Do you think its disrespectful? (marriage, girl, husband, young)

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by ShanesG

I'm the OP's BF. I honestly don't believe that commenting on a picture, is any diff. than guys talking to their buddies about a hot chick that walked by. OR you girls with yopur GF's about a Hot guy that just walked by with huge pecs and arms. If you say you don't or at least admit you don't think something, then you are a robot. I believe i am a very genuine person, and have respect not only for my GF but to everyone who shows the same to me.

There are differences, for one you are seeking out the pictures of women to comment on, it is an intentional pursuit, versus seeing someone walk by on the street. If a woman parked herself for x number of hours a day at the men's gym and commented on the guys, that is different than seeing a cute guy at work. So it is intentional, sought after, pursued.

Another difference is she has said, this bothers me, and you continue to do it anyway. Not that she is your boss or anything, but it does show a level of respect to a sweetheart or friend when their comfort level is taken into account. To ignore and disregard a person's request shows a lack of respect for the person. Not that she is your boss, but it does show a level of consideration for the person in relaltionship.

Another is it is NOT A SHOW OF RESPECT to view and rate and ogle and otherwise comment on women's bodies. This is something very hard for many men to get, but it is about mistreatment, debasement, humiliation, objectification, reducing the woman to an object, violence, and rape. Not that you are personally doing those things but it is a charged issue and something as benign seeming to you as looking at naked women on a calendar or website does cross into porn does feed into and perpetuate violence against women at many levels.

Again, not accusing you of those things, but if you are willing to take the time to listen to your girlfriend, talk to other women in your family or circle, friends, mothers, cousins, aunties, hear their stories, hear their concerns, it might give you a broader deeper understanding of why it is a charged issue, rather than dismissing it as "hey no big deal."

If a man wants to really show his respect for women, or for an individual women that is his loved one,he will choose not to participate in those activities. PERIOD. THAT SHOWS RESPECT FOR WOMEN. And a man who can show that strength, respect, wisdom, and maturity in making such a choice.....well, he's a REAL MAN that women the rest of your life can cherish and respect in kind.

Thank you for taking the time to post and participate in the discussion.

[miu]

Originally Posted by MaggieZ

Well ShanesG, I think there's a problem when she feels she has to ask for a stranger's advice rather than talk to you about the problem. She's talked to you and got nowhere, she says...there's a problem in your communication or you guys are just not compatible, love may have nothing to do with it. Read her original post one more time and I still say all that posting ex's pics is wrong and how can you stand to deal with people who do post those pics and whom you say you don't agree with online then? You say you're not like that, right? I'm just basing what I say on what I've read.

MaggieZ - I don't think that his girlfriend coming to this forum to ask for advice means anything dire about her relationship with her boyfriend. She feels one way and he feels differently. She was just asking for some feedback from other people, and so see if she was alone in feeling as she does... and besides, it's anonymous advice. Every couple is got a different dynamic going. Then allow for the fact that good communication skills get better with time and experience.

Well ShaneG thinks that his actions completely normal and innocent, and there are women that wouldn't have a problem with his behaviour. And his girlfriend feels a bit differently, and certainly there are both other women and some men that are just as conservative in their outlook on life. There is no right or wrong in this situation, only that these two need to figure out how truly compatible they are for each other as a couple.

[leslie_downs]

Originally Posted by blondesexlove

I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months now and sometimes he does things that really hurt me, even though I've told him over and over again that it does.

He joined a forum for cars a while back and just recently I went onto the website to see what it was all about. I went into some off topic forums and saw a bunch of posts of naked chicks. He posted comments on them saying how sexy they were and using those "drooling" smily faces. Anyways I have told him time and time again that it hurts me, but he always says it just fun and games. So after I confronted him about it, I see that he is still on forums where guys post naked pictures of there ex's and he was asking the guys on there to send more pics of the girls. And hes been going on websites and voting on "which chick is hottest" and stuff like that.

I just dont know if I am being overly sensitive, or if anyone agrees that it is slighly disrespectful... especially because I have told him time and time again that it bothers me. What does everyone else think?

yes i definitey thinks that's disrespectful, expecially if you told him how it makes you feel. he's completely disregarding your feelings for his own selfish reasons. i've explained to my bf how i dont like him looking at porn and when he finally got to see how upset it made me he stopped looking at it. but if your man keeps looking at, not caring how you feel that's definitely not respecting you. do you want to be with a man that doesnt respect you and isnt willing to give up something that really hurts you because he enjoys it or for whatever reasoning he has? expecially the comments he makes to other women, i dont care if he doesnt know them, if you're in a serious relationship you should not be saying things like that. or even be looking at other girl in a sexually desirable way.

[Exedous]

Put a picture of a naked dude on his desktop.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Exedous

Put a picture of a naked dude on his desktop.

I'm sorry, but I disagree, playing games doesn't solve the problem...and if she did this, then she would be a hipocrate and no better then what she is complaining about. 2 wrongs do not make a right....

I agree with the others...why would you continually do something that hurts your companion?

Sounds to me, as if he's a bit addicted to this site...

quite frankly, after reading all these posts, I don't believe they are morally compatible. Which can sometimes make or break a relationship...

Just my thoughts,
Creme

[Rhett_Butler]

Originally Posted by cremebrulee

I'm sorry, but I disagree, playing games doesn't solve the problem...and if she did this, then she would be a hipocrate and no better then what she is complaining about. 2 wrongs do not make a right....

I think your sense-of-humor bone is broken or something. This has been happening to you a lot of late as I'm near positive that this was NOT a serious suggestion.... LIGHTEN UP!!!

xoxoxo

[another_hot-day]

Originally Posted by BeerNPoker

I think your sense-of-humor bone is broken or something. This has been happening to you a lot of late as I'm near positive that this was NOT a serious suggestion.... LIGHTEN UP!!!

xoxoxo

I thought the same thing.....

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by another_hot-day

I thought the same thing.....

yeah, how was I supposed to know? Besides, others suggested doing to him what he is doing to her, so I put in my 2 cents....LOL

big hugs
creme

[neonwattagelimit]

All right, dude, I'm not a whole lot older than you, and I don't think looking at photos on naked girls on the internet is that big a deal. Provided two things, though - a) you don't spend an inordinate amount of time on it, and b) you do it when you are by yourself. It is very disrespectful to look at that stuff when your gf is anywhere nearby, even if she is doing her hair or watching a TV show you don't like. If there are some brief times when you are not in the same room, surely you can find something else to do.

I think people need to be able to separate fantasy from reality, and I do believe that most guys can put that stuff in a little box called "fantasy," stow it away in the back of their minds and not spend a whole lot of time thinking about it. But when you are at your girlfriend's house you do not oogle pictures of other women on the internet, just as when you go out to dinner with her you don't say "hey, the waitress has a nice rack." It's not just a matter of social convention - it's a matter of respect.

Encouraging other guys to post photos of their exes is questionable, too, but that's another issue entirely. Basically, I think that what you do when you're alone with that stuff is your business, and provided you are the kind of guy who can separate fantasy from reality she should try to accept that (and if she ever engages in similar behavior, you should be accepting of that, as well). However, you should not go anywhere near it when you are at her house, even if she's not technically in the room with you.

[beergoddess]

E.xcuses, excuses, excuses. Shes apparently told you she doesnt like you looking and commenting on half naked pics of chicks. Bottom line is you need to stop. Its DISRESPECTFUL. I feel sorry for her. Why cause I,m married to someone like you and have been for almost 14 years. I,ve made my bed and I,m laying in it. However I hope she reads this and realizes that she doesnt have to. She deserves better. I hope she gets it.