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2 books which I found extremely helpful and were awakening were by
Anne Lindbergh the wife of Charles Lindbergh, who were the couple who had their son kidnapped....both amazingly faithful people....
I'm greatful for your support. It really helped. Letting go of the dream releases me and new dreams will come, I like that. I also like the suggestion to spend more time with my children when I have them. It's so easy to focus on the tasks that I need to do, but what's really important is spending time with them (even if its just 15 min one on one time). I also liked the suggestion of doing things alone. I really feel that I am not alone, that God is with me and I fully rely on him. My immediate family is all out of state so I don't get a whole lot of advice from them, nor do I ask for it.
I did take myself to dinner the other evening it was nice but I went to marie callenders and I must have went when they were having a special for seniors because all the customers were over 60 except me.
Also no dating! I totally agree with that I just have to remind myself every now and then. My soon to be ex is dating and that's completely fine. But it can make me want to start dating too to fill in the void. I don't want to use another person to make me feel less lonely. I am comfortable being independent and I like it, it gives me a chance to see who I really am.
My independence is my gift from God. I'm sure I will be in another relationship, but no need to rush into one too soon. When the time is right I will know, but it's not going to be for a while. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy with myself. I want it to be real and not a fantasy that I make up in my head and pretend to be real.
I have to say I have done alot of recovery around this situation but it still can kick me in the booty every now and then.
PS If you want to shorten my "name" you can call me Moon, or my real name works fine too.
Moon, enjoy your independence... dont be in a rush to meet someone new. Heal the wounds that you currently have and once that is done.. then slowly get back out there to look and see what is out there. One thing for sure... if it is meant to be it will happen. Dont go taking someone just because you feel lonely. I have heard that one a lot of times. (not that you said you were, just saying )
Good luck in your future and I wish you happiness in your life!
Location: The world, where will fate take me this time?
3,162 posts, read 11,436,372 times
Reputation: 1463
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy
Hey guys,
I'm in a bit of grief and I'm just wondering if those of you who have been though a divorce have any words of encouragement. Even though splitting up with my husband is the best thing and the healthiest thing, it's not the easiest. We were together for 10 years and now apart for 4 months, got married young and had two beautiful children together. The children are 3 and 5 so they are relatively young and they are doing very well. They have noticed a shift in energy since dad has his house and mom has hers. I have them the majority of the time.
I'm in so much transition sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming. I'm looking for a "career", divorcing and leaving a religion! I'm trying to keep as much as I can as consistant as I can. I'm not moving, I'm keeping my girls in their same schools so I feel good about that. But I'll be going along very well and then suddenly from no where the grief kicks in.
The majority of the time I feel very strong and I love my independence and then I start to get a bit sad that my dream is gone. That's the challenging part is to let go of the dream of what could have been. My husband seems to be in a hurry to get this finalized. That's a bit confusing because a week before I asked him to move out (due to abusive behavior) he was telling me how much he loved me and that he never loved me more but was unable to show it. Regardless it's not about him, it's about me. What is best for me and what's best for me is for me to take care of myself and my girls.
Anyway I'm sure I'll feel much better later, I'm delving into a new career and training for it this week and so I'm just a bit overwelmed. I have to take a test on friday so wish me luck.
Take care and lots of Love
We all are humans, so we have feelings and grow attached, these feelings and attachments are hard to overcome and make us feel depressed, miss the other person which you spent a significant amount of your life with, had kids and everything, the easiest way to cope with this is to cling to God, seek him with all your strenght and find peace and refuge within him.
This will make the process much easier and less painful.
Moon, enjoy your independence... dont be in a rush to meet someone new. Heal the wounds that you currently have and once that is done.. then slowly get back out there to look and see what is out there. One thing for sure... if it is meant to be it will happen. Dont go taking someone just because you feel lonely. I have heard that one a lot of times. (not that you said you were, just saying )
Good luck in your future and I wish you happiness in your life!
We all are humans, so we have feelings and grow attached, these feelings and attachments are hard to overcome and make us feel depressed, miss the other person which you spent a significant amount of your life with, had kids and everything, the easiest way to cope with this is to cling to God, seek him with all your strenght and find peace and refuge within him.
This will make the process much easier and less painful.
Positive vibrations
Trav! Good to see you. Thanks for the reminder. I tell you if I step back from God for one minute I automatically fall into fear. I appreciate your reminder.
Location: The world, where will fate take me this time?
3,162 posts, read 11,436,372 times
Reputation: 1463
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy
Trav! Good to see you. Thanks for the reminder. I tell you if I step back from God for one minute I automatically fall into fear. I appreciate your reminder.
Love and Light
I understand you perfectly, I'm going through a similar process than you, and without God I'd be depressed and anxious, but thanks to him I'm at peace and understanding what went wrong, which were my mistakes, and which weren't, I still believe that my strong and hard decisions which brought me consequences had a cause and a reason.
And regards dating, I agree with you completely, I spent sometime alone, while my ex gf was still on my mind and heart (she still is of course) but now I feel ready to meet others without being just to fill the void, all this experience just made me remind that the love my x gf had for me, (which many times I didn't see or appreciate) And the love I had for her, was the Love of God expressing in our lifes, there's no void now because God filled it, and now I can continue sharing that love, I always do but now I'm ready to do it with a woman.
But I'm going slow, not guided by physical attraction but feelings, right now I'm just meeting people, feeling people and knowing them well, no phyisical intimacy yet, but that will only happen when the time is right.
Love and Light forever friend, I want to share a beautiful mantram with you and the rest of the crew.
AUM BHOOR BHUWAH SWAHA,
TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM
BHARGO DEVASAYA DHEEMAHI
DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODAYAT.
Oh God! Thou art the Giver of Life,
Remover of pain and sorrow,
The Bestower of happiness,
Oh! Creator of the Universe,
May we receive thy supreme sin-destroying light,
May Thou guide our intellect in the right direction.
Another dream...?! I'm determined on one account, though - if any dream shows up, it's gonna live in his own place. Done with the one-household dreams.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken
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I'm determined on one account, though - if any dream shows up, it's gonna live in his own place.
