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Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
2,907 posts, read 2,067,392 times
Reputation: 4478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
I was part of an expat family, and while the part about working hard may be true, even in his off time he completely ignores her.
So this post is irrelevant.
Being the expat spouse doesn't mean you put up with being ignored and taken for granted.
BS. She's not taken for granted, but lonely. No different than any other expat wife in a third world country. It's not up to her husband to fill the void. Impossible.
OP so your husband is a pilot? Does it ever occur to you that when he is "sleeping over" somewhere else that he could actually have another entire family (spouse) over there? Your husband does not consider you priority, whether he is cheating or not, and you already have your answer in his actions.
I hope you will consider all the advice you have seen here (except a few unnecessary hateful comments from one person) and get out of this situation now while you're young and have not yet had children.
OP so your husband is a pilot? Does it ever occur to you that when he is "sleeping over" somewhere else that he could actually have another entire family (spouse) over there? Your husband does not consider you priority, whether he is cheating or not, and you already have your answer in his actions.
I hope you will consider all the advice you have seen here (except a few unnecessary hateful comments from one person) and get out of this situation now while you're young and have not yet had children.
Hear, hear. Well and truly spoken.
It is a sad situation, or will be for a time, but you will live many lives in this lifetime, and most of them happy, I pray.
Location: In a city within a state where politicians come to get their PHDs in Corruption
2,907 posts, read 2,067,392 times
Reputation: 4478
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagnoliaThunder
OP so your husband is a pilot? Does it ever occur to you that when he is "sleeping over" somewhere else that he could actually have another entire family (spouse) over there? Your husband does not consider you priority, whether he is cheating or not, and you already have your answer in his actions.
I hope you will consider all the advice you have seen here (except a few unnecessary hateful comments from one person) and get out of this situation now while you're young and have not yet had children.
Aha, so my realistic, while admittedly harsh comment is "hateful", your comment regarding some conspiracy theory about a separate family is what exactly? Helpful advice?
I'd say, you watched one too many Lifetime movies.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-26-2017 at 01:20 PM..
Reason: Off-topic.
You're expecting someone to feel sorry for you over the actions you made all by yourself.
Not sure what to tell you really.
You have to help yourself and not focus on how others feel if you want to make positive changes in your life.
Your post comes off as someone incapable of being independent and all the problems that come from wanting things but not being able to obtain them by self.
How did you get to this point as a international couple without ever discussing logistics and plans for living arrangements and the future together?
Where expectations EVER discussed or is it all just now happening with the rise of your unhappiness?
Way harsh. OP agreed to an uncertain situation (several times) in good faith...and the husband's job ended up changing drastically from what it had been. Hubs doesn't see the wife as a priority - his many hobbies get more time than she does.
OP - this doesn't seem to be the life for you and people rarely seem to change, especially if they aren't open to at least hearing you out and considering your issues. People do need to make their own happiness - you'll need to find things you enjoy doing if your husband won't spend more time with you. I'd not advise having kids thinking this will help things. You can try planning other ways to connect with your husband - new things that you can actually talk while doing them!..unlike surfing.
BS. She's not taken for granted, but lonely. No different than any other expat wife in a third world country. It's not up to her husband to fill the void. Impossible.
No, you can not look to any other person to "fill the void."
But one of the points of having a significant other is that there will be less of a void.
With all due respect, you're whining, and listening to people who have zero idea what it's like to be an expat spouse. Let me give you my perspective.
My wife was a darn rock star when she followed me to the end of the earth (literally). You know what, she did what she had to do in order to get through the day. You think you have it tough? Try adding three little kids to the mix. By the end of it, she liked our little world travels a lot more than me. You know why? I was gone for 12 hours a day working in countries that have almost zero labor laws. You know darn well that your husband isn't frolicking around, but working his butt off.
You have two choices: Make the best out of a crappy situation or get on the plane and leave. But, stop whining. You know he's limited about what he can do. You aren't living in some US or Western European suburbia. Get a grip.
"With all due respect"...OP is whining (and that is YOUR interpretation - I see it as something thinking through and discussing and trying to figure out her situation) for very good reason. In your eyes she shouldn't say a word about why she does anything but at the first sign of unhappiness just jump ship. Because at least she would not commit the cardinal female sin of WHINING!
Well, if hubs would rather look up and see his wife not there with no explanation rather than try to listen to the issues, cool... Otherwise, THIS is how discussions begin - someone expresses how they are feeling. If that constitutes whining then I'd say you're a typical man who only wants to do his own thing with no consideration or compromise for another human being. If your wife wants to put up with you fine - but I'd not want to be tied down to you - I'd rather run my own life - you couldn't make enough money for me to put up with that.
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