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I dated sporadically and then moved to the armpit of America 4 1/2 years ago. Its been bad ever since. I'm trying to move back to Atl, but it isn't that simple. I won't move without a job to go to, and a long distance search 1000 miles away is hard. But the dating world has changed so much now, who knows if I'd have luck there in 2017. I have now idea at this point.
Why are you so down on OKC? Is the dating scene really that tough there? Have you tried churches? Lots of women at those mega churches in Bible Belt land.
I live in San Diego and it's tough out here too. Lots of women for guys making $200K and up. So if only I can double my income, I'll really be in the money ha ha.
Why are you so down on OKC? Is the dating scene really that tough there? Have you tried churches? Lots of women at those mega churches in Bible Belt land.
I live in San Diego and it's tough out here too. Lots of women for guys making $200K and up. So if only I can double my income, I'll really be in the money ha ha.
Churches is one of the first things I tried. Its very cliquish, even in that environment. I went to several small groups as well, and I just didn't get a good vibe from people. So I made a good effort. Here's the other thing; because this is the bible belt, people get married very young. As everyone loves to say, this is a great place for families. Well, its not great for singles over the age of 25, I can assure you. Its so different culturally here, I can't really explain it. If you're not from here originally, people don't care to be friends with you. Its so weird.
Churches is one of the first things I tried. Its very cliquish, even in that environment. I went to several small groups as well, and I just didn't get a good vibe from people. So I made a good effort. Here's the other thing; because this is the bible belt, people get married very young. As everyone loves to say, this is a great place for families. Well, its not great for singles over the age of 25, I can assure you. Its so different culturally here, I can't really explain it. If you're not from here originally, people don't care to be friends with you. Its so weird.
Aren't you a real estate guy/seller? You've been sorta beating the OKC sucks drum for a while. Why not just move?? I only ask because it seems like you think that that is the cause of your issues, if so, why just move?
Aren't you a real estate guy/seller? You've been sorta beating the OKC sucks drum for a while. Why not just move?? I only ask because it seems like you think that that is the cause of your issues, if so, why just move?
Just curious here
Chow, you don't know what I do? I'll forgive you for that. If I was a real estate sales guy, moving would mean re-building a business. But no, I'm an Investment Manager (non-sales!). Financial services is a tough field (still) and I can't make any career mistakes after the Great Recession, so stuck until I find a better opportunity back in Atlanta (or Dallas, Nashville, Charlotte), which is proving to take way longer than expected.
As a relatively recent widow at 50 who has not been single in 25 years, I'd say that dating would be very difficult for me if I attempted it. The reasons are many: We had no kids so I don't have any of the potential conflicts that may arise because of that whether the kids are minors or in their 20-30s. I have a stable career with what I consider a good salary and own my own place. Many of my single/divorced friends who are doing the online dating thing have met many people who: are just looking for a hookup, are in huge debt, are content to skate by and earn enough to cover the current month's needs, or live to drink on the weekends. None of that is remotely appealing to me and their experiences have soured me on that as a potential place to meet someone should I decide in the future to pursue that.
There is also the notion of potential crazies out there that is (fortunately or unfortunately) built into people in my age range
who have not gone through the evolution of dating methods over the past 25 years. Not that I think anyone on online dating sites is a loon, it's just a personal wariness I have of giving out information online to strangers.
Sounds like dating in one's 40's and above is easier for a man than a woman.
(Women, go ahead and tell me your positive stories.) I'm guessing this is because men's financial statuses goes up, women's looks goes down as well as fertility?
Things have definitely changed for me. In my 20's and younger, I did not have to do very much to attract the opposite sex. I actually had to reject a lot of them. Tables have turned. I have to do more work now like actually approaching men. Even the ones that I finally find attractive don't want me. The ones my age wants someone much younger, so at least the OP isn't into 20 year olds. The ones that want me are near retirement age. No thanks.
I'm fine being single for now, and I'm willing to just wait it out for that lighting (even if it may never come again).
Sounds like dating in one's 40's and above is easier for a man than a woman.
(Women, go ahead and tell me your positive stories.) I'm guessing this is because men's financial statuses goes up, women's looks goes down as well as fertility?
Things have definitely changed for me. In my 20's and younger, I did not have to do very much to attract the opposite sex. I actually had to reject a lot of them.
Tables have turned. I have to do more work now like actually approaching men. Even the ones that I finally find attractive don't want me. The ones my age wants someone much younger, so at least the OP isn't into 20 year olds. The ones that want me are near retirement age. No thanks.
I'm fine being single for now, and I'm willing to just wait it out for that lighting (even if it may never come again).
Maybe this is true if the man lives in the right location. Its like real estate, location, location, location! I sometimes wish I was in New York City. Tons of women my age or slightly younger (40's) who have taken great care of themselves and looking for a guy like me. In the midwest/plains, not so much. Men and women value different things in that women value stability and career and also don't mind gray hair, where the opposite is true for men. We tend to value fertility and looks more. But at my age, I've had to reevaluate that, ie: fertility maybe needs to take a backseat at this point. I hate letting that dream go, but it is what it is, unfortunately.
Sounds like dating in one's 40's and above is easier for a man than a woman.
(Women, go ahead and tell me your positive stories.) I'm guessing this is because men's financial statuses goes up, women's looks goes down as well as fertility?
Things have definitely changed for me. In my 20's and younger, I did not have to do very much to attract the opposite sex. I actually had to reject a lot of them. Tables have turned. I have to do more work now like actually approaching men. Even the ones that I finally find attractive don't want me. The ones my age wants someone much younger, so at least the OP isn't into 20 year olds. The ones that want me are near retirement age. No thanks.
I'm fine being single for now, and I'm willing to just wait it out for that lighting (even if it may never come again).
I've seen quite a few women in their 40s who are married to men more than 10 years older. Were those women rejected by men their own age and forced to "settle" for older men? Who knows? I was never one of those guys that women flocked to. So to be rejected by women now doesn't feel like a big change. It's hard to relate to women who say the pendulum has swung. If you're used to getting lots of attention and now get very little, do you (not you specifically) lower your standards? Hopefully that isn't the case. But when I look at some of the men 40+ women end up with, it does cross my mind. Did you choose to be with this guy because he showed interest and you figured you might not get another opportunity like this anytime soon?
Well now you know how it feels to be abused on here.
I am not feeling abused at all. I'll take take it like a champ.
And I wouldn't be single if I was less picky. So, nice try, ATLguy.
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