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If you are half way as intense with him as you are on here, he feels pressure. Why even ask to come over and see him when you just had a vacation together? Can you not just be for a bit? If I were to guess I would guess he knows you are high maintenance so felt guilty and that is why he invited you over when he didn't feel like it.
It sounds like you have no life outside of this guy and he is your entire focus. It's not healthy.
You need to stop the insanity here. The poor guy just asked for some alone time.
How long should I give him until I should reach out? I'm thinking tomorrow night or Saturday morning, latest
The timeline sounds good to me. Personally, I know my relationship best (not people on the internet making assumptions) and if I felt there was something amiss, I would address it, intermediately, regardless, if I think its bad news. My significant other could very well take a month to a year to "think about it" if I was to give that person "time".
And you state he has these moods every few months?
Maybe he needs to recharge his battery from the weekend. Some people get mentally exhausted from being around each other for a few days.
I just don't understand what happened and am very confused. Every other month or so, he goes through these weird mood changes where he's super quiet, wants to be left alone, and doesn't have much to say.
I know he's not cheating, I don't think it's anything like that. But do you think that it has something to do with me or is it something else going on with him in his life? I'm just worried.
Very likely the latter. Ask him if he wants to talk about it. Most men don't, until they get to the zombie stage. Focus on him not yourself.
Based on this and your other thread, the signs all point to your bf having some type of depression. You're going to have to accept the fact that his depression has nothing to do with you. For someone who suffers from depression, being around people and having to be switched on, putting on a fake smile, and pretending like everything is ok is exhausting and very draining. No wonder he needs to be on his own immediately after a trip. You may have had a good time, but you can't even imagine the amount of effort and energy that it took for him to pull it off. For someone who suffers from depression, it's very difficult to continue the fake happiness when inside they feel the complete opposite.
You come across as being very selfish and needy. If you truly loved him, you'd research depression and try a lot harder to understand him and why he does the things he does. Instead of taking it personally every time he struggles, you'd recognize his depressive episodes for what they are, and you'd be far more understanding when he needs time to himself to regroup.
If you're not up for the task of being more understanding of his problem then you definitely don't belong together. You also can't force him to get help for his depression because he has to want to get help.
I agree with the above poster. It actually sounds like you are more worried about how you feel, your trips, him breaking up with you, then how he is actually doing. Why is this all about you because he wants some time to himself? Are you that clingy and needy you can't just let him be and go and do your own things?
Yeah I realize after posting this that is how it came off... I am 10000% more worried about my relationship. My emotions and anxiety were just running really high.
I just don't, personally, think it is fair for him to not talk all day and then text me basically a cliff-hanger "need some time to think" and then not respond when I say "think about what?"... Cause he's going to know that I am obviously assuming the worst.
When him and I first broke up in March 2013 (got back together this past November/December 2016), for the entire month before the official break up, it just wasn't good. He was kind of cold, not touchy feely, and it was obvious it was ending. There was a sort-of 'build up' to the break up.. That's why this is confusing to me... Why go from having an amazing time together and talking about going back to that same destination this summer, to literally the next day acting off and saying he just wants to be alone.
I am so crazy about him and love him, which is why deep down I am worried that this is gonna be the end.
Sometimes, after an amazing weekend, or some kind of 'high', emotionally...it freaks the other person completely out. I know this, because I used to be like this. Things get said, someone pours their heart out, the 'love' word gets said...and I would just freak out.
Maybe that's what he's going through. You had an amazing weekend, and now he's got this trip in front of him with you, and an even BIGGER trip ahead...all this 'future' might be wigging him.
If it were me, I'd give him a call and say something along these lines "Look, I'll give you all the room you want, and I'm going to assume the trips are off unless you tell me otherwise." and then let it go, and don't contact him again.
And it's probably going to hurt. I'm sorry.
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) and if I felt there was something amiss, I would address it, intermediately, regardless, if I think its bad news. My significant other could very well take a month to a year to "think about it" if I was to give that person "time".
