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Ugh. I doubt if the OP knew she was pregnant on the day she became pregnant ...it usually takes a couple of months and then going to a doctor to confirm. IME.
So really, just because she's only known for 3 months doesn't mean she's only 3 months pregnant.
I'm 22 years old and he's 26. We've been together for 4 years and I know he's my soul mate & best friend but I'm so nervous about telling him. We weren't planning on having a baby and I don't even know how it happened. I think I may have forgotten to take my birth control pill one time because I don't see how else it could have happened.
I'm freaking out because I don't know how he's going to react. I'll be honest and admit that kids and babies aren't my forte but I really don't want to have an abortion.
I already feel connected to my baby and I've only known about the pregnancy for 3 months. I'm still not showing so he doesn't suspect anything but every time I decide to tell him I just chicken out.
I feel like the more I put it off, the more hurt he'll be that I didn't tell him sooner. What's the best approach to take when telling him I'm pregnant?
There is no reason to be accidentally pregnant in this day and age except for irresponsibility. That being said, the best way to tell him is - tell him. I am pregnant and I don't know how it happened. (Well we know how it happened) but go with that line. What's he going to say? He is as responsible as you.
Snap out of it; OP. It’s not all about you anymore; there is a baby on the way.
Your first priority isn’t to worry about BF, you should be getting yourself to the doctor immediately. You’ve already lost an entire trimester’s worth of prenatal care but your biggest concern is what BF will think?
BF is a 26 year old man. 26 year old men know where babies come from & how to prevent them. You acted stupid by slacking on your BC & he acted stupid for trusting you (or anyone) to not be a slacker with BC.
How to tell him?? Say; “I’m pregnant” & tell him you’ll know more after your first appointment; which you will already have made.
I guess you’re lucky for having an incredibly easy pregnancy that even a soul mate couldn’t notice. I’m jealous: I puked my brains out & had the personality of a badger being poked with a stick every time I was pregnant; hiding it was not an option.
The closest experience I’ve had with a soul mate was with a guy who told ME that I was pregnant before I was even late. Totally incompetent as a father. If that’s what a soul mate is they are very over rated.
So; get with it. This is not the end of the world, you are not a kid anymore & you will survive. I graduated from college when I was 22; 9 months pregnant with # 4. But my pregnancy with # 3 was complicated with a condition that was potentially fatal for both baby & I & required close monitoring. Go to the doctor. If your going to bring a baby into this world, do it the right way.
Birth control fails sometimes. Even if taken correctly. Antibiotics for one thing, can cause it to be less effective. It's not exactly COMMON but any method of birth control whatsoever (except for not having PIV sex at all--unless you believe in immaculate conceptions) is not 100%
So you're gonna need to quickly set aside the "how could this happen" since it HAS HAPPENED.
Also, everybody, she might be past the point of safely getting an abortion anyways. She says she has known for 3 months, not that she is exactly 3 months pregnant.
OP, what you are feeling, the reluctance to consider abortion and the feeling of attachment for the life inside of you, is hormonal. It is nature. Nature is going to exert a powerful pull on your brain to not only carry and birth this baby, but to love and protect it. Understand as you consider your options, that the biggest part of your emotional response to this situation, is that you are on natural drugs right now. That is just how this works.
So. #1 advice--GO TO A DOCTOR. Do that ASAP. No matter what the course of action, you need to see a doctor. Carrying the baby to term? Need prenatal care. Considering abortion? Need to know if that is even an option at this point.
#2 advice--Talk to your partner. You really should have done this sooner. But since you aren't going to be able to go back in time or anything, you need to get it done now. It is a fact of being a sexually active adult that protection can fail even if people are trying their best to be responsible, and unplanned pregnancy can happen. So talk about who is to blame, how and why, is pointless. You two need to decide what happens NOW.
I'm sorry that you are facing difficult choices and circumstances. Best of luck to you.
Well I've told him and he's mad as hell. He doesn't believe me when I say that I forgot to take my pill, and then didn't know that I'd forgotten. He says that it's impossible to forget without knowing soon enough because of the way they're packaged (a pill for each day). I don't know what to tell him.
OP, if your boyfriend can't react the way mature, responsible sexually active adults who know there is a possibility if pregnancy unless they are sterile react, it is likely because you didn't act appropriately either. Concealing this info for months is not how mature, responsible people act.
Well I've told him and he's mad as hell. He doesn't believe me when I say that I forgot to take my pill, and then didn't know that I'd forgotten. He says that it's impossible to forget without knowing soon enough because of the way they're packaged (a pill for each day). I don't know what to tell him.
I think that bickering over the details of how it happened (trying to place blame) is childish, but he's got every right to be mad, because you should have told him a lot sooner.
Again, the thing that matters now is where do you go from here? Will he stay with you to raise a child, will you look into putting the baby up for adoption, what??
In my post I mentioned that you are drugged up on hormones right now. This is a fact. Mainly in this situation, I think you might need to consider adoption if the two of you can't handle parenthood...and your hormones will make that difficult. You'll be "in love" with the baby. You have to remember that even though this choice might be painful, it might be for the best, and the hormone-drugs will eventually be gone. I hope that whatever choice you wind up making, is one that everyone can be ok in.
I think that bickering over the details of how it happened (trying to place blame) is childish, but he's got every right to be mad, because you should have told him a lot sooner.
Again, the thing that matters now is where do you go from here? Will he stay with you to raise a child, will you look into putting the baby up for adoption, what??
Exactly. He's well within his rights to feel blindsided and upset, but pointing fingers at this point isn't helpful. That ship has sailed. You need to know if he's in or if he's out, and if he's in, what are you going to do?
Well I've told him and he's mad as hell. He doesn't believe me when I say that I forgot to take my pill, and then didn't know that I'd forgotten. He says that it's impossible to forget without knowing soon enough because of the way they're packaged (a pill for each day). I don't know what to tell him.
He has every right to be angry. That said, no birth control is 100% effective.
I just turned 61 last Saturday. The single greatest regret of my life is not having any kids.
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