Dating (online too) in the US sucks - racism / flakes (Asians, marriage)

[TooncesTheDrivingCat]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I haven't paid for a site since match in the mid 00s and then Onion Personals and CL came around. No reason to spend a penny on a paid site.

Yeah, there's always great people to meet on CL, no freaks at all....

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by TooncesTheDrivingCat

Yeah, there's always great people to meet on CL, no freaks at all....

In the early to mid 00s (2003, etc) on CL there weren't bots, or spammers, or whatever. It was a totally mainstream way to date. Had some of my best relationships from CL and The Onion personals, one lasting about 8 years that has become one of my best friends.


Today it is probably very different, which is why I mentioned the time period.

Originally Posted by Warszawa

I paid for a month of Tinder Plus or whatever it's called, and it was worth every penny imo. Gets you much more matches and you see results mad quick. Wouldnt pay for the other aps they have there tho

Last think I want is more matches on tinder, there are dozens sitting there I've never written to already.

[MinivanDriver]

Right. Because your looks, personality, bearing, and a host of other factors had zip to do with it.

[Bo_Lorem]

I don't know about racism. I think people are way to quick to pull this card to justify things when I think in reality the incidence is much much lower. I know for me personally I absolutely adore Asian ladies. I've played around with the African-skinned ladies also. No racism here Now culturally we most likely won't match as well. So as usual, I think racism is getting the blame when in reality it's a different culture.

I think online dating generally sucks for people is because of the method of meeting. Generally people meet in groups, through friends, affiliations, etc. So there is a level of communion already going on and some level of relationship.

With online dating, it's a social experiment for cold calls to the opposite sex. Two complete strangers looking at a picture and profile of how someone wants to project themselves which too often doesn't meet with reality.

I'd love to see the true actual response rate to real people on online dating sites, how many first dates, second, etc in comparison to meeting people in real life.

Online is just another tool. I tend to find the humor in it with some of the experiences I've had lol

[SunAndRain808]

Originally Posted by AprilFlowers17

Well, it sucks for YOU. But, dating in "America" doesn't suck for a lot of other people. If dating in "America" doesn't work for you, then go somewhere else and try dating over there. Just consider for a moment, that maybe the common denominator as to why 'dating in America' sucks for you could very well be YOU. Don't paint "America" with such a broad brush with regard to dating; because if it truly did suck for MOST people, they would NOT be dating here in "America".

Yes, I would like to go elsewhere, to another country to try to work, but I don't have the money and resources to leave this country. So boring, lonely, nothing much to do here. I was just stating that the US sucks for dating for my racial/sex specific group. That's all, no need to get mad at me for my opinion. Sheesh.

[SunAndRain808]

Originally Posted by MinivanDriver

Right. Because your looks, personality, bearing, and a host of other factors had zip to do with it.

How does personality play a factor in online dating?

Online dating or dating apps main factor, the "make it or break it" factor, are your photos. Period. No matter if you have a decent-paying job or if you went to a top-ranked university, you still get weeded out based on your skin color. Oh well, that's the awful truth for living in this country, for me.

[CSD610]

OP, I wonder if it is your attitude that is seen and felt by others.
Our Chinese *from China* Daughter In Law never had any trouble dating anyone, thankfully she fell in love with our Son and we absolutely adore her.

[SunAndRain808]

Originally Posted by timberline742

I haven't paid for a site since match in the mid 00s and then Onion Personals and CL came around. No reason to spend a penny on a paid site.

Dude, you're nuts if you use Craigslist to find dates!

Plenty of wackos post on craigslist! Big no no!

[SunAndRain808]

Originally Posted by CSD610

OP, I wonder if it is your attitude that is seen and felt by others.
Our Chinese *from China* Daughter In Law never had any trouble dating anyone, thankfully she fell in love with our Son and we absolutely adore her.

Well, due to yellow fever from your son fueled by hollywood and the media, your Chinese DAUGHTER (female!) has an EASIER chance of landing a date or getting married in this country!

If you read my initial post message carefully, I was talking about Asian MALES who are left out in the dark being single and why the US, while good for job opportunities, sucks for dating because of bigotry fueled by the media.

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by SunAndRain808

Well, due to yellow fever from your son, your Chinese DAUGHTER (female!) has a big chance of landing a date or getting married in this country!

If you read my initial post message carefully, I was talking about Asian MALES who are left out in the dark being single.

I did read your original post and honestly your complaints are no different than any other male on the planet who *knows* that they are absolutely a great catch and cannot figure out why the women they pursue are so ignorant that they cannot see clearly what a great catch you/they are.....


PS ~~ Perhaps the women you seek do not know what *yellow fever* is. Is it contagious? Do you get it from mosquitos? That phrase is so 1850's. Are you assuming that our Son is not Asian? Just from the words written here I bet there are more than one poster who can tell you exactly why you have dating issues. Does your girlfriend know you are still searching for dates on dating sites?