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I realize men often will put themselves out there.. honest and forthright, while women can position themselves from a different standpoint, so when two people really want to be open at the same time it seems to work well..building trust from that open place with each step along the way.
To me, it sounds like she's already IN a relationship...married or living with someone. She doesn't want you going THERE. But would've been ok with visiting you.
At any rate, it sounds like she always intended this to be a long distance thing.
OOh.. I never would have thought that. Aren't you savvy! On target. Yeah! I second this idea.
hey guys - so here's the situation. started talking to this girl 5 months ago. I felt that there was a connection and I got the sense that she did as well although more so from my end. We live in different states so we would primarily have long facetime conversations and text regularly. About a month and half into it, I decided I wanted to go visit her. In the meantime I sent her flowers to her workplace and she said it was really cute. However when it came time for me to book my flight, she backed off and said she is not "feeling" the romantic attraction to the level that I am and that she thinks I am getting attached too early on. I was sort of blindsided and hurt but said ok. It took me some time to get over her but eventually I moved on (still thought about her but not that much). After like 3 months of no contact she contacts me and says that she is coming to my state for some event and wanted to know if I wanted to meet. she said she kinda regretted not meeting last time and thought she would try this time. I debated whether or not to meet but said sure that would be great. her flight ended up getting canceled on the day of due to a snow storm and she did not make it. We started talking again and things were going well. I admit that I was starting to get attached again, perhaps given the history, and she pointed it out a couple of times and said maybe this wont work. I said that we should at least try. Fast forward a month and I was again making plans to visit and after a gap of not speaking for a cpl of weeks (I had some other things going on) I texted her to ask which weekend worked for her. She didn't respond for two days, I texted a follow up asking if everything was fine and that I was hoping to have heard back by now. still nothing. I realized that after this last message she blocked me. I called her with an unknown caller id and she picked up. I told her that I had been trying to get in touch with her. She said she couldn't talk and would text me the next day. She texted me the next day that she would have liked to get to know me but that we are just opposite people and that it would never have worked because I was getting too attached.
we haven't talked since. I was hurt by the way she blocked me at the end. even though we weren't in a relationship we talked for a decent amount of time and she acted like it was nothing at all. Whats your take on this situation and advice on how to move on as given how things turned out I still think about the "what if we had met and really hit it off in person." I have not moved on after this second time so need some advice here. Even if I was getting attached too early is that justification for her to block me and flake out again? thx
That to me suggests she's probably already spoken for mate and/or enjoys the attention perhaps.
Personally I think you did everything right in how you went about things and in the right manner and I know it's hard but use it as a template for the future and don't allow yourself to build a picture up and get all attached to someone that you've never even met
hey guys - so here's the situation. started talking to this girl 5 months ago. I felt that there was a connection and I got the sense that she did as well although more so from my end. We live in different states so we would primarily have long facetime conversations and text regularly. About a month and half into it, I decided I wanted to go visit her. In the meantime I sent her flowers to her workplace and she said it was really cute. However when it came time for me to book my flight, she backed off and said she is not "feeling" the romantic attraction to the level that I am and that she thinks I am getting attached too early on. I was sort of blindsided and hurt but said ok. It took me some time to get over her but eventually I moved on (still thought about her but not that much). After like 3 months of no contact she contacts me and says that she is coming to my state for some event and wanted to know if I wanted to meet. she said she kinda regretted not meeting last time and thought she would try this time. I debated whether or not to meet but said sure that would be great. her flight ended up getting canceled on the day of due to a snow storm and she did not make it. We started talking again and things were going well. I admit that I was starting to get attached again, perhaps given the history, and she pointed it out a couple of times and said maybe this wont work. I said that we should at least try. Fast forward a month and I was again making plans to visit and after a gap of not speaking for a cpl of weeks (I had some other things going on) I texted her to ask which weekend worked for her. She didn't respond for two days, I texted a follow up asking if everything was fine and that I was hoping to have heard back by now. still nothing. I realized that after this last message she blocked me. I called her with an unknown caller id and she picked up. I told her that I had been trying to get in touch with her. She said she couldn't talk and would text me the next day. She texted me the next day that she would have liked to get to know me but that we are just opposite people and that it would never have worked because I was getting too attached.
we haven't talked since. I was hurt by the way she blocked me at the end. even though we weren't in a relationship we talked for a decent amount of time and she acted like it was nothing at all. Whats your take on this situation and advice on how to move on as given how things turned out I still think about the "what if we had met and really hit it off in person." I have not moved on after this second time so need some advice here. Even if I was getting attached too early is that justification for her to block me and flake out again? thx
I'm curious, and you didn't say...did she invite you to come out?
I'm curious, and you didn't say...did she invite you to come out?
thanks for the feedback guys. a couple of more points. So the person that introduced us knows her and her social circle well so I am pretty confident that she is single (unless she is hiding from everyone this). Also, when we started talking again the second time around and she wasn't able to come, I said that its all good and that I would plan a weekend trip to see her. She said that sounds good and would let me know which weekend works. That was the last conversation we had before the 2 week gap and then her blocking me so I was under the impression that everything was okay. Also, worth noting that while she did have some hesitancy she would also say things like "you have all the qualities that I am looking for" and that I was the longest person she had been talking to in a while." So while I may have come off to strong, I was puzzled why she wouldn't want to at least meet and see if there is anything there given her positive comments. I was just surprised when she blocked because I treated her with respect throughout and she just disregarded me that way w/o even a text. I have not been in many relationships so I guess I have to learn to not get attached and hold back before I know things are going somewhere. the "what if" really bothering me, and im questioning our whole interaction and blaming myself like maybe if I didn't do that or did that then things would not have ended in a such a way.
[quote=Sassybluesy;48187388]To me, it sounds like she's already IN a relationship...married or living with someone. She doesn't want you going THERE. But would've been ok with visiting you.
At any rate, it sounds like she always intended this to be a long distance thing.[/QUOTE
I think she might be married!
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