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Accordingly to the OP's opening post, they were "into each other" but she made excuses to not to see him and lied about her being sick. Unless something else happened that im not aware of, then that's playing someone for a fool IMO.
The stereotypical scenario when it's the guy who isn't feeling it for a 2nd date is that he says at the end of the first date, "I'll call you", and never does. Is that "playing" his date, and misleading her? Is that grounds for revenge? No, women over generations have learned to just suck it up as "normal". No one drives by their ex-date's place with a flame-thrower, like the woman on Blues Brothers, and blasts the guy away, or breaks into his place.
My gawd, some guy is miffed that there wasn't a second date? Join the rest of humanity, boo hoo! He shouldn't be dating if he can't take it.
Besides, as someone else pointed out early in the thread, it could have been a coincidence. Could be completely unrelated. Still, she was foolish to let a stranger know where she lived. Rick seems to be full of stories about women putting themselves at risk with strangers, in one scenario or another.
What games? Who was playing games? She invited a guy on a first date. He thought there was chemistry, she didn't. The end. MOST first dates end that way.
What if, after a first date, some guy decided to move on, because she was a dud, let's say. Would that be "playing games", leading her on, with a first date? Would it be ok for her to exact revenge on him in some way, because he "played her" for a first date? Do you see how deranged that thinking is?
She invited him, but to her house???
And you're right, the chemistry could have died. But I think she was wrong on two counts: 1) You never invite a stranger to your home; 2) She could have let him down easy.
Not every guy is deranged or crazy! Had it been me, she could have said Thanks but no thanks, and I'd have thanked her for the time, and wished her well. What she did - no, how she did it - was rather immature and childish.
And you're right, the chemistry could have died. But I think she was wrong on two counts: 1) You never invite a stranger to your home; 2) She could have let him down easy.
Not every guy is deranged or crazy! Had it been me, she could have said Thanks but no thanks, and I'd have thanked her for the time, and wished her well. What she did - no, how she did it - was rather immature and childish.
True. But some people can't bring themselves to say, "Thanks for your time, but I'll be moving on." It's no different than the age old "I'll call you", that guys have dished out for aeons, after a first date.
What this discussion is shaping up to sound like is that men can't take a shot of their own medicine.
The stereotypical scenario when it's the guy who isn't feeling it for a 2nd date is that he says at the end of the first date, "I'll call you", and never does. Is that "playing" his date, and misleading her? Is that grounds for revenge? No, women over generations have learned to just suck it up as "normal". No one drives by their ex-date's place with a flame-thrower, like the woman on Blues Brothers, and blasts the guy away, or breaks into his place.
My gawd, some guy is miffed that there wasn't a second date? Join the rest of humanity, boo hoo! He shouldn't be dating if he can't take it.
Besides, as someone else pointed out early in the thread, it could have been a coincidence. Could be completely unrelated. Still, she was foolish to let a stranger know where she lived. Rick seems to be full of stories about women putting themselves at risk with strangers, in one scenario or another.
I don't care what gender it is, what's wrong is wrong. There was an OP just recently that had a thread of she wanted to know why i ended things. I said to tell her and man up.
I don't look at it as a gender issue. And if she cant be honest, then she should not date either. How hard is it really to tell someone that they're not feeling it? I don't know how old these people are, but considering she has her own place, im going to assume she's old enough to tell the truth.
I don't care what gender it is, what's wrong is wrong. .
By all means, feel free to go out into the bro-sphere, and post that men should stop telling women "I'll call you", if they don't mean it! Womankind with thank you.
considering she has her own place, im going to assume she's old enough to tell the truth.
Some guys can't take the truth, either. Look at all the women who have posted here since you joined, about how angry guys get when women decline to provide a stranger with her phone number? She could have told him the truth, and the results could have been the same. (IF the break-in was related at all, which we don't know.)
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 05-07-2017 at 11:03 AM..
By all means, feel free to go out into the bro-sphere, and post that men should stop telling women "I'll call you", if they don't mean it! Womankind with thank you.
Im disappointed when PEOPLE don't give the proper respect to the other person. It makes me sick when A PERSON cannot simply tell someone that they're no longer feeling it. Granted, I use to be one of those people, but i turned 21 and i learned that ghosting on people and not giving them proper respect was a recipe for disaster for me.
I can't "tell my bro-sphere" that they shouldn't tell women lame ass excuses, the only thing i can do is be the best version of myself and giving my potential partners/dates proper respect.
Some guys can't take the truth, either. Look at all the women who have posted here over since you joined, about how angry guys get when women decline to provide a stranger with her phone number? She could have told him the truth, and the results could have been the same. (IF the break-in was related at all, which we don't know.)
I guess you may have a point but i still stand that respect should be given to the opposite party regardless of gender. If someone you were attracted to were no longer feeling you, would you rather them:
A) go ghost on you like a little coward
b) have the courage to at least tell you that they're no longer feeling it and why.
The old cliche holds true, treat others on how you want to be treated.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 49erfan916
I guess you may have a point but i still stand that respect should be given to the opposite party regardless of gender. If someone you were attracted to were no longer feeling you, would you rather them:
A) go ghost on you like a little coward
b) have the courage to at least tell you that they're no longer feeling it and why.
The old cliche holds true, treat others on how you want to be treated.
Really? That certainly stands for a long term relationship - the partner deserves an answer.
Not after a first lunch date. Simply saying I'm too busy to get together again, and then not calling, is how I would like to be treated actually. What could a person say truthfully that would make you feel better about yourself? If it's not a match, I don't need to know why you found me lacking thank you, unless it's something fixable like bad breath. It's not really up to us to give first dates a "score card" of what they did that was pleasing or unpleasing. Simply making it clear that you are "too busy" for another date is the most socially graceful way to end it.
And the guy in this incident should have respected that. And if he failed to respect that, then realizing after he told the woman "call me" and she didn't, that's your final socially graceful hint.
Accordingly to the OP's opening post, they were "into each other" but she made excuses to not to see him and lied about her being sick. Unless something else happened that im not aware of, then that's playing someone for a fool IMO.
From my understanding, this is exactly what happened.
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