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I do appreciate a handsome guy who obviously works at his good looks as well as being nice and all but I've never felt a sexual nor romantic attraction to other men. The closest would be to a pair of gay twins that I grew up with and maintained contact over the years. I used to make annual visits to and hang out with their group; heading out to gay clubs was pretty much the norm back in that day. Had a great time.. drank, danced, got hit on a few times (simply said I wasn't available)... but nope just not there for me.
Six of my prior partners were women. I like women. I have "girl crushes" ALL THE TIME. But for me...men are just...easier? So I've got no issue with what's in somebody's pants, but it's more than that, I've been attracted to these feminine women and it's like, we can flirt and play all day long and that...I don't know, that PUSH that I experience from men, that escalates the situation from "we're just foolin' around" to "ok, this is happening. We are going to have sex." just isn't there. It isn't initiating, it's taking it from one place to another. Does anybody get what I'm saying? Like there is too much passivity in both me and the other woman. Most men on the other hand, you give 'em a green light, and BOOM! It's ON! They go from willing, to doing, more easily.
My girlfriends, man, we would more likely just spend a whole night snuggling and talking. Which is fine! I like snuggling and talking. But getting that kettle to sing, was somehow just...not as easy. I really do think that dating, or having relationships, with women is harder than doing so with men. At least for me, it has been.
My Tao reading has me thinking, "Too much yin, not enough yang energy" is the problem there.
At this point, though? I would really like to put more of my time and energy into nurturing affectionate friendships, especially with other women. Sex doesn't matter, my bf has me satisfied in that regard. I just want more girl-time. I haven't made much time for any of my friends in a one-on-one way, been too busy either spending time with bf, or doing bigger social stuff, or keeping up with housework & life.
EDIT: I just realized...I want to "date" my friend girls, not have sex with them. Coffee, dinner, movies, hikes. Dates. That's what I want.
No. I don't need a sexual experience with a woman to tell me that by design, I am made to be with a man. I don't even find feminine qualities in a man all that attractive.
Not really into man hands grabbing me and man asses. No thanks. Everyone has there own preferences and to each there own, but I'm not going to go on dates with other dudes.
It is really dehumanizing to gay, lesbian, and bisexual people to characterize them as someone you might settle for if you become older and alone. No one wants to be your last choice because you can't find a man.
I think so, too.
It's one thing to say, "I've had same sex attractions before and could foresee a relationship with the right person, if the attraction were there, even though I've exclusively dated [sex], so far," and completely another thing to say, "If nothing else works out, I guess I'll just go gay as a last resort."
My former husband (who was 100% straight) used to joke that "Bisexuals are lucky. They have double the chance of getting a date on Saturday night."
As for me, I love women as friends, have had platonic "girl crushes" in the past. I fully support my gay and lesbian friends. But I am not at all interested in having sex with another female.
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