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Hi folks. A lot of you on here know my situation. Click here to see my most recent post.
I followed all your advice and ended things with my BF last night. Thing is, he doesn't want it to be over.
It started when I admitted to him I've been snooping and that it's pretty clear he still loves his ex girlfriend. I said I don't trust him anymore and don't want to be second best. I also said I know he won't forgive me for the snooping either so it might as well be over between us.
Surprisingly he said he forgives me for snooping and wants us to stay together. He said he loves me very much and would be devastated if it was over. I said he might as well just get back with his ex; that it was obvious he had regrets about breaking up with her, so why not just get back together?
He told me something I didn't know before. That her parents were homophobic and that they'd never in a million years allow their daughter to be with a bisexual like him, especially one who left her for a man. He admitted no one knew about his sexuality until he got with me. Her parents didn't know, and neither did his ex. He admitted the reason he ended things with her was because he realized he had fallen for me. He said his ex forgives him and has been amazing, but feels she deserves a better man than him.
He's begged me to stay with him all day. Obviously, I still love him and want to try and overcome this obstacle. From his messages it's obvious he still has feelings for his ex, but he swears there's no way they'll ever get back together.
Should I try and give things another go? or should I give up for good?
Hi folks. A lot of you on here know my situation. Click here to see my most recent post.
I followed all your advice and ended things with my BF last night. Thing is, he doesn't want it to be over.
It started when I admitted to him I've been snooping and that it's pretty clear he still loves his ex girlfriend. I said I don't trust him anymore and don't want to be second best. I also said I know he won't forgive me for the snooping either so it might as well be over between us.
Surprisingly he said he forgives me for snooping and wants us to stay together. He said he loves me very much and would be devastated if it was over. I said he might as well just get back with his ex; that it was obvious he had regrets about breaking up with her, so why not just get back together?
He told me something I didn't know before. That her parents were homophobic and that they'd never in a million years allow their daughter to be with a bisexual like him, especially one who left her for a man. He admitted no one knew about his sexuality until he got with me. Her parents didn't know, and neither did his ex. He admitted the reason he ended things with her was because he realized he wasn't straight because he had fallen for me. He said his ex forgives him and has been amazing, but feels she deserves a better man than him.
He's begged me to stay with him all day. Obviously, I still love him and want to try and overcome this obstacle. From his messages it's obvious he still has feelings for his ex, but he said there's no way they'll ever get back together.
Should I try and give things another go? or should I give up for good?
If you want to be loved, truly loved, by one person, then stand your ground and tell him to get bent, that you resent his telling you the exact same thing he told his ex.
If you want to continue down a painful path with him while he figures out who the hell he is, stay with him.
He really has some nerve to expect you to bear the brunt of his uncertainty.
To me he doesn't know what he wants and wants to have his cake and eat too. Nothing is worse than a person who copies and pastes everything they say. That is NOT cool.
To me he doesn't know what he wants and wants to have his cake and eat too. Nothing is worse than a person who copies and pastes everything they say. That is NOT cool.
Seriously.
No contact for sure, trey. He will beg you till you relent, and that is really not the best thing for you.
Hi folks. A lot of you on here know my situation. Click here to see my most recent post.
I followed all your advice and ended things with my BF last night. Thing is, he doesn't want it to be over.
It started when I admitted to him I've been snooping and that it's pretty clear he still loves his ex girlfriend. I said I don't trust him anymore and don't want to be second best. I also said I know he won't forgive me for the snooping either so it might as well be over between us.
Surprisingly he said he forgives me for snooping and wants us to stay together. He said he loves me very much and would be devastated if it was over. I said he might as well just get back with his ex; that it was obvious he had regrets about breaking up with her, so why not just get back together?
He told me something I didn't know before. That her parents were homophobic and that they'd never in a million years allow their daughter to be with a bisexual like him, especially one who left her for a man. He admitted no one knew about his sexuality until he got with me. Her parents didn't know, and neither did his ex. He admitted the reason he ended things with her was because he realized he had fallen for me. He said his ex forgives him and has been amazing, but feels she deserves a better man than him.
He's begged me to stay with him all day. Obviously, I still love him and want to try and overcome this obstacle. From his messages it's obvious he still has feelings for his ex, but he swears there's no way they'll ever get back together.
Should I try and give things another go? or should I give up for good?
Forget all this and that for second do you actually WANT him back? And CAN you work around this?
It's apparent you can't to us so we wouldn't but as you're contemplating getting back together you clearly miss him so.....
Hi folks. A lot of you on here know my situation. Click here to see my most recent post.
I followed all your advice and ended things with my BF last night. Thing is, he doesn't want it to be over.
It started when I admitted to him I've been snooping and that it's pretty clear he still loves his ex girlfriend. I said I don't trust him anymore and don't want to be second best. I also said I know he won't forgive me for the snooping either so it might as well be over between us.
Surprisingly he said he forgives me for snooping and wants us to stay together. He said he loves me very much and would be devastated if it was over. I said he might as well just get back with his ex; that it was obvious he had regrets about breaking up with her, so why not just get back together?
He told me something I didn't know before. That her parents were homophobic and that they'd never in a million years allow their daughter to be with a bisexual like him, especially one who left her for a man. He admitted no one knew about his sexuality until he got with me. Her parents didn't know, and neither did his ex. He admitted the reason he ended things with her was because he realized he had fallen for me. He said his ex forgives him and has been amazing, but feels she deserves a better man than him.
He's begged me to stay with him all day. Obviously, I still love him and want to try and overcome this obstacle. From his messages it's obvious he still has feelings for his ex, but he swears there's no way they'll ever get back together.
Should I try and give things another go? or should I give up for good?
What would be the point for you? Your now ex seems to have a very narrow comfort zone, which is why he's not giving up on you and her. The trust on your end is damaged, you already feel insecured... he doesn't seem to know what he really wants or perhaps he also doesn't know himself very well-- all this is too much of an obstacle to overcome.
The new info is completely irrelevant. He should not be talking to her that way, she doesn't need to know how he feels now. I can't help but wonder if the ex is also holding her back-- but that's not your problem. Don't let him hold you back.
Cut it off, cut ties and dont look back. Are you bi sexual as well?
I would think dating someone bisexual would mean you cant trust him with another woman and man . So, him habging with a male friend might be iinmocnt, but actually not.
Find some one with the same values as you, and dont settle for what can be a very confusing journey for you. Why would you walk into a tunnel of hurt?
I would think dating someone bisexual would mean you cant trust him with another woman and man . So, him habging with a male friend might be iinmocnt, but actually not.
You are wrong. Just because you have the potential to be sexually attracted to either gender doesn't mean you don't deserve trust in a relationship. Do you want to hook up with every woman you see? (kinda assuming you're a man here with this comment.) No? Then back off the judgments of bisexual people. The OP's ex being bi isn't what led to this all.
Sorry he can't let you go, OP, but he just wants to keep you both around. He'll never stop the wistful messages to his ex, unless she cuts him off completely, and even then you don't know if he'll feel differently. I think you will regret it if you stay with him, but you're going to do what you want.
Yeah, I'd definitely cut off contact here. This isn't healthy for you, OP. I love a lot of people that aren't good for me, from a distance. I also miss them greatly, but I know they aren't good for me to be around.
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dating someone bisexual would mean you cant trust him with another woman and man . So, him habging with a male friend might be iinmocnt, but actually not.
The same dynamic can be found among straight and gay people.
Bisexuals can be as monogamous as straight (or gay) people. I'm a lesbian-leaning bisexual (I prefer other women, but there are some guys I'm attracted to) and I prefer monogamy, when I'm with someone, there is no other. Most bisexuals are. Just because we're bi, it doesn't mean we're sleeping around.
Quote:
Find some one with the same values as you, and dont settle for what can be a very confusing journey for you. Why would you walk into a tunnel of hurt?
Definitely good advice. Take care of your heart, OP. Best of luck to you.
He told me something I didn't know before. That her parents were homophobic and that they'd never in a million years allow their daughter to be with a bisexual like him, especially one who left her for a man. He admitted no one knew about his sexuality until he got with me. Her parents didn't know, and neither did his ex. He admitted the reason he ended things with her was because he realized he had fallen for me. He said his ex forgives him and has been amazing, but feels she deserves a better man than him.
IMO, this changes nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by trey101
From his messages it's obvious he still has feelings for his ex, but he swears there's no way they'll ever get back together.
Should I try and give things another go? or should I give up for good?
Really think about what I've bolded above. Okay, so they don't get back together - but he still has unresolved feelings for her. That's a major point, OP, that you seem to gloss over. And as long as he maintains contact with her, those feelings are just going to take even longer to go away.
If he really wanted to make you his priority, make your relationship work, he would go no contact on her to allow himself time to get over her. And OP, I think you need to give him time to get over her. I don't think you should get back with him. Tell him that you care about him, and want a relationship with him but it's obvious he has feelings for her. Until those feelings are resolved, you can't be in a relationship with him. Once those feelings have subsided, then you two can explore resuming the relationship - or not because you may have found someone else by that time.
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