She can't take a hint-HELP (women, love, family, advice)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I met someone recently who I thought was normal at first but now find out she is a reject. Little by little she confided in me things like she was adopted by a dysfunctional family that didn't treat her well and she talks about this ALL the time and blames her problems on it. Seemed like everyday she would tell me private things like she wet the bed until age 12, grinds her teeth at night and takes paxil. She always has some type of ache or pain that she needs to inform me of. She can't even answer the phone or door without being afraid! She told me she wants to go to nursing school (I told her to rethink it since she has so many emotional problems-I know I wouldn't want a psycho nurse caring for me or my family). I tried to give her advice but she is happy being unhappy and everywhere I look she is there (we work the same shift). She won't stop bothering me and I tried to let her know that I'm not interested in listening to her problems anymore but she still keeps on whining to me! I need specific ideas and things to say so she will understand without her thinking I'm really really rude. I'm afraid if I am too rude that she will complain to supervisor about me. Please help so I can work without her bothering me all the time!
Good idea to NOT be rude. This person has already been through a very rough time in her/his life.
Say this
"I'm sorry about your circumstances. Maybe somebody else would love to hear your stories but I am too busy to help you."
or "I'm too busy to talk to you as of now"
Don't use eye contact when she is around. Fold your arms over your chest so that you don't appear interested in her.
Also contact her by email and let her know that you don't think it is right to talk about personal matters at work and you wish her the best at her job.
Last step would be to contact the supervisor and manager and ask for advice.
What kind of work environment is it? Can you ask your supervisor to move you to another area or department? Did you just get hired, or did she just get hired, or did you just get moved to her area to work in?
Also,her talking about her personal problems all of the time sounds like it could be a distraction that makes you a lot less efficient at your job. And that would be reasonable grounds to talk to a supervisor about getting her to stop talking to you so much. Another thought would be if you are allowed to wear headphones and listen to the music of your choice at work... then you can tune her out.
Tell her that you're there to do a job, not to talk.
Say it loud enough for someone else to hear it also, in case she gets more psycho and decides to tell the supervisor how 'rude' you are.
You need to definitely talk about this with her supervisor. And this girl really needs counseling. If your job has insurance that covers mental health services, she should take advantage of it.
Ummm - am I missing something?
She doesn't sound "psycho" at all!
Bed wetting?
Normal.
Grinding teeth?
Normal.
And taking Paxil is fairly common these days as well.
Yeah it can be annoying/uncomfortable to hear someone who you don't particularly know or wanna know spilling their life story to you, but that's actually quite common as well!
Jeez - are you Mr/Ms perfect?
Get over it!
Just do what you'd do with any other normal person who tries to befriend you when you're not interested...
Always excuse yourself or use any other avoidance techniques.
Eventually the person will get the hint.
"I'm sorry those things have happened to you. We all experience pain, but suffering is optional. If your childhood is affecting your adult life I think speaking to someone who is qualified to listen and help is a good idea. I'm not qualified to help you. I wish you well on your path"
You don't have much info in your profile about whether you are male or female but after looking at a few of your posts, my guess is you are male.
So you meet this chick at work thinking maybe it will turn into a relationship but the more you get to know her the less you like her and now don't want to be around her, is that right?
If so, how did you 2 start this? Was it innocent or was there an attraction?
Women are different then men. I don't doubt that what she went through scarred her. Chances are, if she's taking Paxil she's seeing a doctor for help. I used to be friends with someone like this and eventually she blamed me for her drinking problem, I'd had enough & cut her off, which obviously you can't do because you see her every day for work.
Some how you need to tell her you are not into her and that she really needs to talk to her counselor, possibly find a new one. Maybe she should join a group.
If she is like my ex friend, it's not going to be easy. You will probably end up telling her off before she gets the hint.
Make sure you CYA and let your boss know what's going on. Chances are she's being watched any way. My "friend" could never hold a job, it was always someone else's fault.
Good luck
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoolHeat
I met someone recently who I thought was normal at first but now find out she is a reject. Little by little she confided in me things like she was adopted by a dysfunctional family that didn't treat her well and she talks about this ALL the time and blames her problems on it. Seemed like everyday she would tell me private things like she wet the bed until age 12, grinds her teeth at night and takes paxil. She always has some type of ache or pain that she needs to inform me of. She can't even answer the phone or door without being afraid! She told me she wants to go to nursing school (I told her to rethink it since she has so many emotional problems-I know I wouldn't want a psycho nurse caring for me or my family). I tried to give her advice but she is happy being unhappy and everywhere I look she is there (we work the same shift). She won't stop bothering me and I tried to let her know that I'm not interested in listening to her problems anymore but she still keeps on whining to me! I need specific ideas and things to say so she will understand without her thinking I'm really really rude. I'm afraid if I am too rude that she will complain to supervisor about me. Please help so I can work without her bothering me all the time!
Well it looks like most of the advice I get is to go to supervisor but they are friendly with each other so any other advice for me to be free of this emotional wreck woman? I'm tired of being followed by her to the cafeteria and have started leaving the worksite on my break. I am wary of being rude because my supervisor seems to feel sorry for her. Got me thinking that this paxil woman prolly tells people her problems so they will feel sorry for her and not reprimand her or tell her like it is cuz she might break down or something. Thanks
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
