been in two really serious relationships and both of them are with women who I can talk to all day and night. There's some points where I'd like to have some quiet time, like when laying in bed and trying to fall asleep or during the hockey game of a team I really care about or during a TV show or movie, where we have to kinda pay attention to follow what's going on. How about during long car rides? Do you just sit there and one reads or something, while the other drives? I'm generally interested here.
We're mostly interacting. We both have our individual routines where we get our quiet time, as well. We have a toddler, so that occurs during the hours he sleeps, mostly. I'm a night owl, so after my husband falls asleep, I'm usually awake reading. Husband is an early riser, and cherishes his quiet early mornings, so he gets up and makes coffee and reads. If I wake up, I tend to stay upstairs and give him that solo recharge time. He also has his morning run where he listens to audiobooks.
But if we're both up and in the same space, we're usually talking. Even if we have a show on, etc. Road trips, train trips, etc., we're mostly talking. If we're reading side by side, we're always discussing what we are reading. When there is silence, it is comfortable, but it is pretty frequently punctuated by interaction.
Another key thing is that my husband is military, and will at times be on exercises where we may not get the opportunity for ultra-frequent, easy communication. So when we're together, we're typically interacting.
We're mostly interacting. We both have our individual routines where we get our quiet time, as well. We have a toddler, so that occurs during the hours he sleeps, mostly. I'm a night owl, so after my husband falls asleep, I'm usually awake reading. Husband is an early riser, and cherishes his quiet early mornings, so he gets up and makes coffee and reads. If I wake up, I tend to stay upstairs and give him that solo recharge time. He also has his morning run where he listens to audiobooks.
But if we're both up and in the same space, we're usually talking. Even if we have a show on, etc. Road trips, train trips, etc., we're mostly talking. If we're reading side by side, we're always discussing what we are reading. When there is silence, it is comfortable, but it is pretty frequently punctuated by interaction.
Another key thing is that my husband is military, and will at times be on exercises where we may not get the opportunity for ultra-frequent, easy communication. So when we're together, we're typically interacting.
I'm glad to hear this.
By some of the posts in here, I was envisioning a lot of people to be sitting in the same room with their spouse/partner and barely exchanging a few words every hour haha. Most night's I use an exercise bike for an hour or sometimes two and she'll come in there and talk to me. Once in a while, she'll go to sleep before I even do that, which is fine too. We have no kids yet, so we're at a point where we can sit around and just enjoy the time with each other exclusively during our time at home.
I have a friend and his grandparents had like two living rooms in their house and one would watch TV in the one and the other would watch TV in the other. I'm sure they're relationship was fine and I'm sure they sat with each other a lot, they just liked watching different things.
The one show that she loves to watch, which I won't do is Grey's Anatomy. So our deal is whenever that's on and my hockey game comes on at the same time, she can either DVR it and watch it after my game is over on the living room TV or she can watch it in the bedroom or in the exercise room.
Right, and everyone has a different threshold for that.
For me, there is no level of interaction with my spouse that comes anywhere near any thing I'd describe as an intolerable level.
I would think so.
If it were intolerable you'd probably be headed for divorce. This would seem to be common sense 101 here. If Mrs. Chow was intolerable to me I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have made it 25 years. LOL.
I've never found someone that I was truly in love with to talk too much or talk too little.
I've also never gotten sick of their presence.
I was recently on a date with a woman I'm falling for. On this date she talked A Lot. I could barely get in a 'uh huh'. It didn't bother me because I wanted to know what's going on in her life and also if she'll blab something that she didn't mean to. Also, I love her voice.
But, I'm left wondering if she talked so much because she was nervous or self conscious about making a good impression or something else.
As she drank more wine her voice went from being sweet and soft to getting louder. I love that her personality is social but it gets a tad embarrassing when she gets louder than every one else after a few drinks.
Maybe she was just nervous and talked in an attempt to not appear nervous on our date. I don't know.
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This would seem to be common sense 101 here. If Mrs. Chow was intolerable to me I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have made it 25 years. LOL.
