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03-11-2008, 02:13 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Mar 2008
2 posts, read 2,296 times
Reputation: 10
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18 months dating -- time to quit?
Am I wasting my time?
I'm in my 40s (divorced, no kids), dating a fellow who's 40 (never married, no kids) for 18 months now. He's not sure if he wants to be married, still "getting used" to the idea and says he is "warming" to it. I am clear that I do want the stability of a marriage and am tiring of waiting. He just moved from a place 60 minutes away to 90 minutes away, assuring me he's still interested in seeing each other.
I would really appreciate some perspective from an outside source.
Thank you,
Lynnie
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03-11-2008, 03:30 PM
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Senior Member
Status:
"still unpacking..."
(set 4 days ago)
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Join Date: Nov 2007
3,066 posts, read 2,171,796 times
Reputation: 2682
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Did you especially want British advice -  - in which case we are honoured, or did you post on the UK forum by mistake?
Either way - I would give him the Spanish Archer (El Bow) and see what happens. If he is really keen, he will come back. Otherwise don't waste any more of your precious time on someone who is only 'warming up'. You might be missing out on something hot!  |
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03-11-2008, 04:12 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Mar 2008
2 posts, read 2,296 times
Reputation: 10
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British advice, please
Yes, "British advice" is what is called for. He's a Brit, and I'm living in the UK.
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03-12-2008, 01:54 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Austin, TX
1,185 posts, read 891,719 times
Reputation: 326
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I'm no Brit but him moving even further away from you speaks volumes.
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03-12-2008, 02:28 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2008
951 posts, read 775,112 times
Reputation: 239
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I think you should open the relationship up to seeing other people. If you like him you can still date him while he figures out what he wants. If you are still available when he decides well then you can see if you are a match then.
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03-12-2008, 02:42 PM
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Like Hungry Hungry Hippos
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: San Fernando Valley, CA
1,679 posts, read 1,467,178 times
Reputation: 541
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Quote:
Originally Posted by b75
I think you should open the relationship up to seeing other people. If you like him you can still date him while he figures out what he wants. If you are still available when he decides well then you can see if you are a match then.
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I agree. After 18 months are you ready to marry this guy? Or just want him to say "I'd like to get married someday" so you feel a bit more secure? Whatever the case, open it up and see other people, but don't completely kick him to the curb because he could be someone special. |
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03-12-2008, 02:54 PM
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Nuttin a 2 step wont fix!
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
1,853 posts, read 1,195,276 times
Reputation: 820
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Quote:
Originally Posted by b75
I think you should open the relationship up to seeing other people. If you like him you can still date him while he figures out what he wants. If you are still available when he decides well then you can see if you are a match then.
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I would have to double agree here... maybe he needs a swift kick in the pants to see you mean business. In either case are you willing to lose him? I mean if you open up the dating thing.. it may wind up to him leaving.. but on thinking about it .. is it really a loss?
Me personally... get rid of him.. he doesnt appear to be really interested although he keeps you hooked with some of his lines... |
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03-12-2008, 02:57 PM
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You're unique just like everyone else in the world
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Derby, KS
3,250 posts, read 1,981,234 times
Reputation: 992
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Maybe you need to dump him and review the Cougar's thread.  |
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03-12-2008, 04:07 PM
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Use your computer to help cure cancer.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: NJ
5,111 posts, read 3,492,853 times
Reputation: 2002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynnie08
Am I wasting my time?
I'm in my 40s (divorced, no kids), dating a fellow who's 40 (never married, no kids) for 18 months now. He's not sure if he wants to be married, still "getting used" to the idea and says he is "warming" to it. I am clear that I do want the stability of a marriage and am tiring of waiting. He just moved from a place 60 minutes away to 90 minutes away, assuring me he's still interested in seeing each other.
I would really appreciate some perspective from an outside source.
Thank you,
Lynnie
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What about kids? Is it something you want or don't or if it happens, it happens?
How often are you seeing him? Were you seeing him more before the move?
If it was me, I'd also date other men. I don't stand for it, if we both have different ideas on life like that. Why waste your time when you could be out there finding Mr right? If the guy leaves when you tell him you want to date other men then don't let the door hit him in the rear. If this guy hasn't at least asked you to move in with him, honey it isn't happening. Maybe once he doesn't see you as much he'll realize just what he had, if he doesn't, be glad you didn't waste any more time.
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03-12-2008, 05:35 PM
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Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
123 posts, read 71,434 times
Reputation: 37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynnie08
Am I wasting my time?
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yes, but not because of him
Quote:
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I'm...(divorced). I do want the stability of a marriage
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you are divorced but want the stability of marriage. please explain |
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