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I'd say this is a big issue, particularly if your partner is not as enamored with hanging around at home as you are.
So, originally, you dated, went out, had a good time and, eventually, moved in together and stopped doing all the things that brought you together? Does that sound about right?
We've always kind of just hung out at each other's place since the beginning. We went on a few dates in the beginning though
I don't feel this way. They said it's just kind of built up over time. Little things that make them feel somewhere in between about being in a relationship
It means you should be paying attention and "taking the temperature" of the relationship all the time, and if you haven't then you need to step it up: don't take your partner for granted but be interested in them and what they are interested in. SHOW that you care.
Are you male or female? Do you actively try to engage your partner, or is this just a person you come home to?
However, this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Webbed3
They said it's just kind of built up over time. Little things that make them feel somewhere in between about being in a relationship
Quote:
Originally Posted by Webbed3
They also said it could just be a lull so they want to see if it passes
... is not how commitment works. Does s/he LOVE you? The things you wrote above are concerning because they don't refer to feelings, which are important. It sounds like malaise about the state of things in general. You two may not need to be living together. If s/he thinks "it may pass," then "they" may just not be enjoying the circumstances.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvert Hall '62
Not me. If there was any indication that the partner was lukewarm and vague as to why, I ain't stepping up, I'm stepping out.
I do think a break, or at least a change in living situation, may be in order. But the OP has been super vague, so it's hard to tell.
It means you should be paying attention and "taking the temperature" of the relationship all the time, and if you haven't then you need to step it up: don't take your partner for granted but be interested in them and what they are interested in. SHOW that you care.
Are you male or female? Do you actively try to engage your partner, or is this just a person you come home to?
However, this:
... is not how commitment works. Does s/he LOVE you? The things you wrote above are concerning because they don't refer to feelings, which are important. It sounds like malaise about the state of things in general. You two may not need to be living together. If s/he thinks "it may pass," then "they" may just not be enjoying the circumstances.
I do think a break, or at least a change in living situation, may be in order. But the OP has been super vague, so it's hard to tell.
I'm male and we sorta just come home to each other. There's small talk but there isn't anymore fun or excitement when we see each other it's more of a sense of familiarity. She says she loves me. I did ask if she had checked out and she originally said not but then she said it wasn't binary. It's more of a feeling of being in between
Y'all can't just come home and say you're in a relationship and expect to live happily ever after. You've heard the saying that it takes work? It does. Love is a verb as well as a noun, so if you love her, you need to take action.
SMH @ "it isn't binary." Ya, it is. You're in or you're out, and if you're in, act like it.
Y'all can't just come home and say you're in a relationship and expect to live happily ever after. You've heard the saying that it takes work? It does. Love is a verb as well as a noun, so if you love her, you need to take action.
SMH @ "it isn't binary." Ya, it is. You're in or you're out, and if you're in, act like it.
I'm not sure what to do? I asked her if there was anything that I could do to help her find clarity and she said just be myself. I think she means that her feelings are necessarily binary. I actually talked to her brother about this with her permission and we're close like that and her brother said if it's worth fighting for then fight for it and if it's not let it go?
I'm not sure what to do? I asked her if there was anything that I could do to help her find clarity and she said just be myself. I think she means that her feelings are necessarily binary. I actually talked to her brother about this with her permission and we're close like that and her brother said if it's worth fighting for then fight for it and if it's not let it go?
That's basically good advice. Obviously there's a problem because if you're living together, she should be SURE. But you BOTH have to WANT to want to fix it.
Your question is remarkably similar to the one in this thread from yesterday:
We have no idea what y'all's specific issues are, but YOU should know.
Don't ask her any more questions about what you can do. Something is going on with her, and it's making her question things. Often that means they've met someone who's made them feel a "certain kind of way," but that's not ALWAYS true.
What can you do? Think about why you decided to move in with her and if it's something worth fighting and working for to YOU.
How old are y'all?
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Ya, it is. You're in or you're out, and if you're in, act like it.
