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Old 06-16-2017, 03:55 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,837 times
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I will try to keep this brief. My boyfriend/fiance just moved in. We have been together just under 6 months. I was being nice and let him bring his ex girlfriend's things he is holding for her. It was as issue because i didnt really want that It became a bigger issue because he hates my house for being small among other reasons so he wants me to get rid of some of my stuff. Turned out we had less space than we thought. I had already gotten rid of lots of stuff and this , along with feeling bad he isn't happy here contributed to me loosing my temper and nagging about all my concerns (mostly double standard stuff about interaction with the opposite sex.) So now he wants to move out when he next gets paid. He said he's planning on leaving me but wants to keep up appearances and will see if he still has feelings for me in a few days. I feel sad as I was planning a life with him but I am also confused and further hurt how he can be so cold so fast. I have sincerely apologized for over reacting but he is still cold towards me, while planning to show me the home he wants, and possibly have me move in if he finds feelings for me again. Also we have a lunch date and Sunday drive planned as well- we will be alone so these are not appearance related. I am so confused because i do feel hurt he hates my house and that wouldn't anyone make arrangements to return their exes things if it was bothering their current partner? It's as though the issues are being over looked here. Any advice would be appreciated as I truly am confused under my disappointment and sadness as I do not want to break up. Thank you.
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,253 posts, read 41,844,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
I will try to keep this brief. My boyfriend/fiance just moved in. We have been together just under 6 months. I was being nice and let him bring his ex girlfriend's things he is holding for her. It was as issue because i didnt really want that It became a bigger issue because he hates my house for being small among other reasons so he wants me to get rid of some of my stuff. Turned out we had less space than we thought. I had already gotten rid of lots of stuff and this , along with feeling bad he isn't happy here contributed to me loosing my temper and nagging about all my concerns (mostly double standard stuff about interaction with the opposite sex.) So now he wants to move out when he next gets paid. He said he's planning on leaving me but wants to keep up appearances and will see if he still has feelings for me in a few days. I feel sad as I was planning a life with him but I am also confused and further hurt how he can be so cold so fast. I have sincerely apologized for over reacting but he is still cold towards me, while planning to show me the home he wants, and possibly have me move in if he finds feelings for me again. Also we have a lunch date and Sunday drive planned as well- we will be alone so these are not appearance related. I am so confused because i do feel hurt he hates my house and that wouldn't anyone make arrangements to return their exes things if it was bothering their current partner? It's as though the issues are being over looked here. Any advice would be appreciated as I truly am confused under my disappointment and sadness as I do not want to break up. Thank you.
"... to see if he still has feelings for you"? LOL

Tell him not to call anymore after he moves out.

Y'all haven't known each other long enough to move in together anyway.
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,652 posts, read 19,968,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
He said he's planning on leaving me but wants to keep up appearances and will see if he still has feelings for me in a few days. I feel sad as I was planning a life with him but I am also confused and further hurt how he can be so cold so fast. .

Yeah, I'd be asking how he feels after my big ol boot kicked him in the okole.

You moved in too fast, you don't know this man. You made a mistake, he needs to move out.
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,322 posts, read 8,363,585 times
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The house is just an excuse. He's not into you. Having him move in before you've even dated a full year is almost always a mistake, and unfortunately you're seeing the downside.

I strongly suggest that you encourage him to move out, and then have no further contact with him. Otherwise, he may sustain the relationship for his own benefit, but I think he'd only be using you - it almost certainly won't be love. Sorry.
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:20 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,837 times
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It's hard for me to believe he doesn't love me. I guess it can be shut down just like that? Maybe that's my confusion. I don't want to understand he doesn't love me. Thank you for the responses.
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,253 posts, read 41,844,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idkeither View Post
It's hard for me to believe he doesn't love me. I guess it can be shut down just like that? Maybe that's my confusion. I don't want to understand he doesn't love me. Thank you for the responses.
It's more likely that he never really did love you. Love doesn't behave the way he has behaved; the way either one of you behaved.

You probably both rode a wave of infatuation.

How old are you?
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:23 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,837 times
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Oh and I think he won't call after moving out. We have split before and he's good at respecting my not wanting to talk.
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:24 PM
 
252 posts, read 88,837 times
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We are both in our early 40s
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Old 06-16-2017, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,652 posts, read 19,968,456 times
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Tell me no kids living with either of you?
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Old 06-16-2017, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,253 posts, read 41,844,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Tell me no kids living with either of you?
***crosses fingers***
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