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I dont think people realise how culture, religion, education, and upbringing makes such a difference to our personalities. Misunderstandings are easy to make unless both take this into account. It is not always a good thing to live in a culturally diverse nation.
In the past, I've been told I should move to a place where it's easier to "put myself out there." I don't drive, and, where I currently live, the public transit system only works well for commuting to work. So, I don't have much of a social life.
However, other than being perpetually single, I like it here, and don't want to uproot the rest of my life for the slim chance I might have better luck finding a relationship somewhere else.
Do you ever feel like if you lived in another city, town or country that you would have a better chance of meeting someone? Do you think your personality, looks etc would be more accepted overseas or in another state, rather than it is back in your hometown?
Has this worked out for anyone? I always like reading about these kind of stories. This is something I thought about randomly today, I figured it would make an interesting thread.
Yes and yes. I click better with women from the East Coast and definitely have way better luck there. I'm actively trying to move. The times I've been to NYC or back to Atlanta, my tinder, bumble, okc have blown up. Then they find out I'm visiting and we don't meet. I've gotta move. I've shut it all down now where I am because its such a waste of time, money, and effort.
In the fine Terry Gilliam film "The Fisher King," Jeff Bridges' character's gf says something to the effect that some people might sit in adjoining cubicles at work for years, would make a perfect couple, and never come together, while some people might be on opposite ends of the world and nothing could keep them apart.
Just to say, not sure to what degree space as in distance or demographics play a role. I suppose if you were to research the town most in tune with you spiritually and politically, female-to-male ratios, size, general vibe, etc, your chances of successful dating may (or may not) improve, but where is the fun in that? I mean, analyzing probabilities for love connections based on this or that data?
Hunt where you live first, at least. The universe will unfold the way it will. Granted, we humans can also exert our will on the world around us.
Now I think of it, I can see where place might be involved. If a person has grown up in the same town their entire lives, knows everyone, has maybe already been real intimate with a few of the citizenry, etc., that could be a bum deal.
I've never had that problem because I've moved every 2-3 years my whole life. Sometimes a new place is great. Sometimes you just need to throw yourself out there. 'Cause the universe.
Yes and yes. I click better with women from the East Coast and definitely have way better luck there. I'm actively trying to move. The times I've been to NYC or back to Atlanta, my tinder, bumble, okc have blown up. Then they find out I'm visiting and we don't meet. I've gotta move. I've shut it all down now where I am because its such a waste of time, money, and effort.
Atlguy, I wasn't talking about you. 😀
Seriously though. Here again, the place you are does matter in ways.. Even Tulsa is far better than OKC. Have you tried going up there? It might be worth it to you. I've lived everywhere but spent more time in Oklahoma than anywhere else. I enjoyed Tulsa a lot, Norman was decent until the 90s when it just became South OKC.
But I never gelled with OKC. I think I'd rather live in Detroit.
I am originally from the Midwest, now living on the East Coast, and I never had a problem getting dates, but keeping a relationship or developing one was a big problem, and I always felt if I were back in the Mid West, I would have been in a relationship. Funny thing is the woman I am with now is also from the same state I am from, and so far we are having a wonderful time together, and I honestly don't think I have ever connected with someone as well as I have connected with her. So I don't know if my location was a problem, but it did seem to be the case.
Ive been to and lived in numerous places, domestic and abroad, and never struggled in finding a woman to date. Not to say it easy, because dating has never been easy, for either gender.
I would never relocate for dating purposes; I find that extreme, and quite frankly... desperate. But that's just me.
Allow me to disagree.. I live in a place where I had a hard time finding my kind of people, despite the fact that I'm quite outgoing. I moved here for work, not because I love the area. This is a small town with a more rural and conservative culture, and most people my age are married with kids; a large percentage of the locals are seniors, and those who are young and single are usually not college educated, which, for me, is a requirement. So yes, I am moving to a city to increase my chances of meeting someone, and no, I don't think that's desperate; I think it's logical.
Not if the people you're interested in dating don't reside in your area in decent numbers. Like for those who are CFBC living in an area where most people couple up and have children by their mid-late 20s. This applies to many areas of the Midwest and South.
If I were a religious fundamentalist of the Duggar et al. variety, it would be pretty difficult to find a suitable helpmate in D.C. or many parts of the Bay Area. My husband preferred to date non-theist women, and when he lived in one of the more conservative areas of CA, he had a pretty tough time finding actual matches. Like, no matches. Since it was practically a requirement of his at that time, living in a location where people are very religious and conservative was pretty much a non-starter.
He had better experiences when he moved back to his home city.
Yes, I thought about it. Also, a lot of people tell me I should pursue people similar to my own background (Eastern European) and I am frequently told that I will have little success with white american chicks. I personally dont agree with that but I am not ruling it out as one of the possible factors.
So, theoretically, I would have a greater rate of success if I lived in any of the communities that feature prominent amount of immigrants like myself.
Allow me to disagree.. I live in a place where I had a hard time finding my kind of people, despite the fact that I'm quite outgoing. I moved here for work, not because I love the area. This is a small town with a more rural and conservative culture, and most people my age are married with kids; a large percentage of the locals are seniors, and those who are young and single are usually not college educated, which, for me, is a requirement. So yes, I am moving to a city to increase my chances of meeting someone, and no, I don't think that's desperate; I think it's logical.
I agree. It's not desperate, it's smart. If I know my type, and where I'm likely to meet said type, it makes sense to explore those options. If you're not casting a wide net hoping to catch just any fish that's cute, "nice" and fun, it only makes sense to target one's search according to what they like.
I've always maintained that my experiences were shaped by where I lived. I lived in very diverse, multicultural areas with a lot of transplants and my overall type. I lived in metro cities, which is huge for me.
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