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Ok so I'm 28 male and still a virgin, I went away to college where I had a few chances to lose it but it they were with people I wasn't attracted to. Over the years I've made out with a bunch of girls and I've even done [snip] with a few girls I liked a dated, but never was able to take it all the way.
What I'm wondering is if girls will still see this as completely inexperienced, and would that be a turnoff?
Am I ever going to get laid or should I just resign myself to being a virgin?
What do you do when you suck at something to get better? You practice. You fail. You practice more. You fail more. You practice more. You fail less. You practice more, you get a little success. You practice more, you reach your goal.
You need to get over your fear of rejection. This is something that every man has stuck in his head you will have to just deal with it. Get out there and start talking talking talking. Don't buy girls drinks and don't buy them dinners. Start making moves and getting physical quickly. You will fail and you will get rejected. It will be ackward and you will get embarassed. But through being bold and practice, you will start getting better and you will start having success. If you aren't willing to sacrifice your self esteem/ego then you deserve to stay a virgin or be stuck with girls you are not attracted to.
My proof? I had sex with a hot woman twice yesterday who I'm not in a relationship with. I made moves. I was bold. I was sexual from the start. I let her know I was interested. It didn't cost me any money. No drinks, no dinners.
I know a guy who stayed a virgin till he was 29 or 30. I don't know the details as I met him in his 30s. He was really religious during his 20s and changed his mind. He no longer has this challenge and has sexual relationships now. It'll happen when it should happen, but don't get so hung up on it.
As an FYI this guy was a late bloomer, attractive but a little young looking, it took him sime time to "grow into his looks" since he looked like a teen in his 20s. That probably made it a bit harder.
part of my problem has also been me struggling with depression if that sheds any light on anything. It's kind of a vicious cycle part of my depression is my inability to get laid makes me depressed, which in turn makes it harder for me to put myself out there and actually get laid.
Im totally not getting it. You had a few chances to get laid with the women you Mod cut., but your depression prohibited penis penetration in the heat of the moment?
And if you were struggling with depression all this time, how did you manage to get with these past women?
Im so confused.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-01-2017 at 01:17 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
part of my problem has also been me struggling with depression if that sheds any light on anything. It's kind of a vicious cycle part of my depression is my inability to get laid makes me depressed, which in turn makes it harder for me to put myself out there and actually get laid.
Only you can change your mindset. I was a more introverted type of guy growing up, and was somewhat of a late bloomer not datinguntil I turned 20. Dated a couple of 17 year olds (I stayed home for college, and my college was small and most people drove and lived all over the city. Most girls there were paired up already anyways and the social scene sucked) who were seniors in high school. It was very hard to know they were more experienced than me, even though they both claimed to be virgins. Dating for me was difficult over the next four years, but I did date and finally got into a relationship with my now wife, mostly because I could relate to her. After a decade of marriage things are so-so. She is an extreme introvert and I allowed this behavior to continue and manifest. She can't deal with kids so she changed her mind seven years into the marriage. Not sure if we'll make it. I need more from her and she freaks out because heaven forbid we do something together on a weekend when she just has to do her cleaning and lawn stuff. She is trying to change, but we'll see. All I can say is that you need to get out there, change your attitude, try to find friend groups, etc.. If your past is what is causing you to be depressed, try forgiving yourself and focus on the future.
Im totally not getting it. You had a few chances to get laid with the women you [snip], but your depression prohibited penis penetration in the heat of the moment?
And if you were struggling with depression all this time, how did you manage to get with these past women?
Im so confused.
Yeah, you remember ... in his other thread ... the girls supposedly had hang-ups about actually going all the way, as he explains in this post from the other identical thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackstraw89
You're not the first person on here to make that assumption, and I'll say it again, that's not the problem, The girls I really liked didn't want to go that far plain and simple, they both had intimacy issues, I was all set, that was on them. and another girl as I said I wouldn't have felt right going all the way with her, because she wanted us to be something that we were never going to be
Then the one girl who WOULD have had sex with him, he got all conscientious and wouldn't do it because she had feelings, which is probably good but in the long run could have solved his "problem."
OP, it sounds like you haven't made much progress in the last month, especially emotionally. You'll just have to be patient or, like HC suggested, pay for it so you can at least shed the "virgin" label that worries you so much.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-01-2017 at 01:18 PM..
Reason: Off-topic.
Then the one girl who WOULD have had sex with him, he got all conscientious and wouldn't do it because she had feelings, which is probably good but in the long run could have solved his "problem."
OP, it sounds like you haven't made much progress in the last month, especially emotionally. You'll just have to be patient or, like HC suggested, pay for it so you can at least shed the "virgin" label that worries you so much.
[snip][/quote]
I find the Millennial generation a bit weird. Its really our generation to blame; we did too much damn drugs and had unprotected sex, Lol
Only you can change your mindset. I was a more introverted type of guy growing up, and was somewhat of a late bloomer not datinguntil I turned 20. Dated a couple of 17 year olds (I stayed home for college, and my college was small and most people drove and lived all over the city. Most girls there were paired up already anyways and the social scene sucked) who were seniors in high school. It was very hard to know they were more experienced than me, even though they both claimed to be virgins. Dating for me was difficult over the next four years, but I did date and finally got into a relationship with my now wife, mostly because I could relate to her. After a decade of marriage things are so-so. She is an extreme introvert and I allowed this behavior to continue and manifest. She can't deal with kids so she changed her mind seven years into the marriage. Not sure if we'll make it. I need more from her and she freaks out because heaven forbid we do something together on a weekend when she just has to do her cleaning and lawn stuff. She is trying to change, but we'll see. All I can say is that you need to get out there, change your attitude, try to find friend groups, etc.. If your past is what is causing you to be depressed, try forgiving yourself and focus on the future.
Sounds like you should just divorce her already. Not even joking.
As for the op, it sounds like you're very choosy. I can't imagine how you'd get to.the point of Mod cut. pleasuring a woman for an extended period of time without her at some point wanted to **** thereafter. If you get them.nice and set they'll ask for it. Granted, I'd say there are some who would let you awakwardly get up and go. In any event, I'd say you're fine since you've been able to have relationships with women and others have wanted to have sex with you. That's more than so.e of us can say. Be patience and just "ask for it" once they have their panties off. And don't be so choosy if it's dark g you up to pop your cherry.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 08-01-2017 at 01:21 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
Im totally not getting it. You had a few chances to get laid with the women you Mod cut., but your depression prohibited penis penetration in the heat of the moment?
And if you were struggling with depression all this time, how did you manage to get with these past women?
Im so confused.
no my depression has made it more difficult for me to approach women, that doesn't mean impossible, the girls I dated I usually met through friends thus making the approach easier. just because someone has depression doesn't mean they're incapable of doing something it just makes most things more difficult.
depression is a very complex thing.
and no my depression had nothing to do with me not going all the way with those girls. that was on them, they didn't want to go farther because they had their own issues.
You know people keep trying to paint my situation or look at it like it's simple but it's not. I didn't sleep with the girls I could have because one I didn't want to hurt her feelings and wasn't physically attracted to her. I'm sorry that I didn't want to bang the first person that came along and offered (call me old fashioned but I want to do it on my own terms with a person I really want to sleep with). and you know what I'm kinda proud of that.
and I've had some bad luck with the girlfriends I've had, they both had hang ups that kept it from going all the way, you can call me a liar or just not believe me, but that's the god's honest truth.
and as for those who say I should get a hooker to "get it over with" I don't want to "Get it over with" it's not a chore is something I want to enjoy and feel good about, and buying a hooker would give me neither of those satisfactions so thank you but no thank you. now please stop suggesting it.
I'm sorry that I have standards of wanting to at least be attracted to people I sleep with, and that I have the moral fiber to not use someone who has feelings for me and considers me a friend. but it seems like I'm being ridiculed for that.
Does it frustrate me that I'm still a virgin to the point where sometimes I need to vent about it? yeah it does
Do I think that I'm less of a person because of it? Hell no and if you do, good for you I really don't care
Well, I hope you do get to experience it sooner rather than later. At that point, you may realize that the act itself is overhyped, and it's probably the connection between you and the other person that is more important. There is nothing wrong with being and staying a virgin.
I'd imagine you're having difficulty with your girlfriends because of your depression. I'd look to managing that first before focusing on your virginity. It's also possible that because of your personal issues, the only people who are attracted to you, and you attract are also people with depression or some other disorders, which doesn't help your pursuit of a "normal" sexual relationship.
nothing wrong with having standards, but you also have to understand the risks of putting "p*ssy on a pedestal". if you continuously wait, you may end up with nobody.
And unless the relationships were for extended periods of time, I'd hesitate to call them your girfriends without being intimate. If you were together for months, I'd call it dating at the most.
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