If someone says, "You make me happy"... (guy, family, friends)
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what would you think, or how would you feel? I thought it was really sweet, and probably the greatest thing any guy I dated had ever said to me, because unlike telling you how pretty or great you are, it actually implies some feeling, about how you make them feel...like they actually like you and want you around (hopefully...lol). But I also know that you're not supposed to think someone else can make you happy, or want to find someone to "make you happy", because no one else can make you happy, and thinking like that will only lead to unhappiness, because you'll always be looking for someone else that's going to make you happy, and after the initial excitement, realize you're still the same person and still unhappy, so you look for someone else...which is why I didn't really say anything, because I don't really think like that and don't think I felt the same. I liked him and thought he was great in a lot of ways, but thinking about it, I don't know if I was any happier overall...maybe some, but idk. Maybe because I've always been so introverted and independent...idk.
So what do you think? Am I just dense, and that's how you're supposed to feel? Or was I right?
I'd be very wary of someone who couldn't make themselves happy and relied on me to do it for them. Self-esteem is a wonderful thing.
That's kind of what I thought...whether it's someone or something, thinking that's going to make you happy is detrimental. Which is something I learned myself. I would say it's more a self-reliance thing, than self-esteem, at least for me, since I'm independent and need my time and space.
He also made a couple other comments about how he didn't smoke as much when I was around, because I made his anxiety or whatever go away...lol. Which I also thought was sweet and was flattered by, but also sort of wary. Like, you're going to replace smoking with me? um ok...let's see how that works out...lol.
Someone can cause you to feel happiness, which is usually what people mean by "You make me happy."
That's a decidedly different animal than someone counting on you for all their happiness in life, however. Healthy people derive happiness from a multitude of things, and don't look exclusively to a partner to provide it.
No one can "make" another person happy. Relationships are merely icing on the cake of life that each person should already have mixed snd baked for themselves.
... But I also know that you're not supposed to think someone else can make you happy, or want to find someone to "make you happy", because no one else can make you happy, and thinking like that will only lead to unhappiness, because you'll always be looking for someone else
...Maybe because I've always been so introverted and independent...idk.
So what do you think? Am I just dense, and that's how you're supposed to feel? Or was I right?
I know I'm not dense, and I know someone who makes me feel happy when I think of them, or they just text me because they're thinking of me. I see their message and feel happy. If they were out of my life, yeah I probably would look elsewhere, not because I'm 'addicted' or dense, but because it's really nice when it happens.
I've never questioned that feeling, and I don't worry about how I'm supposed to feel.
I think you should be flattered that you make him feel this way.
Someone can cause you to feel happiness, which is usually what people mean by "You make me happy."
That's a decidedly different animal than someone counting on you for all their happiness in life, however. Healthy people derive happiness from a multitude of things, and don't look exclusively to a partner to provide it.
This. Very few are just happy w/o cause or reason. We all have things in life we enjoy, and thus it brings us happiness to engage.
Now, if they said "I have been unhappy for a long time, and you're the only thing that brings me joy" THEN you may need to worry a bit.
Far as anxiety, that's something many suffer from. And like stated above, there's things that can make it better. Being with a partner, or friends + family. A certain activity. Some do arts and crafts. Some exercise, etc.
And sometimes things and life are in fact better with the right company. Like sex. You could pleasure yourself, but I don't think many would deny having another person is better. lol
So, again if you hear someone say "You make me happy", take it as a compliment. Don't automatically think that they're saying you are their whole world and they are dependent on you. Comes off a tad presumptuous.
Last edited by HappyRain; 04-25-2017 at 01:36 AM..
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