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It'd even be nice to find some people to play in a band with again. That used to be a big part of my life, but due to physical issues I don't think I could hold my own to bring the rock much these days.
Griffis, please forgive me if I'm misjudging your age, but if you're one of us old(er) farts (60+), I hope you'll follow up on this and find other musicians to jam with. Last year, I started acoustic guitar lessons after abandoning it as a teenager and have discovered that I still have a bit of musicality, and I'm enjoying it more than I ever imagined. Have also made some new friends - we only sound good to ourselves, but we don't care
Griffis, please forgive me if I'm misjudging your age, but if you're one of us old(er) farts (60+), I hope you'll follow up on this and find other musicians to jam with. Last year, I started acoustic guitar lessons after abandoning it as a teenager and have discovered that I still have a bit of musicality, and I'm enjoying it more than I ever imagined. Have also made some new friends - we only sound good to ourselves, but we don't care
Best wishes to you!
Oh, that is sweet of you...thank you! I'm 48. I can still play a little guitar and ukulele. If my hands get shaky or arthritic enough, I'll take up harmonica or ocarina or something. I will always make music. Would be cool to find others to jam with...who knows...
I do this with most big decisions. I have never done it with a relationship. Like someone said just doing a quick temperature check such as am I better with the person or not.
I pointed out in my post, my ex. Back THEN one did not live together before, FOR SURE. We went from parents' home to marriage home and did not KNOW the person hardly...maybe got together for the same religion and security etc.
There are many reasons, then there are relationships that make it for a while and then end, etc etc etc.
It's great that SOME of you have great long lasting partners, so far.
Can anyone truly KNOW another person inside and out...unless the other tells them their innermost thoughts. I don't think so. And so many "put up" with their other half. For their reasons.
I'd rather be alone then have to make a pro and con list to see if I should be with my husband. I'm sure we both looked at the pros and cons BEFORE marriage.
Your husband left you for another woman, I would think that would weigh heavily in the con list. Not trying to be mean, but that's a big con. (unintentional pun)
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No, I haven't literally made a list, but I basically made a mental one when sort of involved with somebody and getting fed up. I essentially told that person to work on some major negatives, which was met with a "You're not worth it" type of response. That person I strongly suspect hasn't had much relationship success since and probably remains highly dysfunctional in other aspects of life. Some bad things can cancel out major positives - it's a shame.
This leads into a thread idea I'd thought of weeks ago. Comparing the positives of exes, to determine what qualities you really like and need to be happy with someone, especially in the long run. It's worth considering that they might overlap greatly with things about yourself that you like. More self-knowledge is always a good thing, in my book. It also can help you get over some failed relationships.
How my husband ever decided that my pros outweigh my cons I will never know.
I owe him a lot of pros.
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Sometimes they don't become apparent until you get together with them.
That goes for most (if not all) relationships. It takes a long time to really get to know someone, and when you think you know someone well, you'll never truly never get to them as well as you think. Unless, of course, you can read their mind.
As for making a list after breaking up.....sounds like crying over spilled milk, imo. You could very well have a lot "pros" and have just one "con" thats a dealbreaker. i.e infidelity, drug/physical abuse, etc.
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