Very Personal, but no friends around tonight and have to vent (woman, lover)

[*Danielle*]

I just wanted to offer up a hug and I hope your feeling better today.

[Tzaphkiel]

it has less to do with gender preference than falling for someone who is not available, for whatever reason, and experiencing feelings of jealousy, hurt, whatever. Anyone in or out of relationship deals with those

Anytime you can see a pattern it is useful in your own process of self-growth and self-discovery. Not saying there is a pattern in this case, but it is useful information to observe, "I'm really falling for someone who is not available" (for whatever reason). Because then you are able to understand yourself better and work on anything that doesn't serve you in creating happy satisfying relationships

[denverian]

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

it has less to do with gender preference than falling for someone who is not available, for whatever reason, and experiencing feelings of jealousy, hurt, whatever. Anyone in or out of relationship deals with those

Anytime you can see a pattern it is useful in your own process of self-growth and self-discovery. Not saying there is a pattern in this case, but it is useful information to observe, "I'm really falling for someone who is not available" (for whatever reason). Because then you are able to understand yourself better and work on anything that doesn't serve you in creating happy satisfying relationships

I knew someone like that years ago. Every guy he fell for was either straight or if gay, too young for him and out of his league. He ended up strung out on meth, in and out of jail, homeless, and lost it all. I don't even know if he's still alive. I just couldn't understand it.

[Lior Arel]

Thanks for the concern. No, thankfully not a pattern for me, but I have known people like this too. I actually don't usually fall at all -- been in love maybe three times in my life (one I'm not sure if it was love or just an intense romance).

Usually I just enjoy being single and casual "dating" *wink, wink*.

[brokendolly]

Jealousy and obsession are soul destroying and time wasting. But venting is good! Venting helps to dispel the endless cycle of thoughts that are stopping you from going out and having a wonderful life.

Obsession can blind you to other possibilities and jealousy corrupt your emotions so good luck excising those twin demons from your psyche.

[Tressa]

Lior are you sure he's not gay or maybe he is questioning it. But if he's not I think that it's great that he can be a very close friend to you, most guys if straight will totally avoid a possible connection.

Good luck to you, not to be crude but from what I read you would be a very good story teller, ever though about writing a book?

[furry_playstation]

Originally Posted by Lior Arel

I just needed to get it off my chest and proclaim my love somehow, somewhere.

not sure how you are feeling now, but you really don't need to feed this beast

get some hobbies or something to occupy your mind to get it off this guy

[Lior Arel]

Originally Posted by Tressa

Lior are you sure he's not gay or maybe he is questioning it. But if he's not I think that it's great that he can be a very close friend to you, most guys if straight will totally avoid a possible connection.

Good luck to you, not to be crude but from what I read you would be a very good story teller, ever though about writing a book?

Thanks, Tressa. I am an amateur writer. Actually, the subject of this thread is just one of many in my life that could make a good story. I've often thought about writing a series of short stories about the events of my life over the past few years. It truly has been interesting.

[Tressa]

I bet, we all have such interesting lives in the most part and I too have been ask to write a book about my life but not sure I want it in print.

[Lior Arel]

We hung out last night (of course, we hang out every night) and I really tried to keep feelings from bubbling up. Not so lucky..lol..but like I said, I am dealing with it. I thought about alot of the comments on here and I did notice the way he looks at me (soft expression, direct eye contact) and his body language (leaned towards me, arms open and relaxed) and realized that no wonder I let myself get into this. He DOES give all the signals of someone who is romantically interested. Combine that with the closeness we share, etc. and I'd be shocked if I hadn't fallen.

I did notice that there seems to be something there physically. I'm wondering a little if maybe he is questioning (not that I would EVER bring it up with him or push the issue).

Thank again for all your support. Ciao!