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Im almost 50 and I can tell you that I was a hound when I was younger and was all about the ladies.
However, now, I have a family, a hard and demanding career, and I am in my prime earning years. Im so tired at the end of the night that I have no energy for that stuff. I save that stuff for vacation or special weekends.
By the way, I am not some overweight guy huffing up stairs either. Women, as they age, are a pain in the rear, and nowadays, work at any place of employment is a hostile place for men. A lot of women are just looking to sue, claim harassment, or try to bring your whole career down.
So at work, Im just all business, don't talk or converse with any women alone, and don't ask any personal questions, and just say thank you from sunup to sundown. I never ask anyone to do anything for me or make anyone stay late, etc. In case you are wondering, I am a professional with graduate degrees in the medical field.
That comes naturally to the guys I've worked with and known. Why would you ask personal questions of your co-workers? That wouldn't ever occur to me to do. Conversations in the workplace are always work-related, except for an occasional comment about great weather, or inclement weather, or traffic. It's interesting that keeping conversations business related and avoiding personal topics seems unusual to you, and requires effort.
Im almost 50 and I can tell you that I was a hound when I was younger and was all about the ladies.
However, now, I have a family, a hard and demanding career, and I am in my prime earning years. Im so tired at the end of the night that I have no energy for that stuff. I save that stuff for vacation or special weekends.
Vacation or special weekends? Yikes!
I've never had any problem being attracted to age-appropriate women. I'm 58. My girlfriend is 56. We've both aged pretty well. I was at my 40th High School reunion last summer. 1/3 of the women in the room had aged well. A bunch hadn't. It's a combination of the genetic lottery, lifestyle, and cigarettes & alcohol.
I think a lot of men have an idealized cinema and television image of what women are supposed to look like. That's not real. It's surgery, lighting, makeup, and camera angles. I like gawking at hot A list actresses as much as the next guy but I recognize that they're not real. By the time you hit your mid-30's, it takes all the tricks of the trade to continue to look 22.
If anything I'm more attracted to women than ever as I consider more of them attractive today than I probably would have when I was 20 or so. I wasn't super-picky back then either, but my tastes have only widened during the passing years.
I notice that I am not as atttacted to women as I was when I was younger. I'm also not as interested in sex. Can any other guys relate? I used to think about it all the time and want to sleep with women so bad. I think it's because it's not new to me anymore, my testosterone might have gone down, and women my age aren't as atttactive anymore. I'm in my midn30's.
My perspective has changed. I think a good analogy for the youthful teen mindset versus adult realism is in the teens portraying characters on those Disney shows from 5-10 years ago like "Wizards of Waverly Place" or "Good Luck Charlie". The HS teen guy probably thinks someone like Selena Gomez, Miley, Bridgitte Mendler or one of the other female character is great in a very naive way. The Disney shows tend to have female characters that are grossly unrealistic in the general persona - a perfect Disney princess with no flaws. But the as the teen guy ages into his 30s when he looks back he would probably recognize a lot of flaws.
Being older I know as women mature into their 20s and 30s they can change and age. Some age faster than others physically. Others can mature faster emotionally. In between there are concerns for compatibility, anger management, lifestyle, religion, politics, in-laws, spending habits, parental skills, career goals, etc.
One contrast of characters of the "fake Disney teen portrayal" vs "realism" is in the two characters portrayed by Christa Allen. In the "Wizards" show she plays Dustin's "adorable" girlfriend - a happy, wholesome teen whose worse "flaw" is being somewhat eccentric and possessive. https://i.ytimg.com/vi/pf9-FDA68tQ/hqdefault.jpg
But in another show for "Grey's Anatomy" she plays a very angry, drama-ridden, teen girl in an absolute rage of sibling rivalry with her sister. They yell and scream at each other in the ER with a vicious tone, and the surgeon gets fed up and mad while trying to help Christa's character. I worked with a guy who used to be a marital therapist. His view of marital breakdowns and anger issues brings to light conflicts like the one shown by Christa's character on "Grey's Anatomy". The way she dies in the ER due to surgical complications is also another reality to consider. When a guy gets married and matures into his 30s or 40s, some women at that age can get cancer or an auto accident or some other medical catastrophe. That "Grey's Anatomy" episode was far more realistically portrayed by Christa than that fake Disney character. I think it's a good contrast of the "naive youthful view of the Disney character" versus realism. That "hot girlfriend" could someday get cancer, pregnancy complications, post-childbirth depression, etc. http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/...20090622154446
In real life, I would think the anger management issues shown in Christa's character on "Grey's Anatomy" is far more realistic and one to watch out for in the dating and marital relationship. A young teen guy may be unaware of that and naive, but an older guy is likely to be sharply aware like in this scene of divorce mediation.
I also know that aging happens rapidly for some women. When I lived in Tallahassee back in 2005 the "most viewed woman on Facebook" was Jenn Sterger. But she is now much older and clearly deep into her 30s. I also saw on her blog that she got her first gray hair a few years back. Women can age rapidly in some cases. Selena Gomez already got her first gray hair and she is only in her mid 20s. The Olsen twins have as well in their late 20s. Katie Holmes has a LOT of gray hair but dyes it. Going back to Tallahassee, FSU has a reputation of having "very hot college girls". But I lived there long enough to notice a huge pattern of divorce and single moms in their 30s. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...b702be8425.jpg
In summary, in middle-age I have learned personality, compatibility, and anger management are just as important as the "physical beauty" of the girlfriend or wife (and that beauty will fade with age). So when I see a woman who is physically beautiful (in my opinion) I am often leery of the potential anger management issues underneath that can be rooted in lack of compatibility. Realism and maturity overwhelm views on physical attraction in my middle-aged perspective.
I may be the only woman participating in this threat, but in my observation, men don't sustain the obsessive sexual desire they had in their late teens. As it should be, or it seems it would kill them. Successful men don't remain focused 100% on having sex all their lives. You move on to other interests, and having sex takes a back seat to making money, having children, maintaining a home, etc. although sex is still important.
And THEN, unfulfilled sexual desires rise up again in a man's 40's. If he's has unfulfilled sexual preferences that he's denied until his 40's, they take a front seat again and he will leave everything he's achieved to chase them.
That is a good point, my current outlook follows this, I see girls as a distraction and deterrent, I am not interested in having kids or marriage. I am 30 now ()will be 31 in December). my only goals are to have nice things (cars, watches, shoes) and take care of my immediate family. as we age we find out what is important to us.
No. I'm way less horny than I used to be. Now, I only date for practical purposes.
It's not because my testosterone is abnormal either.
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