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I understand you don't want to hurt his feelings but you have to consider your current place in life. You have a job, a place to live, you can pay your bills, etc. None of that applies to him. You worked hard to get to where you are and you can't allow anyone to destroy what you worked so hard to build on your own.
This guy is most definitely NOT relationship material, and likely never will be. If you get in any deeper, you'll regret it. It sounds like he's clinging to you like a life raft. Maybe he thinks he can go from depending on his mom to depending on you. Do yourself a favor and end it. Your reasons are legit.
This guy is no different than any other. He has qualities that you like, and qualities you don't like. As with every other person, you need to determine which outweighs the other.
People are going to chime in with strong opinions on this subject, but remember, they know much less about this situation than you do and you don't know what to do, so how could they possibly?
If you don't know now there are a few options that I can see
1) Find out more information
2) End it
Why isn't he collecting Social Security /Disability Insurance? He's claiming he's disabled, and that's why he can't work. He can be physically disabled or mentally disabled.
If he has no job and no income, why can't he get medical assistance? If it's because he lives with his mother, then why doesn't he get a simple job he CAN perform that provides Insurance? Walmart workers get health care insurance, he can stock shelves. He has to start somewhere, unless he's happy where he is, living with an enabling mother.
The fact that he isn't starting anywhere and hasn't, is really the red flag.
It is home construction. Apparently he has done those jobs with some success in the past.
I have seen pictures of him playing football in college uniforms. His family confirms it, too.
Have you at least googled him? If he played football on a university level there'd be some record on the internet--a roster, a team photo, a student newspaper article, etc.
The insurance thing is interesting--he's exactly the kind of case the ACA is supposed to help.
For me, it would be an issue that he seems to have no ambition. Sure, he's got limitations, but instead of finding a niche and leveraging his skills into some kind employment, he's content to live like teenager.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 06-24-2017 at 03:27 PM..
Time to break off this relationship before it gets any deeper. You will have to sacrifice a lot to be with him. You are not equals. You will be acting as the caregiver and parent.
He will continue to latch onto you because you are the best thing that has ever happened to him. He will never find anyone as tolerant as you.
Run fast and hard. You will only wallow in misery later on.
Why isn't he collecting Social Security /Disability Insurance? He's claiming he's disabled, and that's why he can't work. He can be physically disabled or mentally disabled.
If he has no job and no income, why can't he get medical assistance? If it's because he lives with his mother, then why doesn't he get a simple job he CAN perform that provides Insurance? Walmart workers get health care insurance, he can stock shelves. He has to start somewhere, unless he's happy where he is, living with an enabling mother.
The fact that he isn't starting anywhere and hasn't, is really the red flag.
He literally has a seizure going into walmart. It's the fluorescent lights. He is really limited. I've seen it with my own eyes (the physical impairment)
He literally has a seizure going into walmart. It's the fluorescent lights. He is really limited. I've seen it with my own eyes (the physical impairment)
Then he's disabled. He can collect Disabilty to live on. He can work in a low lit liquor store or a more acceptably lit place that provides insurance.
The solution to his problems is not to live with his mother and depend on her and do nothing-- unless that is what he CHOOSES.You have to know that.
I'm just hoping that when I break it off that he won't make his mom bring him to town and then go apesh!t crazy on me.
You are under no obligation to answer the door or your phone.
There was a time when I didn't answer my front door, period. I told several people I totally trusted to always come to the back door, and I always checked the camera before I answered the back door.
That sort of habit saved me some real grief several times.
Even better, maintain a PO box and DO NOT tell new people where you live until you've known them for awhile and can trust them with your home address.
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