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(English is not my first language, therefore please ignore the grammatical mistakes)
Hello,
I have been engaged for about 3 years now. We were suppose to get married later this year. My fiance loves me a lot. She forces me to spend time with her. I don't know how else to say it but she is the clingy type and I am more of a reserved guy. But I love her none the less, may be not as intensely as she does.
But here is what happened that really broke my heart. A week ago I found her receiving sex messages from her ex-class mate. It was going on for about a month. I was devastated to find out this. I immediately told her that it's over and we wont be getting married.
But she begged me not to do that. She said that it was a mistake and it will never ever happen again. I know that she will never do that again. I am also sure that this was only through texting and they never did anything physical. But I am completely devastated and can't believe it, that she could do something like that. So I was firm that marriage is not gonna happen and it's over.
Here is when things got complicated. After 1 day of my refusal, she started getting seizure attacks. When I took her to the hospital they said that she has 'Conversion disorder' - means these seizure attacks are due to a trauma ( breakup). So during her treatment I told her that I forgive her and we are not breaking up. Only after that she started getting back. She is improving now.
I don't know what should i do? To be honest after that incident I don't trust and like her anymore. But since I love and care for her I keep telling her that I am not leaving her, so that she can recover from her condition.
I wouldn't stay with someone I don't trust or like, but that's me.
More than likely you feel obligated to stay with her because of her psychosomatic disorder. That's not a good reason to stay with someone. To me she's proven that she's not really trust worthy, seeing as she easily began sexting someone else. That's enough for me to walk away.
I agree that no one can make this decision for you...
Me personally, I think I could find a way to forgive and stick with her. However, I would need to delay the marriage and extend the engagement another year.
You are being manipulated, my friend. Do not stand for it. Is she gonna cheat and then claim seizures when you confront her? DROP her, now, and get someone who deserves you.
You are being manipulated, my friend. Do not stand for it. Is she gonna cheat and then claim seizures when you confront her? DROP her, now, and get someone who deserves you.
(English is not my first language, therefore please ignore the grammatical mistakes)
Hello,
I have been engaged for about 3 years now. We were suppose to get married later this year. My fiance loves me a lot. She forces me to spend time with her. I don't know how else to say it but she is the clingy type and I am more of a reserved guy. But I love her none the less, may be not as intensely as she does.
But here is what happened that really broke my heart. A week ago I found her receiving sex messages from her ex-class mate. It was going on for about a month. I was devastated to find out this. I immediately told her that it's over and we wont be getting married.
But she begged me not to do that. She said that it was a mistake and it will never ever happen again. I know that she will never do that again. I am also sure that this was only through texting and they never did anything physical. But I am completely devastated and can't believe it, that she could do something like that. So I was firm that marriage is not gonna happen and it's over.
Here is when things got complicated. After 1 day of my refusal, she started getting seizure attacks. When I took her to the hospital they said that she has 'Conversion disorder' - means these seizure attacks are due to a trauma ( breakup). So during her treatment I told her that I forgive her and we are not breaking up. Only after that she started getting back. She is improving now.
I don't know what should i do? To be honest after that incident I don't trust and like her anymore. But since I love and care for her I keep telling her that I am not leaving her, so that she can recover from her condition.
Please help.
Thank you so much!
I am assuming you don't have children with her right? If this is a "no" then...DONT GET HER PREGNANT!! It sounds like she's the type to trap you in; tamper with the condoms, "forget" to take her BC pills. Also, if children aren't in the mix here, RUN! She has a red flag characteristic of a cheater. You say nothing has gotten physical with this ex-class mate. How do you know? This whole situation sounds like one giant "I dodged a bullet there" situation. Get out while you can otherwise you'll end up marrying a future (or present) cheater.
Why have you been engaged for three years and have not gotten married?
Probably because he notices the red flags but don't know how to react. Sounds like he is paralyzed and doesn't know which direction to go and is hoping one day things will magically get better.
You are being manipulated, my friend. Do not stand for it. Is she gonna cheat and then claim seizures when you confront her? DROP her, now, and get someone who deserves you.
So true. He is being manipulated. This is the first tactic. If this works, the next tactic to pop up when he is thinking about leaving her is an "accidental" pregnancy. That'll cement him to her for a LONG time.
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