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You are seeing him casually, so you really don't have any say in what he does.
BUT, you say he cancels on you a lot and apparently that has been acceptable to you, so this isn't much different. You have taught him it's okay. How do you show him it is not okay? Stop seeing him. You teach people how to treat you.
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If you're only dating someone casually and they're late for a date, you don't get to give them the third degree. It's not a serious relationship and he told you why he was late. It does not matter that he was helping his ex.
You also have no business going to her to ask if they're still an item -- especially at work. What is it with you and work anyway? Do you enjoy workplace drama and intrigue?
You need to start over. Dump the guy if you don't like the arrangement. Find someone who respects you enough to be punctual. You're not this guy's highest priority.
You are seeing him casually, so you really don't have any say in what he does.
BUT, you say he cancels on you a lot and apparently that has been acceptable to you, so this isn't much different. You have taught him it's okay. How do you show him it is not okay? Stop seeing him. You teach people how to treat you.
But I do like him a lot. I would like to see him more and would like it if he stops being late and canceling dates. I don't know how to get that to happen, especially if he has a gf.
Well then, how do I show them it's not ok to be late for a date and/or cancel dates?
Sometimes people cancel dates. What he's doing is treaTing you like an afterthought. You show him you don't like that by cranking up your relationship. Are you actually dating, or are you "seeing each other off and on casually?" "Off an on casually" doesn't get to make the same rules as someone who's actually dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneMeyer
And if he is still dating her, how do I know that?
You already asked him, and he said they aren't dating. So ... either you trust him or you don't.
It sounds like you don't so maybe instead of being an "off and on" girl you should just make it permanently "off."
I've asked him if he was dating her. He told me he wasn't. I used to work with her so I could find her and ask her.
What should I do if he is? Tell him I am not seeing him anymore if he can't respect my time and seeing someone else?
Uh, yes, yes you should. Doesn't sound like the relationship is going anywhere...why are you settling for something so casual? Do you prefer not to be in a serious relationship? Nevertheless, even casual friends should be expected to be considerate of your time. My personal opinion is that you should just let him fade away and start seeing someone who respects you and your time and your company much more. Best of luck to you!
But I do like him a lot. I would like to see him more and would like it if he stops being late and canceling dates. I don't know how to get that to happen, especially if he has a gf.
Essentially you are asking "how can I get him to care about and respect me?"
You can't. What you can do is respect yourself and stop seeing him.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
How ca I accuse someone of seeing someone else and lying with no proof?
Find her. Ask her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneMeyer;
But I do like him a lot. I would like to see him more and would like it if he stops being late and canceling dates.
It sounds like you're a lot more into him than he is into you. I don't think you can change that.
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